Nellie McKay Album

Feminists don't have a sense of humor
Feminists just want to be alone
Feminists spread vicious lies and rumors
They have a tumor on their funny bone

They say
Child molestation isn't funny
Rape and degradation's just a crime
Rampant prostitution, sex for money
Can't these chicks do anything but whine?

Dance break!

They say
Cheap objectification isn't witty (it's hot)
Equal work and wages worth the fight
On-demand abortion, every city
Won't these women never get a life?

Feminists don't have a sense of humor
Feminists and vegetarians
Feminists spread vicious lies and rumor
They're far too sensitive to ever be a ham
That's why these feminists just need to find a man

I'm Dennis Kucinich, and I approve this message

Maxine shrek was a very lucky lady!
Maxine shrek was a very lucky girl!
Who you wanna be? (maxine shrek!)
Who you wanna see? (maxine shrek!)

Have you got some time
Have you got some spine
Have you got something to begin with
Or are you in a sinwich
Have you got some nerve
Have you got some verve
Have you got something to depend on
Or do you fender bend on

And if you say no
Do you mean to go down below the earth with nothing

Now you've got my name
And you've got my fame
Have you got something to remind you of who you used to be
Or are you happy being me

Moonlight and roses
Starlight and fairytales that won't come true
Good news for those who pine away
The day comes shining through

Kittens high hattin'
Sittin' on satin with a host who's catnip fond
For those who seize the day
The way is paved beyond-er

I didn't know the world was like this
If I'd have known, then I'd be psychic
If I had a clue
Then maybe I'd be blue as a mockingbird
Why do you think she laughs so much

I didn't know i had such problems
If I'd have known, then I'd have solved them
But looking down the road
The Oklahoma toad's beckoning to me

Wake up in a small cafe
Sweatshop in the sunshine
Set sail and you're far away
Never using force

Cold coffee or cabarnet
Brick-hoppin' the daydream
Shoe drops and you're bound to pay
Gotta stay the course

You just wanna get, you don't wanna give
You may forget, but you'll never forgive
And what is the point of live and let live
If they're stealin' your cup of joe
It's a slick sham, hot damn
You wind up in a toe jam
You better scram fast, sam
The quicksand's gettin' close

Say it again if you will
Have you got the nerve to give it up at the beginning
And does it hurt you (does it hurt you)
Does it hurt you (does it hurt you)

My time was a miracle
Insipid and satirical
A madrigal of lyrical twists
In the fists of a Christmas invitational
Crisp and informational
It seemed like a good idea at the time
Why cry, mr. Magpie
I spy kofi
Fee, i mean see
I mean, freedom ain't cheap
I mean the first test address
No such thing as good press
The best dressed messer in a Washington d.c.

Say it again if you will
Have you got the nerve to give it up at the beginning
And does it hurt you (does it hurt you)
Does it hurt you (does it hurt you)

Oh, livin's a bunch of shit
Shittin's a part of livin'
Fartin's a friend of shittin'
Aye and so we carry on

Bring me a clarinet
Get me a big brown derby
Buy me a lie a whale and sing a winter song

Because I'm tired of maturity
Airport insecurity
Running from the thought police
Fighting with the go-betweens
Hold up let me steal a breath
Cause we're dealing with identity theft

You need an education
I don't see why I got to
You need a good degree
As to assimilate
So little time
So much to be bored by
If no one trod along Harvard lawn
No one'd make a nuclear bomb
They don't teach you how to care
Empathising if you dare
Euthanize your sense of fair play
Better to obey
No child is free
Why it's queasy to see
Is that an elementary or a penitentiary
Huh geez

Get off my back
Beat it
Take it to town
Man idiots go to college to get dumbed down

Oh it leaves you bereft
Oh identify theft
I may be wrong
I don't know why
I may be wrong but I'll try

Because I'm sick of the insanity
Watching horny manatee
Feeling like a libertine
Dealing with the death machine
Hold em up
It's a street arrest
And we're dealing with identity theft

You need a publication
I don't see why I got to
You need a press release
As to assimilate
Journo-fascist profiteers
Pornotastic pioneers
Bonbonbastic puppeteers
Get away from me
How can you write what we read
That ain't my reality
You disabuse humanity humility and fealty
Oh you guess you got an edge
Hiding your hedge from the feds
Putting down the little veg
Ignorance is a right, not a privilege

I'm finished done and had it
And while you fuckers are at it
As far as I'm concerned
Pluto's still a planet

Oh you die a quick death
Oh identity theft
I may be wrong
I don't know why
I may be wrong but I'll try

Because I'm sick of all the sabotage
Where's my female entourage
Looking for some kinda closure
All I'm finding is Ray Bolger
Hold up, hell yeah I'll confess
Cause we're dealing with identity theft

You need an occupation
I don't see why I got to
You need a boss to please
Blah blah blah blah blah you're late
Yakety yak
Don't look wack
Nellie you're a heart attack
Murder murder on the wall
Who's the butchest one of all
Where'd you get that vegan dress
A flea market
Oops I forgot
You design for target
Shun violence and religion
Don't ever play with nuns
But I punched a man on Broadway
Just to watch him cry
Every guy I went to try
Said I fight him but I can't think why

Bent unhinged and singed
I cringe to watch the main event
But in the end there's no success like revenge

Oh it leaves you bereft
Oh identity theft
I may be wrong
I don't know why
I may be wrong but I'll try

Because I'm tired of the hypocrisy
Is it them or is it me
If Jesus Christ is left in ruin
Satan buddy how you doing
Hold em up it's a street arrest
And we're dealing with identity theft

Because I'm tired of being sweet and nice
Fuck you once and fuck you twice
Show your passport
Get that stamp
Funny like a Nazi camp
Hold em up, hell yeah I'll confess
Cause we're dealing with identity theft

