Liz Phair Album

My black market white baby dealer
Is hunting around overseas
My black market white baby dealer
Brings back clean, fresh white babies to me
Clean, fresh white babies to me

My black market white baby dealer
Is rooting around overseas
My black market white baby dealer
Kidnaps clean, fresh white babies for me
Clean, fresh white babies for me

My smile is dime a dozen
My lips are cherry red
My eyes are blue like the sky is blue
I got good shoulders under my head
I look like your mother
I look like your great-aunt
So sit me down in the family photo
And everyone tells me that I, I look just like you

My black market white baby dealer
Is hunting around overseas
My black market white baby dealer
Brings back clean, fresh white babies to me

He brings back
Oh my God, he brings back
He brings back clean, fresh, white expensive babies
He brings back
Oh Charlie, he brings back
He brings back clean, fresh, white expensive babies

I come post-production
I don't need natal care
I'm already fully assembled
Down to the very last part, it's all there
So take me to your family
So take me to your home
Buddy, take me in as your next generation
And I'll take you out of the lost one and into mine

My black market white baby dealer
Is hunting around overseas
My black market white baby dealer
Brings back clean, fresh white babies to me
Clean, fresh white babies to me

Everyone's talking 'bout Elvis
'Cause it seems like the thing that we do
Elvis is walking around listlessly
Seems he can't even die if he wanted to
It's a bad business to be in
You don't get thanked and you don't get paid
It's a hard world to be in with
And to end with, and to think about leaving behind

Exhuming the body in Memphis
Waiting five hours to get into Graceland
Is this anybody's idea of a good time or a good joke?
Airport biographies are usually true
Fame and fortune took its' toll
He's not the king of rock and roll anymore
He's just a junkie redneck

Pull the sheet over your head
Fold your arms across your chest
Lie back in bed, you can call folks constantly tomorrow
Ohhh, everyone's talking 'bout Elvis
'Cause it seems like a thing that we do
Elvis is living too fat and slow now
To care what we say about him
Picking up hitchhiking Elvises
Christening babies at the foot of his grave
He was watching TV and laughing to himself
Just had to tell someone how he did it

Elvis, be good to me
Elvis, be true
Elvis, I love you
Elvis, be true

Elvis, be near me
Elvis, be mine
Elvis, come back to me
Please, Elvis, be fine

Everything's coming up roses
Everything's coming up Elvis
Everything's coming up roses
Everything's coming up Elvis

Elvis
Elvis
Elvis

I keep a close watch on this twat of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
And the condom on your dick's the tie that binds
Because you're mine

You're gonna sleep with me even if it kills you
You're gonna sleep with me even if we die
You're gonna sleep with me, better get used to it
There's no use in fighting because it's do it or die

Fuck or die
Fuck or die
Fuck or die
Fuck or die

You're going down on me even if it kills you
You're going down on me even if you die
You're going down on me, better get used to it
There's no use in fighting because it's do it or die

Fuck or die
Fuck or die
Fuck or die
Fuck or die

All that's left is to take off your clothes
And do it, do it, do it till you're bone dry
Do it till you're all worn out
Just do it, do it, do it till you're bone dry
Do it, there is no doubt
Do it, there is no doubt

I'm gonna give you head even if it kills you
I'm gonna give you head even if you die
I'm gonna give you head, better get used to it
There's no use in fighting because it's do it or die

Fuck or die
Fuck or die
Fuck or die
Fuck or die
Fuck or die...

I keep a close watch on this twat of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
And the condom on your dick's the tie that binds

Take one more step and it's over
Back up slowly inside
Breathe too loud and I'll kill you
Get down on your knees and beg me
Beg me, beg
Beg me, beg me, beg

Take off all of your clothes
Lie face down on the bed
Move one inch and I'll shoot you
Make like a woman and beg me
Beg me, beg
I said, beg me, beg me, beg

Every night on TV
I see things that should make me blush
Looks like it's going to be another open season
Open season on us
Open season, open season on us

It's the first hot day of the summer
Looks like there's gonna be thunder
I've been sitting here all afternoon
Watching the clouds

You can see the sky from my window
Can feel the wind and smell the rain
And I don't see what difference it makes

Don't give me that sucker fish shit
Your love life ain't that hurting
And you always seemed to get what you wanted without flirting
You're not the only one who's used to playing dirty
And all I ever wanted from you is to leave me alone

So don't give me that sucker fish shit
'Cause I'm not that strong a swimmer
But I'm not afraid to be moving in a slower river
You're not the only one who used to watch Speed Racer

