. . .
|
|
look at you you're young
havin' so much fun
gonna be a star
blah blah blah
and click there goes the phone
I don't wanna know
what my
horoscope's predicting
just pour me a drink
cuz I need a kick
I don't wanna think
I just wanna sip
(chorus)
David don't you hear me at all
David won't you give me a call
waitin' here not makin' a sound
David come around
mister bushie says
I'm your president
I have lots to say
hey hey hey
and click goes the remote
there you have my vote
catchin' the next boat out of here
just pour me a drink
cuz I need a lie
I don't wanna think
I just wanna die
(chorus)
David don't you hear me at all
David don't you hear through the wall
waitin' here not makin' a sound
David come around
(bridge)
chaos pervades the world outside
days offer spades of hurled outcries
gone is the fair and five and dime
but he is there
he's so fine
listen to her play
has somethin' to say
even has a rap
clap clap clap
but click there goes the lid
sorry 'bout the fib
I ain't got a grip on nothin'
just pour me a drink
right outta the can
I don't wanna think
I just want my man
(chorus)
David don't you hear me at all
David dear I'm just down the hall
waitin' here not makin' a sound
David come around
. . .
|
|
send a breeze
a pitbull's yelp
a tender squeeze
a cry for help
make it now
and make it fast
such memories
can never last
I long for the days
music and mayhem
mama's a smilin' friend
in the scuzzy hue of the sunlight
Manhattan avenue
Lionel please
watch o'er our door
the children tease
I beg for more
chipping paint
the ceiling's spent
aw ain't it great
can't make the rent
I long for the days
kittens are meowling
junkies are prowling
deep in the jazzy hue of the streetlight
Manhattan avenue
(instrumental break)
how wild it is
what strange a vice
that a mugger and a child should share the same paradise
oh but dreams come true on
Manhattan avenue
. . .
|
|
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't apologize so much
that it's jive it's a crutch
I just used when I'm judged
bein' fudged by a face I can't erase and can't see
cuz I misplaced a dossier or Monty Python CD
or somethin' stupid like that
but jesus is that so bad
to make my ego go splat
like a tire goin' flat
or fat on a big mac
I'm bein' attacked
tit for tat
you fuckin' bureaucrats
you can just apologize back
(bridge)
But I don't know when it comes and it goes
all the highs and the lows
in this motionless psychosis
ieeieei and I die fadin' straight away
ieeieei and I cry every waking day
I don't know what else to say
(chorus)
I'm sorry for the mess
the stupid way I'm dressed
I guess I failed my test
oh don't you know I'm sorry for my views
I musta been confused
and yet you know that really I'm sorry for you
Well now I don't mean to offend, much
just comprehend
when you're female and you're fenced in and
phen-phened to no end
and no zen guide to men will help you fend off the brethren
and then the pen appears
and better than the oxygen network
or the sword or the spear or the fork
or the bored pork-fed horde
it's a mooring post
the whore you'll miss the most when you're away
when you're in Snowshoe PA
doin' some play from Backstage
that deals with AIDS and race and gays and
relationships and ballet
and then you're like “hey yay what'd you say?
I can just sing my troubles away?”
but then you're fucked
'cause you gotta make a buck
and the whole world sucks
and you're like a lame duck
that's lyin' dyin' tryin' to sell out
but there's no one buyin' and there's all this doubt
and you can preen and dream and scream and shot
but your life's affliction is the fiction of Faust
(bridge)
I'm sorry for the time
the stupid way I rhyme
I knew I shoulda chose a life of crime
I'm sorry for my blues
I know it's all old news
and yet you know that really I'm sorry for you
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I also mirror this apology
this idealogy of sorry
in part of the liberal theology that's leading us to hari-kari
it's like a mythology, almost
like a malingering ghost
as we slowly decompose
writing in the grave of the polls
cryin' for Senator Wellstone and then proceeding to moan
at our own supposed sabotage of the elections at home
“oh somebody phone home!
the American people have spoken!”
now is that certain?
