NOFX Album

Hey kids!
Hey dad!
What do you wanna do today?
We don't know
Do you wanna go to the matinee?
No.
Do you wanna go to the amusement park?
No.
Do you wanna go to the punk rock show?
Yeah, let's go to the punk rock show!

Lost in a sea of combat boots,
Flush the bouncers with wasted youth
When did punk rock become so safe,
When did the scene become a joke?
The kids who used to live for beer and speed
Now want their fries and coke
Cursing and flipping birds are not allowed,
In fact let's keep noice levels down

Must separate the church and skate!

Why don't we put pads on the kids,
Helmets, head gear and mouth pieces
Then we could pad the floor and walls,
Put cameras inside bathroom stalls
We make sure only nice bands play,
Make every show a matinee
Teach kids to be all they can be,
And we could sing my country tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty

When did punk rock become so safe
I know it wasn't Duane or Fletcher,
Who put up the barricades
Like a stake in the heart,
Somehow we got driven apart

I want conflict, I want dissent
I want the scene to represent
Our hatred of authority,
Our fight against complacency
Stop singing songs about girls and love,
You killed the owl, you freed the dove
Confrontations and politics replaced
With harmonies and shticks
When did punk rock become so tame,
These fucking bands all the sound the same
We want our fights, we want our thugs
We want our burns, we want our drugs
Where is the violent apathy,
These fucking records are rated G

When did punk rock become so safe.

Frank the new CEO had to answer to the board
the board was getting anxious
and the shareholders were on the bed
legs in air, asscheeks opened wide,
they were about to get fucked like it was their first time
when one makes 20 million that 10,000 people lose
what keeps that one from swallowing a shotgun

Dan, the company man
felt loyalty to the corp
after 16 years of service
and a family to support
he actually started to believe
the weaponry and chemicals were for national defense
But Danny had a mortgage, and a boss to answer to
the guilty don't feel guilty, they learn not to

Helen is living in her car, trying to feed her kids
she got laid off from work, and her house was repossesed
its hard to think clearly when its thirty eight degrees
desperate people have been known to render desperate deeds
but when she shot that family and moved into their home
the paper read she suffered from dementia

I never thought about the universe,
It made me feel small.
Never thought about the problems of this planet at all.
Global warming, radioactive sites,
Imperialistic wrongs, and animal rights. NO!

Why think all the bad things when life is so good?
Why help with an end when there's always a could?
Let the whales worry about the poisons in the sea,
Outside of California, it's foreign policy.

I don't want changes,
I know reactions
Your dillemas are my distractions.

That’s no way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco, Franco Un-American

I never looked around, never second-guessed
Then I read some Howard Zinn now I'm always depressed
And now I can't sleep from years of apathy
All because I read a little Noam Chomsky

I'm eating vegetation cause a fast food nation
I'm wearing a couple of shoes cause of globalization
I'm watching Michael Moore expose the awful truth
I'm listening to Public Enemy and Reagan Youth

I see no world peace 'cause they're zealous armed forces
I eat no breath-mints 'cause they're from the hooved horses
Now I can't believe; what an absolute failure
The president's laughing 'cause we voted for Nader

That's no way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
No way to go, Franco Un-American
Where can we go, Franco Un-American?

I want to move north and be a Canadian
Or hang down low with the nice Australians
I don't want to be another I don't care-ican
What are we gonna do Franco, Franco Un-American

It's not the right time to be sober
Now the idiots have taken over
Spreading like a social cancer, is there an answer?

Mensa membership conceding
Tell me why and how are all the stupid people breeding
Watson, it's really elementary
The industrial revolution
Has flipped a bitch on evolution
The benevolent and wise are being thwarted, ostracized, what a bummer
The world keeps getting dumber
Insensitivity is standard and faith is being fancied over reason

Darwin's rollin over in his coffin
The fittest are surviving much less often
Now everything seems to be reversing, and it's worsening
Someone flopped a steamer in the gene pool
Now angry mob mentality's no longer the exception, it's the rule
And I'm startin to feel a lot like charlton heston
Stranded on a primate planet
Apes and orangutans that ran it to the ground
With generals and the armies that obeyed them
Followers following fables
Philosophies that enable them to rule without regard

There's no point for democracy when ignorance is celebrated
Political scientists get the same one vote as some Arkansas inbred
Majority rule, don't work in mental institutions
Sometimes the smallest softest voice carries the grand biggest solutions

What are we left with?
A nation of God-fearing pregnant nationalists
Who feel it's their duty to populate the homeland
Pass on traditions
How to get ahead religions
And prosperity via simpelton culture

The idiots are takin over

Its kind of hard to wear high heels,
Or slip on banana peels.
How does she get in and out of tubs?
I hope she don't get mad.
I hope she thinks this song is good not bad.
'Cause we think that she's totally rad, she's nubs!