The very first car in a race around the world
Is somewhere in the middle of a race around the circle
And the very first car in a race around the world
Has got to wipe out somewhere
Well, that somewhere isn't me

So don't give me that sucker fish shit
'Cause I'm not getting younger
And I'm not a floatable to keep you from going under
And you're not the only one who used to watch Speed Racer

The very first car in a race around the world
Is somewhere in the middle of a race around the circle
And the very first car in a race around the world
Has got to wipe out somewhere

The six dick pimp is just doing his job
Making sure that business isn't going under
He's got the studs lined up in their stalls
Put a couple of bills in, you see six minutes of balls

Justine has got a plastic baggie on her dick
Cherry's got a couple Prince Alberts through her prick
And nobody's in number four and number six
Put a couple bills in, man, you really shouldn't miss it

I don't care how much time it takes
I don't care what kind of money he makes
I just want my honey back
I'll be on my way
You're gonna gimme my boyfriend back

You thought you were smart
Thought I wouldn't leave home
You rented a car, and now you're halfway to Idaho
You thought you were smart
Thought I'd leave you alone
But you have no idea what kind of hell is coming down on you

I don't care how much time it takes
I don't care what kind of money he makes
I just want my honey back
I'll be on my way
You're gonna gimme my boyfriend back
You're gonna gimme my boyfriend back

The six dick pimp is just doing his job
Making sure that business isn't going under
He's got the studs lined up in their stalls

I don't have what it takes to stay with you
And I'm leaving in under ten days, it's not what I'd planned
But anyway, you know, by and large anywhere I go
I won't find anyone who loves me enough to make you look bad

All the cars on the road are driving away from here
But I'm still looking under my nose to see who I am
But anywhere I go, standing at any kind of show
I won't find anyone who'll tell me what I need to know
That's not how it's done

But anyway, you know, by and large anywhere I go
I won't find anyone who loves me enough

If I ever pay you back
If my money and wallet's intact
I'll probably be in a box lying down
Loosely suited in black

If I ever pay you back
If my money and wallet's intact
I'll probably be in a box lying down
Loosely suited in black
Loosely suited in black

He came over to my house
Didn't even knock, he just walked inside
And when I didn't want to talk
He said, "Oh God, what a lot of bullshit."

Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself 'cause I'm not
Don't you know I'm not?

And I said, "You've got a lot of nerve
Coming here after all of the times
That you've tried to pull the wool
Over my eyes and my ears and nose and mouth and..."

Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself 'cause I'm not
Don't you know I'm not?

And he said, "You've got a lot of nerve
Painting me like I'm the villain.
What about all of those words, like 'he's just a friend'?
Oh God, what a lot of bullshit..."

Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself 'cause I'm not
Don't you know I'm not?

And I said, "You've got a lot of nerve,
After all, it wasn't me who left.
And now you're sleeping with that girl
That you used to say that you have always hated."

Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself 'cause I'm not
Don't you know I'm not?

And we took off all of our clothes
Had a lot of sex and then fell asleep
And when I finally awoke
I held him close and I whispered in his ear and said,
"Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself
Don't be so in love with yourself 'cause I'm not
Don't you know I'm not?"

Hello, sailor, buy you a drink?
Hello, sailor, tell me what do you think?
How was the big beach, how was the sand?
Did you fly an aeroplane, did you get a tan?
How does it feel to be back on American soil, hearing no blood for oil?

Hello, sailor, tell me what do you think?
Hello, sailor, will we get him next week?
How does it feel to be hated and loved back home?
I'm telling you, you should have known

That I'm a little despot, short and stout
Here is my handgun, here is my crowd control
When you tick me off then the bullets fly out
Because free love is a whole lot of bullshit
Free love is a whole lot of bullshit

Hello, sailor
Hello, sailor, buy you a smoke?
Hello, sailor, can I tell you a joke?
Knock knock, who's there?
No, I'm just happy to see you
It'll be a hundred if you come

Hello, sailor, tell me how does it feel
Hello, sailor, to be fighting for real?
Sailor, they got you coming and going
Sailor, look out 'cause your pussy is showing
How does it feel to be back on American soil, hearing no blood for oil?

I'm a little prostitute, I put out and sell
Here come the market monkeys with their little fontainelles
When they tip me over, they better tip me well
Because free love is a whole lot of bullshit
Free love is a whole lot of bullshit

Hello, sailor, buy you a fuck?
Hello, sailor, you had much more than luck
You had the US of army on your side
And that red, white, and pride

Hello, sailor, I mean women and men
Hello, sailor, you gonna be up for it again?
How does it feel to make shooting stars in the sky?
Was it a rush to almost die?