maybe those nice Midwestern folks were just jokin'
in any case there's no use in dopin' chokin' mopin' and sobbin'
come on you disheartenin' dobbins
sayin' sorry is my problem
so to conclude
I'm a little of a prude
so it's difficult for me to have to allude
to all this rude crude verbal baggage
but I manage cuz I'm a savage inside
I may listen to Enya's greatest hits
and try to control my hissy fits with pride
won't get my hair dyed
but oh the onus of lyin' all the time
I don't wanna say, “diiiie motherfucker!”
but I wouldn't mind if you did
sometimes even the nice girl's ego has to override the id
and so before I flip my lid my crib
and get myself out of this bind
you can hear what's on my lips but you don't know
what's in my mind
(chorus)
I'm sorry for you I'm sorry for you
I'm sorry
waaaah
. . .
|
|
my cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin
did she die from old age or was it for my sins
god I loved her oh so much
miss her little kitty touch
does she miss me does she care
oh I miss her kitty stare
do you have a little time
would you like to ease my mind
talk for hours and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person nicer
but you've heard it all before
(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell hello man in white
he's gonna make you all well
getcha through the night
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you take your fresh bromide
maybe this man of letters lied
let me tell you 'bout a dream I had the other night
you were in it boy you sure gave me a super fright
I was walking down the street
downtown by the DMV
you popped out behind a door
it was odd you were on all fours
do you have some time to spare
you were barking at a bear
it said hey you'd better stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before
(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in red
he's gonna make you all well
getcha into bed
but hey now
you don't feel better
as you wake and slowly rise
maybe this smooth jet-setter lied
(instrumental break)
stick around one minute more
I'm smarter than you think
do I sound like an old bore
oh man it's just the drink
I didn't always hit the gin
there were times when I fit in
they'll never know how much I tried
did I tell you my cat died
do you have a little time
would you like to feel sublime
run away and never stop
chop your head off
be a lighter person
brighter person
nicer
but you've heard it all before
(chorus)
so ding dong
there's the doorbell
hello man in black
he's gonna make you all well
there's no going back
but hey now you don't feel better
as you drift off in the tide
maybe this jack the ripper lied
and you died
. . .
|
|
Baby watch your back
Baby watch your back ...
I watched you come and go and never noticed
like daily papers, faces, knick-knacks
but now I've seen you
and you are my focus
baby watch your back
I went my days and nights
not knowing of you
but now you fill my every minute
and I can't stop myself for my thoughts
of you are infinite
I watch you
you hate me
I don't like you
but I want to have your baby
you ain't got no soul
I don't really get you
you ain't got no soul
like I've never met you
(chorus)
You ain't got no soul
but I'm gonna let you in
for a big surprise
Baby watch your back
baby watch your back
watch out
Now you walk down the street and I follow
wearing my wig and funny glasses
and I will follow you wherever you go
baby watch your back
I'll catch you one day in the rain or the fog
and then you'll realize how I care
and I'm invincible for I am like smog
I'm everywhere
I touch you
I feel you
I brush you
soon I'll steal you
(chorus)
Baby watch your back!
. . .
|
|
I'm just a walkin' my dog
singin' my song
strollin' along
yeah it's just me and my dog
catchin' some sun
we can't go wrong
My life was lonely and blue
yeah I was sad as a sailor
I was an angry 'un too
Then there was you
appeared, when I was entangled
with youth, and fear, and nerves
jingle jangle
vermouth and beer
were gettin' me mangled up
But then I looked in your eyes
and I was no more a failure
you looked so wacky and wise
and I said, lord I'm happy
'cause I'm just a walkin' my dog
singin' my song
strollin' along
it's just me and my dog
catchin' some sun
we can't go wrong
'cause I don't care 'bout your hatin' and your doubt
and I don't care what the politicians spout
if you wanna companion
well just go right to the pound
and find yourself a hound
and make that doggie proud
'cause that's what it's all about
My life was tragic and sad
yeah I was the archetypal loser
I was a pageant gone bad
Then there was you on time
and wagging your tail
in the cutest mime
and you was in jail
I said woof, be mine
and you gave a wail
and then I was no longer alone
and I was no more a boozer
we'll make the happiest home
and I said lord I'm happy
'cause I'm just a walkin' my dog
singin' my song
strollin' along
it's just me and my dog
catchin' some sun
we can't go wrong
'cause I don't care 'bout your hatin' and your doubt
and I don't care what the politicians spout
if you need a companion
well just go right to the pound
and find yourself a hound
and make that doggie proud
'cause that's what it's all about
that's what it's all about
that's what it's all abow-wow-wow-wout
that's what it's all about
. . .
