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Maria Mena




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Maria Mena Album


White Turns Blue (07/20/2004)
07/20/2004
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. . .



Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground
Then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes
And I said I'd never seen anyone look so dumb before
And you laughed and said I still know how to turn you on though

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you're not what I expected
But you're the only one who knows how to handle me
And you're such a great kisser and I know that you agree

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

I hope you can forgive me for that time
When I put my hand between your legs
And said it was small
Cuz its really not at all
I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day you realize how amazing you are
You're gonna leave me

You're the only one who
Holds my hair back when I'm drunk and get sick
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

Exactly what I mean

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground

. . .



I've been walking around all day, thinking
I think I have a problem, I think I think too much
I've been taught to hold back my tears and avoid them
but you've made pain into something I could touch

I've been walking around all day, laughing
Think I'd be better off without you here
And I bet you are sweet and hard to get over
So I'll cry and people will stop and stare
now that's ok, let them stop and stare...

coz I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
but I am free...

I've been walking around all day, waiting
and waiting is all I seem to do
'cause I never get it unless I'm fed it
but this time I'll just have to
yeah this time I'll just have to...

Say you're not around... am I finished?
If you're not around that's too bad
Hope you're safe and sound, not alone now
'cause you know I believe in you...

. . .



Clearly, clearly I remember
Hiking up my skirt
Asking for your time

Clearly, clearly I remember
Nervous if ever confronted
And questioning myself

Perhaps, perhaps if I got better
Perhaps if I challenged myself
Perhaps if I was

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy

Maybe I'd get there...

Clearly, clearly I remember
Pulling up my skirt
Staring blank ahead

Clearly, clearly I remember
Days of useless crying
Almost feeling dead

Perhaps, perhaps if I was smaller
Perhaps, I could control myself
Perhaps if I was

. . .



The rain falls on your days
giving you a reason for mysterious ways
behind doors the darkness falls
you pour a cup of coffee, and get talking walls

But you can blame it on me
and the person you thought I wanted you to be
but don't you blame it on love
'cause you will regret it then, and from now on.

Besides from days gone by
hours seem so slow you think you'll surely die
you decide to call up a friend
when she doesn't answer you are close to the end...

. . .



Mom,
please tell me what to do,
I'm so disappointed in you,
You said those words that made me cry,
And you always wondered why,
why I sing my lullaby,

Mom,
please hurry home to me,
I waited up so patiently,
You sat down and start to cry,
But you never ask me why,
Why I sing my lullaby,
Why I sing my lullaby,

Was it my fault they lead you in the wrong direction,
Was it my fault they didn't show you any affection,
I show you and I start to cry,
still you always wonder why,
why i sing my lullaby

Mom why love me if your cold,
You'll just get bitter then grow old,
Ask me when I start to weep,
Then I'll tell you in my sleep, Why I sing my lullaby [x5]

. . .


November came down hard this year
and I saw you standing clear of the rain
falling free but I was ready to finally come clean.

Observe me, in my circus show-
on a thin light, as I take the rope and lose my nerve

but you, you pull me back with
your hands in my hand,
and our feet all in line.

I'm ready, to take you with me
To take you with me.

November came down hard this year
and I saw you standing clear of the rain
falling free but I was ready to finally come-

Your hands in my hand,
and our feet all in line.

I'm ready, to take you with me
To take you with me.

Your hands in my hand,
and our feet all in line.

I'm ready, to take you with me.
To take you with me.

. . .


"You gave this way more thought then it deserved."
You say as I tell you about my fear of rejection.

I wouldn't know better then to get scared,
cause since we've met we've had this great connection.

"You know concrete colored buildings all grow stale,"
you say as I look up dreaming.

I know better than to include the both of us.
But I can't sleep when you're gone and you say,
"What's another day?"

This stage of oblivion I find comfortable
and prior to this I never spoke.
You say you understand my absence now,
and why I never tell jokes.

"You know concrete colored buildings all grow stale,"
you say as I look up dreaming.

I know better than to include the both of us.
But I can't sleep when you're gone and you say,

"What's another day?" when we're already getting use to gray.

"What's another day?" when inspiration grows out from this.

"What's another day?" when silence is the next best thing to this, and we're all getting used to hearing you say...

"You know concrete colored buildings all grow stale,"
you say as I look up dreaming.

I know better than to include the both of us.
But I can't sleep when you're gone and you say,

"You know concrete colored buildings all grow stale,"
you say as I look up dreaming.