No fingers, no toes, she doesn't own elbows.
No phalanges, no knobby knees to knock.
She don't need knuckles or hands
To go see punk rock bands;
She's always in the stands she's nubs.

She can't pick up a phone, she can't get dressd alone
She's got no funny bone, she's nubs.
No shoes for feet, but we sure do think she's neat!
She's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs!

I asked her if she'd want a drink,
I asked her if she liked Toronto,
I asked her to go out to the bar.
But all she said was "No thanks"
"No" and "No".

It's time for us to leave,
So I grabbed and shook her sleave,
Told her I'd see her at the next club.
She got into a pack, some guy put her on his back,
She said goodbye and kinda waved her stub.

She's got beautiful eyes, breasts regular size.
But without calves and thighs, she's nubs.
It's hard to get good head or get tied to a bed
When all you've got is a body and head she's nubs.

She's nubs (she's nubs, she's nubs!)
She's nubs (she's nubs!)
She's nubs (she's nubs, she's nubs!)
She's nubs!

Oh, she may not walk the walk.
And she may not like to talk.
But, boy she sure knows how to rock
She's nubs! (She's nubs, she's nubs!)

There's a place where some of us choose to live
a gated community cops can't come in
A neighborhood for punks over the hill
we're spendin' our golden years in Mattersvile
We can do whatever we want whenever we please
There's always a keg of beer and a block of cheese
We got charams, pinball, asteroids, space invaders, and missile command

We will grow old together we will play bridge and Texas hold 'em
Duane and Stevie Cab they still skateboard
but most of us lawn bowl and shuffleboard
We may be getting ripe but we ain't bored

We got a blackboard with some rules and laws
Hefe's got an 18 car garage
Most the cars are smashed but so is Spike
twice a week on karaoke night
Eric Melvin lives next door to me
Limo and the Locknecks head security
At the end of my cul de sac
Davey Havok's house is painted black

We will grow old and fatter
We got our ville so what else matters
Trashy, Mod, and Kath are staying up
Nathan, Matt, and Dad are passing out
When California cracks we're all goin' down

She's a painting outta focus with no good sense of intention she's authentic
She's a model of disaster with a heart of revolution
She's so innocent, but guilty's her plea
Everybody wants to save her from herself
They really want to save themselves

She's got the grace, of a tourist, with the charm of demolition
She's a poem without meter or rhyme a random design of a flower
Like a rose no one really knows
She's a master piece deserving restoration or condemnation time will tell us
If she's a lifer or a decomposuer she's the rose no one really knows

Medio-core it's not forsaken the music they're makin'
Will leave you with a feeling of indifference
How was the band?
They were okay, not great, but pretty good
They played the songs I knew they would
Some old, some new, same formula stay true
We can concur, it's mediocre

Sing, sing a song, make it simple, so all the kids can sing along, sing along

Medio-core the list keeps growin', the melodies been stolen
Remind me of songs sung in the 70s, you might fool the kids
but you don't fool me, you ever heard of something called aboriginality

Is it absurd to compose music no one's ever heard
Predictability like a bosom will comfort them
My one true foe, LCD

(Medio-core) It's under powered, the riffs are all deflowered
(Medio-core) It's spreading faster than British tooth decay
(Medio-core) "Are you ready to rock", "How you all doin' tonight"
You condescending fucks make me want to laugh and puke at the same

I'm one to speak this song sounds like 50 you've heard before, medio-core

Sing, sing a song, make it simple, so all the kids can sing along, sing along

I got an invitation to go to Anarchy Camp
There will be twistin', fistin', biting, fighting all in an evening
The soundtrack will go multi-platinum
Barbecue a boca while the effigies burn
You may not wanna stay to see how we take care of a turncoat
Christiana's kinda far away
So come along with me
We can dance and trip and be anarchists
We gotta get the manual and put it in the oven 'til it cooks
Then we're gonna take the ashes to the wassail
And use them to spike the punch

Rules of Anarchy Camp: reckless abandonment
Random acts of dumbness will be rewarded
If you see somebody taking charge, you'll be expected to beat them
Cuz everyone who's no one, will be participating
No one who is someone will ever get to know the joys of Anarchism, yeah
Destruction of the system

So come along with us, salad days and nights on the anarchaic bus
We're gonna pick up indigents crusties and a half a dozen nuts
And we're never coming home