Hello, sailor
I said, "Hello, sailor."
How does it feel to be back on American soil, hearing no blood for oil?

I'm a little liberal, I'm stupid in doubt
Here is my platform, here is my holy roller
When you snow me under, I rock and roll you out
Because free love is a whole lot of bullshit
Free love is a whole lot of bullshit

Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it, wild thing

There's hardly a man left around that you haven't sought out
There's hardly a dress shop in town that you haven't bought out
In case you're wondering why the hair salon wouldn't take you
There's hardly a woman left in any state that doesn't hate you

Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it, wild thing
It's truly awesome

When she was younger she thought her mother had missed her calling
And she, in turn, thought that her daughter's conduct was appalling
After each date she had the boys, went home and dreamed of spiders
She never fell for any man who wasn't rich as Midas

Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it, wild thing
It's truly awesome

If there's a lesson to be learned then I'm sure I don't know it
We've all been waiting twenty years to see her finally blow it
But as far as I can tell she's happy, rich, and worry-free
And that's a hell of a lot more than I can say for me

Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it wild thing

Wild thing
You made your heart sing
You bought everything you wanted
Spend it, spend it, wild thing
It was truly awesome

The things they say are getting harder to take
But I can't get out of what I'm into
And the jokes they tell are meant to wish me well
But I can't get out of what I'm into
'Cause it's a steady job
And it's the only thing that makes me money
And it gives me something to laugh about
'Cause my real life ain't fucking funny
'Cause my real life ain't fucking funny

The looks they give are starting to make me sick
But I can't get out of what I'm into
And the lines they try might as well be from a guy
But I can't get out of what I'm into
'Cause it's a steady job
And it's the only thing that makes me money
And it gives me something to cry about
'Cause my real life ain't fucking funny
'Cause my real life ain't fucking funny

Ooooh Lord, why have you forsaken me?
Ooooh Lord, why have you forsaken me?

The things I have to do would make a slut blush blue
But I can't get out of what I'm into
I figure two more years, then I'll go back to queers
But I can't get out of what I'm into
'Cause it's a steady job
And it's the only thing that makes me money
And it gives me something to laugh about
'Cause my real life ain't fucking funny

Ooooh Lord, why have you forsaken me?
Ooooh Lord, why have you forsaken me?
Ooooh Lord, ooooh Lord

I can't remember the last time that I felt good for more than a week
I mean really good, for more than a month

'Cause I'm chasing a dream
Makes you wanna feel, makes you wanna cry
Makes you wanna tear the stars from the sky
And sometimes a dream doesn't set you free
And you're halfway there, but you're halfway down
And you just can't get your ass out of town
And sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave
And you can't back up 'cause you're against the wall
And it's the same goddamn thing I told you
Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave
Baby, it's alright
Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave
Baby, it's alright

And I think that's what's happened to me
'Cause I'm walking almost everyday blind
And I'm searching through my past

In a way that isn't healthy, I'm hoping to find
Makes you wanna feel, makes you wanna cry
Makes you wanna tear the stars from the sky
A good list of reasons to know that I'm special
And you're halfway there, but you're halfway down
And you just can't get your ass out of town
To know that I'm different, to know that I'm better
And you can't back up 'cause you're against the wall
And it's the same goddamn thing I told you
Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave
Baby, it's alright
Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave
Baby, it's alright

Look around
Do you see anyone for themselves, like you see yourself?
So why do you still feel so all alone?

Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish
Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish
How many pieces do you wish?
Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish
How many pieces do you wish?
My mother told me to pick the very best one

The last time we made love you said my name to make me come
But it was just a speaking offer
It means nothing without your love
Means nothing without your love
Means nothing

I can wake up any day
And see a million things that I could say
But then you're just an easy target
It means nothing without your love
Means nothing without your love
Means nothing
And nothing means nothing

Each time the world turns 'round
It doesn't make a fucking sound
It doesn't mean that we don't feel it
It means nothing without your love
Means nothing without your love
Means nothing
And nothing means nothing

So if you want to know if I love you so
If you want to know if I love you so
If you want to know if I love you so
It's in my kiss, that's where it is
It's in my kiss, that's where it is

Do you love me 'cause I am in the mood?
Do you love me for a funky groove?
Do you love me 'cause I can mash potato?
Do you love me 'cause I'm an alligator?

