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Stabbing Westward




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Stabbing Westward Album


Darkest Days (1998)
1998
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. . .


There are times when I'm just a shell
When I do not feel anything for anyone
All I feel is hollow and bruised
Used up and misused
Forced to be someone I don't want to be
Have I failed somehow or some way
Will the weight of today finally pull me down to drown
In the depths of despair
Where I am alone
Except for my rage

My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My darkest days

. . .


The more I feel
The more I die
Nothing to give
Nothing inside
Everything I touch I break
Everything I touch I break
Everything I touch I break

I scratch and tear
Until it bleeds
I do not want
I only need
I only need
I only need

Everything I touch I break
Everything I touch I break
Everything I touch I break
Everything I touch I break
Everything I touch I break
Everything I touch I break

How Can I Hold On (Dog Attack)
Back when you were my life
You gave me something that I could live for
Now everything's changed
And you're gone
But I'm still here waiting

. . .


With nothing to hold on to
Why should I hold on
When there's nothing to hold on to
Sex made me feel alive
But now I'm so bored with mindless passion
Drugs were somewhere to hide
But they've left me feeling cold and empty

How can I hold on
With nothing to hold on to
Why should I hold on
When there's nothing to hold on to

I thought you were my friend
That you were someone that I could turn to
Now I realize
That you were a friend when you needed something

How can I hold on
With nothing to hold on to
Why should I hold on
When there's nothing to hold on to
How can I hold on
With nothing to hold on to
Why should I hold on
When there's nothing to hold on to

. . .


You seduced me lonely in your hell
Naked, hungry I crawl into your cell
A virtual drugstore is piled on your bed
I can't resist with your tongue inside my head
How can everything be justified by you?
How can everything be justified by you?

You get off on watching my bleed
You get off on feeding my disease
This time will be perfect you explain
Your tongue is deadly as a needle through my vein

How can everything be justified by you?
How can my demise be justified by you?

I'm so tired of living for your touch
I'm so tired of needing you so much
How can everything be justified by you?
How can everything be justified by you?

How can everything be justified by you?
How can my demise be justified by you?
When did I decide to be crucified by you?
How can everything be justified by you?
By you...

. . .


I am lost in the darkness
Between two worlds and here I'm struggling
You're the light that I've been seeking
'Cause my whole life there's been something missing
Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch
And you complete me
Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch
And you complete me

Rescue me from this black hole
That sucked me in and left my dying
You're the truth that I've been seeking
'Cause my whole life I've been lying

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch
And you complete me
Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch
And you complete me

God I pray you find me worthy
Of the right to stand beside you
And of your truth and of your passion
Of the right to sleep beside you

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch
And you complete me
Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch
And you complete me
Just one touch
And you complete me
Just one touch
And you complete me
Just one touch
And you complete me

. . .


I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
I am just as fucked as you
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me

My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone
I think I'd rather be alone

You can not save me
You can't even save yourself
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
Save yourself
So just save yourself

. . .


Everywhere I go I see your face
Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice
Why are you haunting me
Why are you haunting me
Why can't I let you go
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?

Everything about me is a lie
At least it seems that way when I look in your eyes
The truth scares the shit out of me
Whoever said love is real and love is blood
has never felt the way that I do

What does it matter?
What's done is done and I should get on with my life
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?

Well, I don't know what it means
But I can't seem to make myself forget
Was it something that you said
Was it all the guilt inside my head

Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?

. . .


I know I should have told you
I was so afraid you'd leave
And now there's nothing left to say
Well nothing that you'd believe
I never meant to hurt you
With the things I couldn't say
I promise you tomorrow
While denying you today
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart

A darkness grows inside me in fading shades of gray
All the colors of the world are slowly sucked away
I'm sinking ever deeper to a place that's cold and black
I can't believe I've lost you and you're never coming back

These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
Torn my world apart

Soon the night will take me and save me from my pain
Cloak me in cold darkness and help me lose your name

These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart

. . .


