Weird Al Yankovic Album

Hey Lucy, I'm home!
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine,
You're so fine you blow my mind.
Hey, Ricky! Hey, Ricky!
Oh, Lucy, you're so fine,
You're so fine you blow my mind.
Hey, Lucy! Hey, Lucy!
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine,
You play your bongos all the time.
Hey, Ricky! Hey, Ricky!
Oh, Lucy, you're so fine,
How I love to hear you whine.
Hey, Lucy!

Hey, Ricky!
You always play your conga drums.
You think you got the right.
You wake up little Ricky
In the middle of the night.
Stop shakin' your maracas now,
And just turn out the light,
Ricky!

I'm sick of Fred and Ethel
Always comin' over here,
'Cause Fred eats all our pretzel sticks
And then he spills his beer.
Why don't you serve your casserole
And make them disappear,
Lucy?

Oh, Ricky,
What's a girl like me supposed to do?
You really drive me wild
When you sing your Ba-ba-lu.
Oh, Lucy,
You're so dizzy,
Don't you have a clue?
Well, here's to you,
Lucy!
I love you too, Lucy, too, Lucy.
Let's Ba-ba-lu, Lucy.

Hey, Ricky!
You're always playin' at the club,
You never let me go.
I'm beggin' and I'm pleadin',
But you always tell me no.
Oh please, honey, please.
Let me be in your show,
Ricky!
Waaa...

You always burn the roast,
And you drop the dishes too.
You iron my new shirt,
And you burn a hole right through.
You're such a crazy redhead,
I just don't know what to do,
Lucy!

Oh, Ricky,
What a pity, don't you understand
That every day's a rerun,
And the laughter's always canned.
Oh, Lucy,
I'm the Latin leader of the band.
So here's to you, Lucy,
Let's Ba-ba-lu, Lucy, do, Lucy...everybody rumba!

Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

Well, I went out to a party just the other night
I was jammin' to the music, I was feelin' alright
I was burning up the floor like a disco maniac
When my woman said, "Baby, why's your hand behind you back?"

Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
I said boogie (gotta boogie)
I gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

I can't pick it off (uh uh)
I can't flick it off (uh uh)
I sure ain't gonna lick it off (oh no)
So I guess I'm gonna have to learn to live with it

I gotta boogie (gotta boogie, uh huh, he's gotta boogie)
I gotta boogie (gotta boogie, uh huh, he's gotta boogie)
I gotta boogie (gotta boogie, uh huh, he's gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

(boogie)
Gotta boogie
(boogie)

Hey, you wanna boogie? (No man, I don't wanna boogie)
Wanna boogie? (Get that boogie out of my face)
Do any of you wanna boogie? (No!)

Gotta boogie on my finger
Gotta boogie on my finger
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school
Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old
Vanilla just leaves me cold
There's just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me,
Please don't gimme no crummy taste spoon
I know what I need, baby

I love rocky road
So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me
Ow!

They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same
All the soda jerkers know my name
When their supply is gone
Then I'll be movin' on
But I'll be back on Monday afternoon
You'll see
Another truckload's comin' in for me
All for me, I'm singin'

I love rocky road
So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me
OW!

When I'm all alone
I just grab my self a cone
And if I get fat and lose my teeth that's fine with me
Just lock me in the freezer, throw away the key, singin'

I love rocky road
So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me

I love rocky road
So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me

Gonna tell you a story
About Chuck and Diane
Couple British kids from
The palace at Buckingham

Chuckie wants to grow up
And be a polo star
And ride his little horsies
All around the backyard, oh yeah

You know they really paid their dues
I said hey, lawdy mama
They got them Buckingham blues

Now Chuckie goes hunting
And leaves Diane alone
So she fixes her hair
And she talks on the Princess Phone

Chuckie's still tryin' to figure out
What his job's supposed to be
And Diane's the fashion leader
Of the aristocracy

I said hey, Lady Di
Tell me where'd you get them shoes, ah
Well, hey nonny nonny
Looks like you got them Buckingham blues

Aw, bein' heir to the throne, well
It must be awful hard
Gotta pose for pictures
Out on the front yard

And Lady Di, well
She must have it pretty rough
Gotta hang around the house all day
Makin' babies and stuff

Another game of croquet
Then they're off on a Caribbean cruise
Well hey bop-a-re-bop
They really got them Buckingham blues

Ah, tell the truth, now, tell the truth
Wow

I got my mojo workin'
yeah, woo, don't help me now
Ah, hurt me mama, whoa, ah

They don't serve no Twinkies
With their afternoon tea
Never had a dinner
Made by Chef Boyardee

Bein' in the spotlight
Is a hard life to choose
Diane drops half a pound
It's on the six o'clock news, oh yeah

Those kids have really paid their dues
Oh, what a royal pain it is
When you got them Buckingham blues

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.