|
|
oh waiter bring me my check soon
I have a hectic schedule
I'm saddened by the news that we won
I wonder what I'd say to the bomb
where are you now
where are you going
do you mind
and do you care
that you will die
do you despair
and do you allow
for what you are choking
do you know
just what you do
the fickle snow
it's cuz of you
(chorus)
waiter
I need my change I need it now sooner not
later
it may seem strange but have you seen the paper
maybe it's victory
maybe it's history
maybe it's you
the scuds drop down like butterflies
they're loved and round and very wise
they're just like you and me
as they tend
their incandescent need for a friend
where are they now
where are they headed
do they see
the little ones
and do they flee
or do they run
and do they feel proud
as they are embedded
do they ask
or do they tell
to mask the fact
they're going to hell
(chorus)
waiter
I need my change I need it now sooner not
later
it may seem strange but have you seen the paper
maybe it's erotic
maybe it's despotic
maybe it's you
waiter
I need my change I need it now sooner not
later
it may seem strange but have you seen the paper
maybe it's victory
maybe it's history
maybe it's you
nothin could be finer than to be in Carolina in the mornin
. . .
|
|
I wanna get married
yes, I need a spouse
I want a nice Leave it to Beaverish
golden retriever and a little white house
I wanna get married
I need to cook meals
I wanna pack you cute little lunches
for my Brady bunches
then read Danielle Steele
I wanna escape
this rat race I've created
I'm feelin' enervated
I don't care if I make it
I just want to bake a sugar cake for you
to take to work in the morn
and I'll stay home cleaning the dishes
and keeping your wishes all warm
I wanna get married
that's why I was born
I wanna partake in bake sales for the classroom
I wanna hear the sweet tune
of Sally's little vroom-vroom
as she zooms around my broom
as I exhume the gloom
of my shallow life
I wanna be simple and honest and dimpled
'cause I am your wife
I will never tarry
I'm not even torn
I wanna get married
that's why I was born
. . .
|
|
I wake up
I am bored
to my pictures I implore
should I go or stay
what should I be today
make a leap
go to sleep
should I cry or should I weep
where should I go from here
am I hetero or queer
oh, self discovery
what joy it is
I need recovery
caffeinated fizz
should I run
should I hide
happy pill or suicide
contribute or refute
have a kid
then call it cute
oh, self -esteeming, in suburbia
my shelf is teeming
a pet named Chia
(chorus)
oh what should I say
what should I pray
who would care if I went ahead
and punched the wall
oh what do I care
what should I wear
what do I care
what does it matter
if I change the world at all
I listen to some rap
I give myself a slap
come on use the pain
drink up from the rain
just arise unsupervised
healthy wealthy you know wise
dance around
make a sound
let yourself become unwound
god, I'm so German
have to have a plan
please Ethel Merman help me out this jam
ding a ling
ring a ding
anything just do something
feelin' dense
on the fence
civil disobedience
come on now's the hour
go and deviate
can't you feel the power
hope you appreciate
(chorus)
OK Dr. Phil
ready for my pill
flex my psychic muscle
guess we'd better hustle
people are dying now
do something you ugly cow
sorry for myself again
me, my wallet and my men
Jesus I love you
Frank I love you, too
hit the road together
get out of the zoo
no exit
just a pit
apocalyptic and a zit
hurry now
pack your bags
adieu you mall scallawags
got my sneakers velcroed
snap my bookbag on
goodbye little zipcode
how can I go wrong
(chorus)
what does it matter
if I change the world at all
. . .