Six o'clock in the morning
My head is ready to explode
I can't believe I made it home alive
I don't remember where I went
Or what I was drinking
And now it's made me sick
And I'm not denying
That I get this way
When I try to get over you
I get this way
When I try to get over you
Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love
Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love

I tried so hard to hate you
But it only makes it all worse
I only end up hating myself
And as my hatred grows
So do the lies
It's hard to face the truth sometimes
God I feel so useless
God I hate myself
When I try to get over you
I hate myself
Will I ever get over you

Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love
Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love

And after all this time you'd think I'd understand the way you feel
But no
I only think about myself
And it's driving you away
I always knew it would one day

Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love
Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love
Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love
Sometimes it hurts
So much to lose the one you love

. . .


I'm drowning in nothing
Nothing real
Nothing left
Nothing
I'm losing myself
Sinking deeper down

Silently leaving
This behind
Nothing left but me

I'm hating myself
Hating myself
Everyone hates me now

Everyone has changed
Everything has changed
Everyone has changed
But me

. . .


I keep breaking all the promises
That I keep making to myself
You'd think by now that I'd be over this
Instead I'm feeling sorry for myself
So why does everything seem desperate now
I should be feeling so alive
But it feels like something's missing
Something's wrong somehow
It feels like something deep inside has died
So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now

I keep breaking all the promises
That I keep making to myself
But promises mean nothing to me anymore
Circling the drain
Spiraling to hell

So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now

. . .


So this is where I say goodbye
This is where my story ends
And if there's one thing that I've learned from life
It's that it gets you in the end
So goodbye my friend
Goodbye
Goodbye my friend
Goodbye

. . .


I know the tears you're crying in your bed at night alone
I've cried those tears a thousand times
But those shallow empty songs about suicide are patronizing
You've got to learn to face your fears
Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away
Do you think I'll be less lonely
God I pray that I'm not lonely

When I'm dead
When I'm dead
When I'm dead

When I'm dead I won't feel any pain
And when I'm dead I won't feel anything

When I'm dead
When I'm dead
When I'm dead
When I'm dead

I know the songs you're singing, saying nothing loud and clear
I've heard that song a thousand times
But your shallow empty lies about suicide are patronizing
You can never understand what I feel

Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away
Do you think I'll be less lonely
God I pray that I'm not lonely

When I'm dead
When I'm dead
When I'm dead
When I'm dead

. . .


Lost in a world of doubt and insecurity
Nothing that you hold sacred, nothing you believe
Your life is a contradiction
While you thrive on manipulation
I fight to just hold on to what I believe
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become you

You've treated me like I'm a worthless piece of shit
You think you're in control but you make me sick
I want to watch you suffer
The way that you've made me suffer
I want to fuck up everything you've ever loved

I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become you
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become you

. . .


I hope I see you on your way down
I hope you break every bone
I hope it kills you on your way down
And I hope you die alone
All of your hate and all of your lies
Will it be worth it
When all of your friends refuse to be alibis
Will it be worth it

I'll see you on your way down
I'll see you on your way down
I'll see you on your way down

It's kind of sad to watch you break down
You greedy fuck you pissed it all away
So who will catch you on your way down
You've only got yourself to blame

When all your worst fears materialize
Will it be worth it
There's nobody left who cares you're alive
Was it worth it

I'll see you on your way down
I'll see you on your way down
I'll see you on your way down
Way down
Way down
I'll see you on your way down
I'll see you on your way down
I'll see you on your way down

. . .


I've been so alone for so long
Forgotten by the world
Forgotten to myself
Your effervescent eyes have awakened me
And brushed the dust away
But I knew you'd never stay

So I memorized the color of your eyes as I lost myself inside you
And I memorized the way our legs entwined as I drifted off beside you

I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you

At night I cling to you, I'm so afraid
Afraid the day will come
And I'll wake and find you gone
But you promised that you'd not abandon me
And kissed my fears away
But I woke up to that day

But I had memorized the way our eyes
would meet reflected in the bathroom mirror
And I memorized your naked silhouette as you slowly brushed your hair
I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you

I've been so alone for so long
I forgot how much it hurts
To wake up so alone

But I memorized how warm your body felt
as you lay half asleep beside me
And I memorized the way the sunlight
filled the room and played upon your body

I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you
I miss
God I miss
Waking up beside you

. . .


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