Well, It's time to celebrate your birthday,
It happens every year,
Eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer,
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat,
A million people every day are starving in the street!
Your daddy's in the gutter with the wreched and the poor,
Your momma's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle 4,
There's garbage in the water,
There's poision in the sky,
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die!

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.

Well, What's the matter, little friend?
You think this party is the pits?
Enjoy it while you can,
We'll soon be blown to bits!
The monkeys in the pentagon are gonna cook our goose,
Their finger's on the button all they need is an excuse!
It doen't take a military genius too see,
We'll all be crispy critters after World War 3!
There's nowhere you can run to,
No where you can hide,
When they drop the big one,
We all get fried!

Come on, boys and girls, sing along, OK!?

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.

Well, there's a punk in the alley and he's lookin' for a fight,
There's an Arab on the corner buyin' everything in sight,
There's a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed,
She said, everywhere you look today there's misery and greed,
I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun,
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun,
So if you think it's scary,
If it's more than you can take,
Then blow out the candles, and have a piece of cake!

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.

And a pinch to grow an inch!

Had to park my car for just five minutes
I had to go inside to use the phone
When I came back again my car was gone
Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone
What a bummer, I was so brought down
I had to chase that tow truck all over town, yellin'

Stop draggin' my...
Stop draggin' my...
Stop draggin' my car around

Took my baby to the local disco
I was jumpin' like a maniac
But then the owner came and pulled me off the floor
Then he, he took me to his little office in the back
He said, "I really like your snaggletooth necklace
Your pants are groovy, and your hair's okay
But, man, that car of yours is so uncool
Like wow, I'm sorry, but we towed it away!"

Stop draggin' my...
Stop draggin' my...
Stop draggin' my car around!

Now I'm at home, I'm watchin' "Gilligan's Island"
Guess it's time to trade my old car in
For twenty dollars and my '64 Plymouth
Maybe I could get a second-hand Schwinn
Look out the window, there's tow truck in the driveway
I grabbed the driver and I asked him why
He said, "I'm sorry, kid, you're late with the payments
It's time to kiss your little car goodbye"

Stop draggin' my...
Stop draggin' my...
Stop draggin' my car around!
Stop draggin' my car around!
Listen, the check's in the mail. No, really!
Stop draggin' my car around!
Oh man, I just got the hub caps painted!
Stop draggin' my car around!
Hey! Hey, I left a sandwich in the backseat!
Stop draggin' my car around!
Oh...

Oooh, my little hungry one,
Hungry one.
Open up a package of my bologna.
Oooh, I think the toast is done,
The toast is done.
Top it with a little of my bologna.

Never gonna stop,
Eat it up.
Such a tasty snack,
I always eat too much,
And throw up.
But I'll soon be back
For my my my yi yi wooo!
M-M-M-My bologna.

Spreadin' on the mustard now,
A-show me how.
Spread it on a little of this bologna.
Hopin' that we don't run out,
Don't run out.
If we do, I'm sure that I'll miss bologna.

Never gonna stop,
Eat it up.
Such a tasty snack,
I always eat too much,
And throw up.
But I'll soon be back
For my my my yi yi wooo!
M-M-M-My bologna.

[burp]

Goin' to the market now,
Market now.
I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer.
Walkin' down the shopping aisles,
Shopping aisles.
Fillin' up my basket with Oscar Mayer.

Never gonna stop,
Eat it up.
Such a tasty snack,
I always eat too much,
And throw up.
But I'll soon be back
For my my my yi yi wooo!
M-M-M-My bologna.

Well, hey how ya doin' have a seat have a drink
Boy it's good to see you, what can I say?
Oh, sorry gotta run we'll get together again
Say, what was your name anyway?
Well we're working on the problem we'll get back to you soon
But don't try to call me I'll be in a meeting every afternoon
For a year maybe longer keep in touch
Thanks for dropping by and have a nice day

(Chorus)
The check's in the mail - (Hey!) you're beautiful
Don't ever change (you know what I mean)
My girl will call your girl
We'll talk, we'll do lunch
Or leave a message on my machine
So baby won't you sign on the dotted line
I'm gonna make your dreams come true
The check's in the mail, would I lie to you?

Well hey wait a minute what's the matter hold on
You want me to fork over the loot?
You say you hate my guts you wanna take me to court
And you got yourself a lawyer with a three-piece suit?
Well I'm proud to say you're not the only critic of mine (yeah)
So if you wanna sue me I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait in line
Take a number thanks for calling who loves you baby
Don't forget to read the fine print.

(Chorus)

Oh, trust me!

The check's in the mail - Hey! you're beautiful
Don't ever change (you know what I mean)
Why don't you leave a message with my girl
I'll have lunch with your machine
So baby won't you sign on the dotted line
I'm gonna make your dreams come true
The check's in the mail, would I lie to you?
The check's in the mail, would I lie to you?

Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard,
And the place was pretty packed.
Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand,
With the perverts in the back.
It was smellin' like a locker room.
There was junk all over the floor.
We're already packed in like sardines,
But we're stoppin' to pick up more.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus.
Hey!
He's gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

There's a suitcase pokin' me in the ribs.
There's an elbow in my ear.
There's a smelly old bum standin' next to me.
Hasn't showered in a year.
Well, I think I'm missin' a contact lens.
I think my wallet's gone.
And I think this bus is stoppin' again,
To let a couple more freaks get on.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He's gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

Another one rides the bus--ah.
Another one rides the bus--ow!
Another one rides the bus--hey, hey!
Another one rides the bus--hey-y-y-y!

The window doesn't open, and the fan is broke,
And my face is turnin' blue.
I haven't been in a crowd like this
Since I went to see The Who.
Well, I should'a got off a couple miles ago,
But I couldn't get to the door.
There isn't any room for me to breathe.
Now we're gonna pick up more, yeah!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He's gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

I don't care about your karma
I don't care about what's hip
No space cadet's gonna tell me what to do
I won't swim in your jacuzzi
You can't make me settle down
I'd rather kick and jump and bite and scratch
And scream until I'm blue
I may as well be hyper as long as I'm still around
'Cause I'll have lots of time to be laid back
When I'm six feet underground.

(Chorus)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead (I'll be mellow when I'm dead)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead (I'll be mellow when I'm dead)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead (I'll be mellow when I'm dead)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead (I'll be mellow when I'm dead)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
When are you cosmic cowboys gonna get it through your heads
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead

I can't stand the smell of incense
I don't really like to jog
No Joni Mitchell 8-tracks in my car (oooh)
I hate anything organic
Even health food makes me sick
You won't catch me sipping Perrier
Down in some sushi bar, I tell you
Now's the time to go for all the gusto you can grab
You'll have plenty of time to be low-key
When you're laid out on the slab

(Chorus)

Ow! Bobcat!

I don't want no part of that vegetarian scene
I won't buy me a pair of designer jeans
No redwood hot tub to my name
I got all that I want and if it's all the same to you
I don't need a course in self-awareness
To find out who I am
And I'd rather have a Big Mac or a Jumbo Jack
Than all the bean sprouts in Japan. Wow!!!!

Ah so don't ask me what I'm into
I don't need to prove I'm cool
I'll break your arm if you ask me what's my sign
I won't tell you where my head's at
I don't need to see no shrink
Psychosis may be in this year but I'm really not that kind
And I'm in no hurry to be casual
In fact I think I'll wait
Until I'm pushing up the daisies
Like wow, man, can you relate?


I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead (mellow when I'm dead)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead (mellow when I'm dead)
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead .....wooooowww!

I got my alligator boots, I wear my pants skin tight
I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night
And when I look in the mirror, oh it's such an awesome sight
It makes me want to kneel down and pray

I'm so adorable and charming
I'm sure that you can see
And everybody's always tryin' to hang around with me
They tell me I'm the greatest, and it's hard to disagree
'Cause I'm so perfect in every way

And I'm so cute
I can hardly stand it
And I'm so handsome, honey, I could just die
I know you'll never be as wonderful as me
But at least you can try

‘Cause I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy

Baby, are you in the mood for a little romance
Well, for starters I could pour some chocolate pudding down your pants
And then attach electrodes to your brain and watch you dance
Well, golly, wouldn't that be fun

Oh, and then I might decide to tie you up with dental floss
I'll make you wear a harness
And I'll show you who's the boss
Of course, if you refuse, well honey, it's your loss
I mean, I don't do this with just anyone

So baby, how can you say its all over
So how can you tell me goodbye
So now you tell me that you're leavin' me for good
And all I wanna know is why
I mean, after all

I'm really such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy

I mean you could do worse

I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
I'm just such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)

Baby, I tell you I'm such a groovy guy
I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy
I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy
Such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Such a groovy guy
Such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
I'm such a groovy guy
Such a groovy, groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
I'm really such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Such a groovy guy
I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Such a groovy guy (whoo)
Yeah

I visit Mr. Frump in the hospital
I see him most every day
And when I see Mr. Frump in his iron lung
This is what I hear him say

(deep breathing)

Y'know, Mr. Frump is my very best friend
He's never a chump or a tease
He never tells me lies, and best of all
He never disagrees

I bring him candy and flowers every afternoon
Sit down by his side and say "Hi"
And then I ask him his opinion of the world situation
And I wait for Mr. Frump's reply, and Mr. Frump would say

(deep breathing)

Well, unfortunately, soon it came to be
Mr. Frump's dying day
And now I bring to you the very last thing
That Mr. Frump had to say....

(deep breathing, that fades and dies off)

Amen