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|
Jimmy, you know my love is true
and Davy, you know I love only you
and Mitchie, you give meaning to every day
and Nathan, hold on I got somethin' to say
menfolk they need their women
but women don't need their men
ladies can walk away grinnin'
but guys act surprised
I thought I was your man
why'd you leave me baby
well sir here's a maybe
maybe it's because we can
“what the hell do you mean?”
well for instance
you get a one you want twofold
“and what else?”
you're a fiend, you're tight-fisted
got no moral molars
shrug your shoulders
sell your soul to get your gold
but hey hey hey
that ain't nothin' to do with you
you're a sensitive Joe I'm forgettin'
but every woman knows
it's a pose, just a pose
You're preenin' in your armchair
and I'm steamin' at your knee
go on pontificatin' like I care
Peter Lorrie, then a story about AC/DC
Harvard-educated, frustrated dictator
tyrant with a PhD
“what the hell do you mean?”
well for instance
you have started every war
“and what else?”
you're obscene, a coincidence
get your pornos from Time Warner
who is fornicatin' foreign shores
but hey hey hey
that ain't nothin' to do with you
you're a sensitive Joe, I'm forgettin'
but every woman knows
it's a pose, just a pose
Sammy, oh let me put away the kettle
oh no honey
your arrogance is what makes you special
and Manny, of course
when you leave you are missed
fellas can't you see I'm pissed
tryin' to enjoy my readin'
but you insist on interpretin' text
oh go on fuck off I'm pleadin'
every sentence is a pretext for sex sex sex sex
god you went to Oxford
head still in your boxers
but you're male so what should I expect?
“what the hell do you mean?”
well for instance
you've committed every rape
“and what else?”
I won't heed your insistence
Mr. copulatin' populatin' masturbatin' denigratin'
Birth of a Nation instigatin' violator of my escape
but hey hey hey, that ain't nothin' to do with you
you're a sensitive Joe, I'm forgettin'
but every woman knows
it's a pose, just a pose
heaven knows
the world's your ho
but she's gettin' too old
for your pose
oh, there she goes
. . .
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|
And when the dawn breaks through the drums start
beating the morning to the farm
your grimace widens and your lips part
sounding the silent alarm
and when the bells explode they scatter
hitching a hand unto the breeze
the grand bureaucracy grows fatter
whistling the old melodies
oh-ee-oh goes the Buckingham jewel guard
oh-ee-oh goes the cop on the beat
oh-ee-oh goes the kid in the schoolyard
oh-ee-oh goes the kid on the street
Hey man what's happenin' with you?
I watched that episode too
maybe I'll get some Chinese
I'll have the dumplings
no MSG please
And when the night breaks through they wonder
if all they lost was self-respect
they pass the homes of greed and plunder
still, ling'ring on, the disconnect
oh-ee-oh sittin' down for the evening
oh-ee-oh through the civil earthquake
oh-ee-oh safe in bed and they're dreamin'
heaven knows if they'll ever awake
Yeah I'll have my coffee black
hey look we're bombing Iraq
I guess that's the only way
oh did I tell you we got Fifi spayed?
and when they get to work they hear drums
the boom fills all the empty space
they file papers lada-dee-dum
trimming their shoebox with lace
oh-ee-oh but there's somethin' a growin'
oh-ee-oh through the bustle and hiss
oh-ee-oh fuck the lawns that need mowin'
oh-ee-oh there is somethin' amiss
oh-ee-oh oh-ee-oh oh-ee-oh
oh-ee-oh-ee-oh-ee-oh
. . .
