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Matt Nathanson




Music World  →  Lyrics  →  M  →  Matt Nathanson  →  Albums  →  ERNST

Matt Nathanson Album


ERNST (1997)
1997
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. . .



I'm ready to embrace this, I'm ready for repair
I've got so many layers left by amateur painters who covered
over what was there
I stuffed myself sick on your memory and the beautiful mess we'd made
But I'm so tired of being inspired only when things slip away
They told me time would strip it all free and leave me bone dry
They told me time would strip it all free but I'm no better than
when I left here the first time
I'm ready to erase this, I'm ready to begin
Spent myself trying to change all the beauty we d made just
to want it all back again
And with the clouds moving in, this hardly looks like the same moon
And with the leaves all gone the trees that once stood strong
now look pinched and cruel

. . .



I've spent more than my share on temptation
trying to cool my swollen tongue
Gorged myself on all that free good will
and left the others none
What I wear like church clothes,
you wear just like jewelry
All the simple things you revel in,
they just suffocate me
And I don't know anymore,
wish someone would tell me who to be
Because I'm ready, I'm ready to try anything
I'm dazzled by glamour and camera angles,
the drama and swagger of fools
sacrificed beauty once to chase after their parade
and spent my morning after
crawling back to you
I want to be brand new, I want to trade in these wings
Mine don't work like yours do

. . .



I got your letter this morning, got your letter alright
It claimed clarity but came in screaming
and I was soaked clean through
How could we ever let it get this far?
To leave us nothing dear but sickness
Me with mine and you with yours
And when we can see things clearer
than we think we see them now
Maybe kiss each other sweetly without trying to bite down
Maybe then all this will be better & maybe then we ll recover
It s funny because I promised myself
that this would never happen again
I'd been warned and I'd been told,
but it s these moments of clarity that cripple me most
You said I was tiresome,
with heels dug deep, reciting my lines
All tarred in make-up and glazed in light

. . .



She said she felt clean, sticky clean if I remember
She said she felt funny asking
and he said he felt funny saying no... but he said no
Alone, she shrank away
Beautiful sun, elegant bright light shining
I will not lay down with you that easy
She spat anxiously, look here at my recommendations
She unfolded the page in front of him
and smoothed it with her hand,
as he looked away
Alone she seethed inside
Beautiful sun, elegant bright light shining
I will not lay down with you that easy
She said nervously, I must have been mistaken
She laughed loud between the apologies
she left ringing in his head,
as she walked away
Alone he fought with his fidelity

. . .



I remember crowds
where you stand alone right now
I remember celebrations
But now my reign has run
all the color from
all my decorations
And I'm fine; I'm just a little lonely
So can I ride on your back for a time?
Oh, the seasons change
so quickly these days
And while the rest in their new coats and new hats
shiver in their beds
You stand outside
and watch the clouds go by
in the same clothes that I met you in

. . .



I am held together by clothes pins and tension,
a wealth of odds and ends
I'm dazzling like the neon street sign
hiccuping off and on again all night long
I've got magazine friends
and enough jealousy to lose them all
But I know this has all been said before
I shed what escape my fiction provided
I lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
and thought it about time to see outside
And I believed it was easy,
stupidly thought I could just get up and walk away
I've got illness hugging me like skin
and I'll shed it clean until I can taste the oxygen.

. . .



Lately I can't tell my friends from my enemies
when it use to seem so clear
I tried rebellion once and look where it s gotten me
Banging apologies against your deaf ears
And she said, "sing me a sweet song tonight,
sing me a new song tonight"
We used to lie side by side
and I would cover myself in you
We used to lie, but I'm no longer so wide-eyed and full
Lately, I can't tell where all this is taking me
I'm spilling over and spitting spiteful words
There was a time once when I understood my cruelty,
but now I'm not so sure.

. . .



They built a hero out of expectations
and what a hopeless hero was he
with sticks for legs he shook when the wind blew,
even slightly
and he welcomed the smiles, he welcomed the applause
and he hoped that they'd never forget
just who they thought he was
they dressed him up in rich man's clothes
and told him he was beautiful
then they expected miracles
His parents were pleased they went to all the parties
he was groomed for greatness from the time he was young
raised on a diet of television
he was taught to listen, kept dumb
and he welcomed desire and reckless luxury
and the world soaked up every drop of drama and insecurity
they dressed him up in rich man's clothes
and told him he was beautiful
then they expected miracles
and then one day his admirers just quit him
they packed up their paint and were gone
and he stood alone,
their beautiful disaster,
wondering were he'd gone wrong
and he wanted the smiles and he wanted the applause
but no one would look him in the eye now,
no one returned his calls
they dressed him up in rich man's clothes
and told him he was beautiful
then they expected miracles

. . .



She said "come along with me,
I've got offerings for you my sweet, sweet boy"
she promised warmth too, but I knew better
her words broke hot against my neck
and tasting the sweet, sweet numb of regret on my lips
I filled my pockets and closed the door
and I tasted all I'd left behind,
then shameful I crawled naked
Searching for somewhere to hide
And in the end she said it was memorable and comfortable
but funny, I wouldn't have used those words
the secrecy and her bed, it was choking me with a knot in my gut
you have beautiful empty eyes, I'm sure of that much
Oh princess open your eyes and close your mouth
else all that spite you swallow willingly , it just might fall out
and I've seen you smile wide, I've seen you at your best
and it left me feeling sick inside and unimpressed
and I tasted all I'd left behind, but shameful I crawled naked
Searching for somewhere to hide

. . .



Hello, my foul weather friend.
These thick sheets of rain
seem to have hindered your way again
and the winds, I can feel the winds, they've gotten so strong,
no wonder You're back to our home.
My ears are always open to your laments
and my will is always weak for your advances,
and I'll play the maid and clean up the mess
Your face, I look at your face and it's changed since we last spoke
it s weathered and beautiful,
so weathered and so beautiful
please have a seat, I was going anywhere
but that can wait
because I'd rather have you here while I can
then I'll pack it all up and take you with me again
My ears are always open to your laments
and my will is always weak for your advances,
and I'll play the maid and clean up the mess
I wasn't like anyone else
so real and so strong, so you said
it's always," welcome back, I'll take your bags "
things haven't changed much since you left my side
and though your rooms been unoccupied,
I have tried to give it up.
So here are my ears again and here are my arms
and here are my hopes again,
just please keep coming back.

. . .


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