I know better than to include the both of us.
But I can't sleep when you're gone and you say,

"What's another day?"

. . .



Oh ohoh ohoh

Shame on you for making me wait
Time and time again you're too late
And I'm about to make a mistake
so please hurry babe
just hurry

You might as well just take it from me
You said that I should take it from you
but I don't know if I agree
so please hurry babe
but don't you worry

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm not convinced that I am worthy of your time
And I will do what it takes to make you mine
so sit back, relax, enjoy my show
this could be funny
Oh, I'm about to lose control oh ohoho ohoho

My back is acing, my feet are sore
But I'm still waiting, looking for more
I'm gonna stay here on the floor
but just you hurry babe
oh just hurry

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm not convinced that I am worthy of your time
And I will do what it takes to make you mine
so sit back, relax, enjoy my show
this could be funny
'Cause I'm about to lose control oh ohoho ohoho
[x2]

. . .



I wish you'd see it in my face
But I'm caught up in those long lost days
And how can I even make you see
When I don't even know me

Following my footsteps home
This time I'm walking all alone
Trying hard to be someone I don't even know

I feel like a shadow
Walking behind who you think I am
Just like my shadow
Wanting to see the sun again
I'm your shadow
And I'm lost
Just like my shadow

Thought I'd like me bright and new
But my candle burned out long before you
Now I'm the one whose got to pay
I'm finding me a better day

Following my footsteps home
This time I'm walking all alone
Trying to be someone I don't even know

I feel like a shadow
Walking behind who you think I am
Just like my shadow
Wanting to see the sun again
I'm your shadow
And I'm lost
Just like my shadow

Sun light is my life
I can hardly comprehend
Sun light is my life
I cannot understand

I feel like a shadow
Walking behind who you think I am
Just like my shadow
Wanting to see the sun again
I'm your shadow
And I'm lost
Just like my shadow

. . .



What could you possibly see in me?
Is it my soul hung out to dry?
I think my dysfunctional family has shaped it throughout my life.

What could you possibly like in me?
Do you like my ability to bend?
I think my fear of intimacy has shaped the time we spend.

No it's not you, it's me
and it's not us, it's them
and it's not her, it's just the way she moves you?
and she kisses harder then me, oh she kisses harder than me.

And I'll always look in through your glasses,
but all I could see, is the spector of me reflected
the empty shell of me, the empty shell of me.

What could you possibly love in me?
Is it the way I wear my smile?
It hangs from the tip of my tongue you see, oh this might take awhile.

No it's not you, it's me
and it's not us, it's them
sure it's not her, it's just the way she moves you?
and she kisses harder then me, oh she kisses harder than me.

And I'll always look in through your glasses,
but all I could see, is the spector of me reflected
the empty shell of me, the empty shell of me.

ooooooh, ooooh- aahhh, me, oooooh, oooh, me- ooooh ooooh, me- oh, oh, oh, oh,
ooooooh

And I'll always look in through your glasses,
but all I could see, was the spector of me reflected
the empty shell of me...

And I've tried to look in through your glases,
but all I could see, was the spector of me reflected, the empty shell of me, the
empty shell of me.

. . .



Vague sound of rain
pierces through my song again
but I get distracted by the way your toes move when it plays
so I let it go

I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water
And call them up for more

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
so sorry

He grabs my wrist
as my fingers turn into angry fists
and I whisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you
I'll play the part

And I say baby, so I feel stupid to call me, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
I am sorry

. . .



Out here on the ledge
I'm not far away from stepping off
I've finally picked out my cloud
It's the one over there
Surrounded by all that air

You reached out your hand
And said I understand
So why not come down

Well except for a few small bruises, cuts,and scars well I'm fine
Except for a few small bruises,cuts,and scars well I'm fine

Thank you for asking
I'm so glad we had this moment here
I know they think I'm crazy
But everything I am is what I was taught to be

You reached out your hand
And said I understand
So why not come down

Well except for a few small bruises,cuts,and scars well I'm fine
Except for a few small bruises,cuts,and scars well I'm fine

And as you read my words out loud
Make me sound genius
Make me sound special
And maybe I'll come down

Well except for a few small bruises, cuts, and scars well I'm fine
Except for a few small bruises, cuts, and scars well I'm fine

And as you read my words out loud
Make me sound genuis
Make me sound special

. . .


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