|
|
If you would sit
oh so close to me
that would be nice
like it's supposed to be
if you don't I'll slit your throat
so won't you please be nice
if you would hug your arms right around me
that would be snug
like it's supposed to be
if we part I'll eat your heart
so won't you please be nice
Oh don't you love this romancing
know that it's your life you're chancing
isn't it nice
now you've married me
sugar and spice
like it's supposed to be
if you go i'll get your dough
so won't you please be nice
Stop with your jazz oratory
I only listen to top forty
N'Sync rules
isn't it nice
together we'll always live
no sacrifice
we'll vote conservative
if you run I'll pull a gun
give me head or you'll be dead
salute the flag or I'll call you a fag
oh won't you please be nice
. . .
|
|
In high school it was cool to say
you look funny
you're a retard dummy
a retarded dummy
yeah you suck out of luck
you're no Playboy bunny
hee hee
so you laugh, it's a gas
they're right on the money
they're just being funny, hysterically funny
yeah i'm stupid it's true
now can we be chummy?
Maybe
But then it hits you, then it kicks you
then you realize you're not unique
and you ignore it, you implore it
just to let you turn the other cheek
don't wanna think about the schools in Bosnia
don't wanna sing about food in Somalia
I don't need this, I don't see this
all I want is inner peace
Graduate but too late
college will just hurt you
soon they'll all desert you
get your just desserts you
all essays MLA format they'll convert you
Could they?
so you try it's like pie
get just more alert you
they'll not try to hurt you
only you can hurt you
so you say, so you play
they would not subvert you
Would they?
But then it hits you, then it kicks you
then you realize you're not unique
and you ignore it, you implore it
just to let you get on through the week
don't wanna think about the new armed forces
don't wanna sing about no carriage horses
I don't need this, I don't see this
all I want is inner peace
You pretend it's the end
ah yes I'm all grown now
uh-huh I'm at home now
fool, you're never home now
even this laugh'll pass
go answer your phone now
you'll see
see I told you you're old
now you're all alone now
look ma how I've grown now
ain't you proud I'm grown now
look this head is all dead
see how much you've done now
You pussy
But then it hits you, then it kicks you
then you realize you're not unique
and you ignore it, you implore it
just to let you find the “om” you seek
don't wanna think about the fall elections
don't wanna sing about no vivisection
I don't need this, I don't see this
all I want is inner peace
inner peace
. . .
|
|
When it says goodbye
you don't hear it sigh
does that it mean
that it's gone far far away
is this your day to
buy a paper
draw a mustache
make the mayor a giraffe
try and tempt fate
get pneumonia
recuperate with soy bologna
(chorus)
Can you hear the rain a ploppin' slowly
with a soft and soapy thud
don't you worry about a moppin', sholy
you'll only find yourself with mud
mayfalta una maleta
mayfalta una maleta
When you go to bed
lay your fuzzy head
by the nightstand
where you turned off your phone
nobody's home, now
ride the subway
make graffiti
go to Famous Ray's
buy ziti
get the paper
no more artwork
make the mayor a dartboard
(chorus)
. . .
|
|
Deliver the paper deliver the porn
deliver the baker deliver the morn
A quiverin' jibberin' shiverin' mass
of sunshine and good times that I have to pass
on the way to my job on the way to my work
on the way to that slobberin' hoverin' jerk
who's my boss today
who's my boss to stay
who's my supervisor when I'm in my grave
a slave on the run still under the gun
of Attila the Hun with a cinnamon bun
I don't know son, was there somethin' I missed
I don't think Fritz Lang was a fantasist
Metropolis exists is this
if you listen close you can hear the piss
(chorus)
Every day's another loss
need the pay so please the boss
through the sludge they mingle by the mile
every worker looks ahead
ah the kiddies must be fed
so they trudge along in single file
joo ming boohaaooo
and you turn and you toil
and you burn and you boil
in the tourniquet coil
of the white folks' soil
spoilin' with a malaise worse than disses or dope
wakin' up in a haze
with your wishes and hopes
and your poor little dreams
all wrapped up in burlap
that you carry around
for a sniff or a snack
or a taste in your haste
to get right back on track
outta whack with the pack
but acquiring the knack
of ignoring the rustle
that quietly seethes
the hustle, the buy-it
the air that you breathe
(chorus)
joo ming boohaaooo
. . .