Singing oooh, whoa, whoa
Oooh, whoa, whoa
Oooh, whoa, whoa
Oooh, whoa, whoa

Do you love me 'cause I can walk on water?
Do you love me 'cause I'm the President's daughter?
Do you love me 'cause I am queen of England?
Do you love me just 'cause I'm sitting here singing?

Oooh, whoa, whoa
Oooh, whoa, whoa
Oooh, whoa, whoa
Oooh, whoa, whoa

So if you want to know if I love you so
If you want to know if I love you so
If you want to know if I love you so
It's in my kiss, that's where it is
It's in my kiss, that's where it is

So the next time we make love
Drop the words, just do the stuff
Speak softly and use that big stick
It means nothing without your love
Means nothing without your love
Means nothing

He's just a hero in a long line of heroes
Looking for something attractive to save
They say he rode in on the back of a pick-up
And he won't leave town till you remember his name

He's just a hero in a long line of heroes
Looking for some lonely billboard to grace
They say he sprung from the skull of Athena
Think about your own head and the headache he gave

He's just a hero in a long line of heroes
Looking for action at a price he can pay
They say he's famous, but no one can prove it
Make him an offer just to see what he'll say

Check out the dashboard lights
Glowing all green and white
He feels safe in the dark
He wears his bluejeans tight

Check out the thinning hair
Check out the aftershave
Check out America
You're looking at it, babe

He's just a hero in a long line of heroes
Looking for something attractive to save
They say he rode in on the back of a pick-up
And he won't leave town till you remember his name

Call me when you think the coast is clear
I've been hiding out almost a year
Is there something wrong?
What's taking you so long?
And yeah, I know it's not easy

You said if I waited it'd pay off
But my eyes are growing wild and my body's gone soft
Is there something wrong?
What's taking you so long?
And yeah, I know it's not easy

You said I should let go of your hand
But I don't even know if I can
You're the only one
You are the very sun to me
And you know it's not easy

You'd tell me, wouldn't you, if we needed to talk?
And you'd tell me, wouldn't you, if I'd pissed you off?
Is there something wrong?
What's taking you so long?
And yeah, I know it's not easy

Well, I look at the stars and I know you're under them
I look at the cars and I know you insure them
I look at the books and things people are reading
I know that you've written them, too
You've got so many little things to do
But then I look at my life and I know you've forgotten
The promise you made to me
I think that's rotten
I'm hopelessly lost and there's hardly a sound anymore
Coming through that can show me around
'Cause I'm endlessly, endlessly searching the crowd
Looking for something from you
Just one fucking measly clue
Any shitty little tip-off would do
But I'm just an ant in Alaska to you

Then I look at the stars and I know you're under them
I look at the cars and I know you insure them
I look at the books and the things people are reading
I know that you've written them, too
You've got so many little things to do
But then I look at my life and I know you've forgotten
The promise you made to me
I think that's rotten
I'm hopelessly lost and there's hardly a sound anymore
Coming through that could show me around
'Cause I'm endlessly, endlessly searching the crowd
Looking for something from you
Just one fucking measly clue
Any shitty little tip-off would do
But I'm just and ant in Alaska to you
I'm just an ant in Alaska
An ant in Alaska

Miss Lucy had a steamboat
Miss Lucy had a steamboat
Miss Lucy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to Heaven
And her steamboat went to...

Hello operator
Can't know my number
And if you disconnect me
I'll cut off the...

Lyin' by the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy fell upon it
And she cut her little...

Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys in the parlor
Zipping down their flies
I'm in the meadows
The boys are in their pockets

And the boys and the girls, they are fucking
And the girls and the girls, they are fucking
And the girls and the boys, they are fucking
In the dark
In the dark
In the dark

I took my dog to the vet today
He gave her a shot and put her away
And when I got home and got ready for bed, I realized what I'd done
And that's one less thing on my mind

I left the man I'm in love with behind
I moved to Chicago and told him I'd write
But now when I wake and I see the wrong face I realize what I've done
And that's one less thing on my mind

Did you think that I knew what I was doing
When I said that I had to grow up on my own for a while?
Now I'm dog-less and loveless and cold in a midwestern winter
If I'd known what I was doing I sure as fuck wouldn't be here

Now I like to think that I like to learn from mistakes
But I've made that error in judgment one too many times
And I'm not the wiser and sure not the wealthier
I wish to God that I had've been healthier mentally
When I decided to make up my own mind
But that's one less thing that takes up my time

Well, I'm lining up six or seven good jobs
My hair's looking great and my friends are all snobs
But I don't have my man and I don't have my dog
And I don't have very much fun