Saturday night in the men's ensemble dressing room
Starting a fight in the men's ensemble lair
Beware of dreams come true
It means you have to share a room
But tell'em I'll be there

It's Saturday night
They said we're one big family
But I'm just duckin' tangerines
And looking for my gun

It's Saturday night
There's lots of hate and jealous fear
And there's no favored nations here
Now where's my elf ears gone
It's Saturday night

Saturday night in the men's ensemble dressing room
Watching the fight in the men's ensemble lair
You may escape the cage
But then you have to share a stage
And tell'em I'll be there

It's Saturday night
The wind blasts and the water flows
As the winter closes
At dawn of newborn spring
As each festering light explodes
There's a thorn that grows
In the sun so sweltering
This manifest bore
A blistering sore
Long splintering war-torn country massacre
Of blood and blue brains
Please let the rain break and wash them away
It's Saturday night And now back to our new high school
And they got me wrong
Yeah they got me wrong again
And although you're all talentless fools
Can't we get along
Can't we get along my friends
I got to be free
I got to for me
And if you can't see well that's enough
That's all that I need
To see you're all insecure
Pedicured fuckers

It's Saturday night
And now's the time to vindicate
Tomorrow's just a matinee
And then we settle scores
It's Saturday night

Another week and then I'm done
Just one more piece of chewing gum
And I don't care no more
It's Saturday night

Saturday night in the men's ensemble dressing room
Starting a fight in the men's ensemble lair
You may escape the crypt
But keep your distance from all scripts
Because before you're even aware
You'll be there
It's Saturday night

Saturday night in the men's ensemble dressing room
Starting a fight in the men's ensemble lair
It's Saturday night

Santa Maria can you hear me
I've got no reason to live
They say I've been lucky
But it's all relative

Won't you make it easy
I've got to erase all the pain
They say it's behind me
But it keeps coming back

But if you knew my love
Then you would see my love
Never meant to interfere with all your plans
And if you cannot see
Why don't you come for me
And escape me to the world of politan

Io que la noche se hace
A la manana parece

Policeman please arrest me
I'd rather live in a jail
Than have to stay out here
Where everything fails

Won't you give me something
I'll pay you awfully well
I will reimburse you
If you'll just make the deal

But if you knew my love
Then you would see my love
Never meant to interfere with all your plans
And if you cannot see
Why don't you come for me
And escape me to the world of politan

You gotta say I'm an island
In the pacific
As miss o'day would say the view's terrific
The moral of the story is a doozy
Dizzy parade

You gotta say I'm an island
Oh you can't fake it
No if everybody knew the way to make it
The laurel and the glory would be taken
Man I'd be made

As we approach fait weather
As we entertain our maiden endeavor
Round us still the chorus beats
The schools, the streets
There's always danger there

For men will divest
Only to a certain point
For each divines their own experience
And to our own
We must attest

They say authority's essential
They are insincere
They say discipline is fundamental
You will persevere
And when you've lost your fear

Then that's when you must
Testify
Raise your hands up to the sky
Clouds are coming closer but a don't you cry
Because you ain't got time just keep on striving testifying

Testify
Raise your hands up to the sky
Clouds are coming closer but a don't you cry
Because you ain't got time just keep on striving testifying

As you pack the tools of past illusions
You have lost your nerve
Set them near you lest they cause confusion
Keep some in reserve
To get what you deserve

You're gonna have to testify
Raise your hands up to the sky
Clouds are coming closer but a don't you cry
Because you ain't got time just keep on striving testifying

Testify
Raise your hands up to the sky
Clouds are coming closer but a don't you cry
Because you ain't got time just keep on striving testifying

Mama you got me my corduroy jeans
Do your own laundry if you want them clean
Mama the workload they're putting me through
Like i don't know
Mama you got me my history books
Yeah and i thought me I'd take me a look
But doesn't matter what you do or say
Because it ain't my history anyway

Feast or famine you're crying at the disco
You have lost your way
The peace they were planning died in San Francisco
Floating on the bay
Just close your eyes and pray

Then stand up straight and testify
Raise your hands up to the sky
Clouds are coming closer but a don't you cry
'Cause you ain't got time just keep on striving testifying

Testify
Raise your hands up to the sky
Clouds are coming closer but a don't you cry
Because you ain't got time just keep on striving testifying...

Should you plan to travel way down south
Wow oh oh!
Woman to woman i gotta tell you about
A curse!
A curse that rose out of the deep green swamp
Wow oh oh!
It hollers murder
And it makes you jump
And then it says

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

When I was younger just a little girl
Wow oh oh!
Lennon glasses and a ponytail
Huh huh!
My mama told me honey pack your trunk
Wow oh oh!
We're going to Mississippi do the bayou bump
Where they say

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie yeah yeah yeah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

One day I set out for a walk
The path soon grew quite dark i saw
My shadow running faster
Hurry, slow mo
Coming after me
After me
And it said

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah wow yeah !
Wah ah ah !

And zombie don't have to dance
Sha na na
And zombie don't dance at your command
Oh sha na na
But zombie don't have to wait
Oh sha na na
So come on
Come on
Do the voodoo shake

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

One day I set out for a walk
The path soon grew quite dark i saw
My shadow running faster
Hurry, slow mo
Coming after me
After me
And it said

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah wow yeah !
Wah ah ah !

The sun is shining and you're feeling fine
Wow oh oh!
As you pass the mason-dixie line
Huh huh!
The forest echoes and the treeleaves snap
Wow oh oh!
Hey what's that sound spin around
Who dat
Then they say

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie whoah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

Do the zombie
Wah ah ah ah !
Do the zombie yeah yeah yeah yeah !
Wah ah ah !

Do the zombie, zombie woah yeah...