|
|
My oh my walkin' by
who's the apple of my eye
why it's my very own
clonie
oh if I should stroll the 'hood
who knew I could look so good
just talkin' on the phone to
clonie
we are pals
it's cool 'cause we're not lonely
shallow gene pool
there's nothing to my only
clonie
me and you, hustlin' through
holdin' on through thick and thin
just day by day our DNA
'cause the Olsen twins got nothin' on us
we'll survive
side by side
Mother Nature don't you call her phony
she's my clonie
who was wealthy
but not healthy
had no one to dwell with me
so look who i got born
clonie
far from broke
bored rich folk
we don't need no natural yolk
our babies come full formed
clonie
we'll be huggable
get a publicist and show them
be the most lovable thing
since fucking Eminem
oh my friend
multiply, we're a franchise
like Walt Disney or Hannibal Lechter
we can tell our cancer cells
are more benign than old Phil Spector
we'll survive
side by side
we're tougher than even Russell Crowe-y
you're my clonie
Oh clonie how I love you
I'm the only person I ever loved
gee, that's swell
I guess you're just my fatal attraction-y
you're my clonie
. . .
|
|
There's a rich boy
but he doesn't spend
he just drinks his Poland Spring
he's a quick boy walkin' round the bend
or at home alone reading
and he wants to do good
and he wants to do right
so he does what he should
but he's got to subscribe
to the rules of the tribe
now you're
playin' for the team
everybody loves to love a winner
and you're bustin' the beguine
everybody knows you're no beginner
but ah the bums say oh
things ain't what they seem
you're the respectable member of society
but you don't have nothin' on me
you gotcha east side certified pedigree
but you won't have nothin' you'll see
because I warned you
they would scorn you
but you never did a thing
when you go in for the kill
everybody wants to make it happen
and you make a hundred mil
everybody wants to scratch your back then
but ah the freaks say oh
things ain't what they seem
you're a respectable member of society
but you don't have nothin' on me
you gotcha uppercrust dinner tux sanctimony
but you won't have nothin' you'll see
because I told you
they would mold you
but you never did a thing
are you gonna tell
are you gonna hide
are you
gonna join the crowd or split
who are you payin'
ah what are you sayin'
are you gonna sell
are you gonna buy
are you gonna fizzle out or hit
where are you layin'
ah what are you sayin'
he's a grown man
and he wears a tie
and his laugh is hard and fast
he's a old man
far before his time
and his jacket holds a flask
and he tried to do good
and he tried
to do right
so he did what he could
but he had to subscribe
to the rules of the tribe
now you're lookin' for a queen
everybody talks too much and argues
and it makes you wanna scream
don't these little punks
realize who they're talkin' to
but ah the scrubs say oh
things ain't what they seem
you're a respectable member of society
but you don't have nothin' on me
you gotcha caterers and prada and your maitre'd
but you won't have nothin' you'll see
because I warned you
they would burn you
but you never did a thing
you're the respectable members of society
but you don't have nothin on me
you're the respectable members of society
you're so respectable
you're the respectable members of
you're so respectable
. . .
|
|
Am I sad
not sad enough really
am I mad
not mad enough clearly
am I
complacent
completely
lacking in sincerity
yes indeed I am
am I tough
not tough enough really
am I rough
not rough enough nearly
am I lying here
on the ground
watching you get pushed around
yes indeed I am
really
I don't know why
I'm such a wimp
I realize
I'm just your pimp
but what can I do
what can I do
am I small
not small enough really
I feel lame and cirumspect
I feel your pain and yet
I feel sympathy
empathy
it's just that I'm super busy right now
really
I don't know why
I'm such a shit
I realize
this doesn't help a bit
but what can I do
what can I do
am I bad
not bad enough really
I feel angry and upset
I could write you a small check
look I wish you luck
and here's you're buck
it's just that I'm a yuppie fuck
yes indeed I am
really
. . .
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