 Picture of Myself:
Woke up this morning, didn't like what I seen
I looked about as normal as I've ever been
But I gathered today that I would be a star
So I get myself ready to enjoy the part
I'm only in love, with a picture of myself
I'm only in love with a little girl
Decided today to get the proper shoes
$80 Vans and an ADIDAS suit
Now the chicks will all dig me 'cause I look quite hip
Sulking and tripping on my bottom lip
I'm only in love, with a picture of myself
I'm only in love with the little girl
I'm only in love, with the picture of myself
I'm only in love with that little girl
Now I've got myself in with the latest style
And the people at the mall today have made a pile
So I'm back on my way to my parents' home
So I can tell someone I need a little time alone
I'm only in love, with the picture of myself
I'm only in love with a little girl
I'm only in love, with a picture of myself
I'm only in love, I'm only in love,
I'm only in love with myself
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The Girls Next Door:
Welcome boys and to the rock and roll high school
Lesson #1 us where to put your tongue
Lesson #2 is what you do with your tool
And watch the fringe benefits come second to none!
Graduates from the old rock and roll high school
Pretend they're still rebellious with a video pose
The uneducated spew some lame political view
And the punks will look like hunks in their endorsement clothes!
So hey, let's rock, and put out a little corporate schlock!
To play, just get the call, then keep your eye on the friggin' ball
'Cause that's all... that's all!
Listen boys and girls to the rock and roll motto
It's fun to spend your money, just take it from me
And don't cry "foul" for us admitting this cash cow
The "revolution" is a capitalist industry!
So, hey, let's rock, and talk a little corporate talk!
I say, you'll never fall, when your face is pressed against the wall!
If what it takes to rock, is to suck a little corporate cock
Well, hey everybody, we'll be the girls next door!
If what it takes to score, is to be a corporate whore
We're already there!
(Mid section) Come on out to the Brüster spend-a-long
Buy a T-shirt and it'll make you feel like you're part of an elite clique
While directly paying for our advertising!
Hey hey! We passed, now everyone can kiss our ass!!!
And we'll appeal to a need
Where one never used to be
'Cause what it takes to rock is to suck some corporate cock
So, hey everybody, we'll be the girls next door!
And what it takes to score, is to be a corporate whore
So, hey Borivoj, we'll be the girls next door!
So, hey Monte Conner, we'll be the girls next door!
So, hey Pepsi-Cola, we'll be the girls next door!
So, hey Cliff Cultreri, we'll be the girls next door!!!
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Larry's O:
Larry was a pessimist, I wanna be like Larry
He bore the burden of a soul that's always burning
And says "every one should be like me!"
Well it's easy to be an anarchist
When you've got record companies to pay for it
You're no rebel if you're playing by the rules
Larry's O, he need no fucking dough
Anarchy's the way, oh he's really not that sorry
Larry's old, and just like some little girls
Oh, I guess we all get in his way
Larry was a drunken mess, and sometimes I'd rather be like Larry
But he sees me staying sober and he'll lose it all together
And then Larry wants to be like me
Yeah, it's a real triumph that I seem distressed
I'm not pissed, I'm just unimpressed
And the reason I don't care is 'cause it's all been done before
Larry's road, it's really getting old, am I in your way?
Oh I'm really really sorry
Larry's old, but acts like a little girl
Oh I guess it all gets in the way
Larry knows, I'm just doing this for the dough
And you better hope this makes no money
'Cause we've got four album options
Larry's O, just like him and he knows,
But, oh, the joke is getting old
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