Underwater basket weaving. (We got some arts and crafts)
Meth-Amphetamine symposiums. (They last a couple days)
African killer spelling bees. (You better get it right)
Bowling in ice hockey rinks. (Of course checking is allowed)
Anarchy Camp's never inert. (You think we don't know that it's)
Not much fun 'til someone gets hurt. (Our only motto)
So we're greasing up the rusty vert ramp
Time to make some reservations for next year's Anarchy Camp

It's okay allow yourself a little hate
Hatred is not so bad
When directed at injustice
You can turn the other cheek
Just don't turn the other way

Enemy of the planet we finally have a common hate
A reason to forget about our differences and stand as a united front
It's up to us
We must expose, humiliate American Errorists
We'll start with one
The war has just begun
The war had just begun

I thought you were the one,
When I heard Holidays In The Sun
Come from your bedroom
But my mind started to stray
When I saw Youth Of Today
Mixed with your singles

Whats with this Underdog
And this GNR EP
I dont think Hanoi Rocks
And I dont want your Paul Stanley
Next to my Subhumans gatefold
I'm not trying to be a jerk
But I don't think this record merger's gonna work.

But when I saw Christ On Parade
And This Is Boston not L.A.
I knew you were the one.

I knew you were for me
When I saw the first Vandals EP
I found SNFU and cool
I owned that record too
Seems we both had Social Unrest
And sung She's A Pervert Nurse
We both hate the first pressing
Of How Could Hell Be Any Worse
I knew you were the one.

So now we got to Earth AD's
And we got two Killing Jokes
We got two Adolesences, two Peni's and two The Crews
We got two Someone Got Their Head Kicked Ins
We got two Declines, two Damaged
And two Jelous Agains.

I knew you were the one
When I saw Machine Gun Ettiquette
I knew you were the one
When I saw the Peace War Comp

We got two Articels Of Faith
31 minutes of Group Sex
A couple of Avengers and a pair of Out Of Steps
We got two What We Do Is Secret
We got two TSOL's
We got two Freedom Of Choices
We got two Three Hits From Hell
I knew you were the one

The first time i saw the descendents
They were the fastest band i'd ever seen
No one in the crowd really cared for them
We were waiting for The Ally Cats to play
After a couple months i heard Kabuki Girl
On Rodney On The Roo late sunday night
That was enough for me
I hopped the bus to Licorice Pizza
And bought my all time favorite record

The next time i went to the whiskey
It was DOA with Millions of Dead Cops
The latter band played faster than i could believe
But the songs sounded the same and kinda sucked
'Cept John Wayne was a Nazi
And Joey Shithead was a drunk
Then John Macias beat some hippie to a pulp
Cuz having long hair was a mistake

The third time i went to the hospital
I needed 13 stitches in my head
I managed to catch about 6 songs of Ill Repute
Then some suicidal threw me into a post
My girlfriend started to cry cuz we had to leave
Before DRI played 50 lousy songs
My blood stained shirt smelled of clove cigarettes
But it sure looked pretty cool after a wash

First they put away the dealers
Keep our kids safe and off the streets
Then they put away the prostitutes
Keep married men cloisterred at home
Then they shooed away the bums
Then they beat and bashed the queers
Turned away the asylum seekers
Fed us suspicions and fears
We didn't raise our voice
We didn't make a fuss
It's funny there was no one left to notice when they came for us

Looks like witches are in season
You better fly your flag and be aware
Of anyone who might fit the description
Diversity is now our biggest fear
Now with our conversations tapped
And our differences exposed
How ya supposed to love your neighbor
With our minds and curtains closed
We used to worry bout big brother
Now we have a big father and an even bigger mother

And you still believe, this aristocracy gives a fuck about you
They put the mock, in demockracy and you swallowed every hook
The sad truth is you would rather follow the school into the net
Cuz swimming alone at sea is not the kind of freedom you actually want
So go back to your crib and suck on a tit go bask the warmth of your diaper
You're sitting in shit and piss while sucking on a giant pacifier
A country of adult infants
A legion of mental midgets
A country of adult infants
All re-gaining their unconsciousness

Whoops I OD'd, shortness of breath, call ambulance, tell my wife I (love her)
Error in judgement cut my life, no second chance, no guiding light
I never meant, to cause, you pain
I never thought I'd be the one who took the fall
I got lost in the moment, assholes like to test the limit

Six minutes down, breathing machine, brain not feel right
The look on you, is killing me, drowning in shame
But don't feel bad, cuz I never feared consequences
hate regrets more than apologies

A year has passes, like photographs, my life is just
A scrapbook of old friends and faded memories
Looks like I pulled the rug out from under myself
the falls too much for me to recover from

It's been real fun but now i must say goodbye, I'll see you all at okie dogs