Goldie Lookin' Chain Album

You knows all the peoples in Gedow Close,
All those people who go tos Dixons, and Currys and Petsmart,
They're safe as fcuk init. Ah ha.

You fcuking knows, fcuking Ben Johnson Way,
Aberdare, Respect.
The GLC back again for the year 2000 plus 2.

Big shout out, respect to the Port 2000 and 2.

Shout to the moon when it's a cresent.
Shout to the bong smokers up Mount Pleasent.

Yeah theres loads of ways to pay the bills
But another way to do it is to sell some pills.

Ah Safe respect to Philsback Road
Two thousand and two.
One step down. Yeah.
Let's 'ave it.

You knows your safe
Once again were back to to inform you we're the
safest of safetity of all the safeness of the Port
Cos we're back init ha ha.

Yeah, all the crew back together again
One step down, fcuking
Two hats, fcuking knows it.
It's the Goldie Lookin Chain
Billy Web,
Flames of death,
fcukin, Mr. Love-Eggs
Mystikal,
Burnside,
fcukin safe.

Yeah man, I love chillin, I love playing on my Spectrum 48K,
I love playing Donkey Kong or one of them Ardale flipmode games like.
I fcuking, I love playing tag with my mate down the park, or off-ground tag,
or I like playing hides and seek, fcuking I loves the chillin man, it's

from the dawn of time they came, travelling silently down through the centuries,
devoted to the ancient code of leisurewear and smoking draw, upon completing
their journey, they assembled in the spiritual epicentre of all things safe and
thus began the task of converting all unsafe un-believers

'ere we go, feel my fukin' flow
like john luc piccard from star-trek, the show
We're living life hard and smoking on the joe
page three model giving my cock a blow

I'm not square but you're wrecked if you tangle
with a chain like mine that goes fukin' jingle jangle
I know all the bouncers, I never have to wait
they even gives me all the fukin' draw they confiscate

sit down and rest your bones
put the GLC loud on your fukin' headphones
show us a bong and smoke two cones
and have a game of snooker down fukin' Capones

some people believe hip-hop's from Harlem
fcuk that we're coming live from St Balam
keepin' it raw for the tricky third album
Keeping it slick for the nuns in Llantarnam

chorus -
you, you knows it and you're safe as fuk......innit

my mind's filled with electricity
i wanted to do this shit since the age of three
but then I didn't know about the GLC
so I bought a fukin' chain and jumped from a tree

to the floor, then learnt to smoke draw
i met up with my mate, P Xain and some more
we got wrecked and went fukin' mad
and made a few songs that upset my dad

some of them were sick and some were insane
and we lost a band member who's name was Hussain
he went away for a week and a day
and he hasn't come back so his rhymes, he can't say

Adam Hussain did too much cocaine
there were too many drugs running through his veins
two thousand pounds overdrawn on his statement
now he's doing cold turkey in the fukin' basement

i got drunk and was sick in the bogs
and on the long walk home through (?)
i go's down town to the talisman
to sell ectasy from the back of a van

delivering lyrics that'll cut you like a razor
traveling at the speed of light, just like a laser
fuk with your head, didn't mean to phase ya
i like dressing up, spa - trainers, tracksuit and a blazer

chorus -
you, you knows it and you're safe as fuk......innit

suckin'(?) and smokin' marijuana
having a drink and dancing in Cubana
i go's down there with a girl called Alana
apparently she works in Havana

i go's down town with no apprehension
i go's to the shop and I buys ten Benson
and the guy behind the counter, he asks us to mention
I'm in the GLC and they're out of the question
he says, 'get out, you make me feel sick'
so I walks away and calls him a prick

i go's down the leisure-centre and uses the gym
and afterwards I have a swim
i got thrown out for smokin' the draw
and lying on the ladies changing room floor
they said, 'get out, son, you've done this before
you even got caught naked on the M4'

they were sick, but they were right
he was sick in the mind but he had a good night
the GLC, they're fukin' intense
but they can make a hundred quid outta fifty pence

you feel the pressure, it feels fukin' intense
but the GLC makes loads of fukin' sense
when you think about it, it makes loads of sense
but when you don't think about it, I don't make no sense

chorus -
you, you knows it and you're safe as fuk......innit

it's like a foreign language, like german or dutch
you listen for a while but you don't know much
so you sit down for a couple of hours, you see
it starts to make sense, it's the GLC

it's all about having tracksuits and chains
and getting wrecked and fukin' puking out your brains
or blasting your ring with loads of weird shit
cos you're fuked up on drugs and you fukin' love it

if you wanna converse then you gotta learn the lingo
it's a game like darts or some bingo
traveling in a car fast down the road
the GLC, it's like a fukin' code

it gets you into places that make your mind explode
like the women's bogs up the fukin' Toad
Don't stop it AND save a few quid on barbers.
it was fukin' murder from the start
the GLC are like fine art
i gotta say, you knows it, clart

chorus -
you, you knows it and you're safe as fuk
you, you knows it and you're safe as fuk
you, you knows it and you're safe as fuk
you, you knows it and you're safe as fuk......innit

goldie lookin' chain, safe as fuk for the year 02, respect to the Maindee boys,
GLC, back once again,
the Pill massive, Steady crew, Beechwood Posse, Risca, Alway, Barrack Hill,
Baneswell, Handpost, Belle view, Massive respect to Lloyd Ganja 99, safe as fcuk,

Alright lee, I'm just chillin down Shaftsbury, got the gold, catch u later...

Psych

Don't go, busting my balls
Or I'll smash your brain all over the walls
It's the chain, and we can't refrain
“You're out of your mind” just like Dane…. Bowers
Were open all hours
Like a superhuman with superhuman powers
Newport was the place I was taught
To do the beatings and so I fought…. The law
Like the hooded claw, I'll fcuk you up, if you're sure
You don't wanna get away or escape,
I got a fcukin shell suit cape, like batman

The scampi monkey is in my brain,
He did it before, and he do it again,
Give special powers to my man, P.Xian
He put on a cape and he put on a chain
He can see women's pants if he focus his brain,
He make young girls play special sick games

Death by fire, I make you expire,
I told you I was sane, but you knows I'm a liar
I'm never ever gonna fcukin retire,
You can call me sir, or you can call me sior
Chant of the GLC like a gospel choir,
We've got the hardware like Brandon Tool Hire

We got, transformers robots in disguise,
Huge big up to Newport cabin supplies.

Mind control, and the power of ten
Can serve you right, time and again
While you're in the pub, and out for a fight
The power of ten, will make it right
Pullin a bird, in the back of a club,
Mind control and hypno guarantees a rub
But back at her place, the temptation is strong,
To have a posh wank and hit it hard on the bong

I'll cook you up like gary roads
But instead of a stove I'll use electrodes,
Electricity fills my mind, the draw I'm smoking was special refined
Flames of death, that's what they shout
Down the Coldra roundabout,
The glc, are safe as fcuk no doubt,
I thought I had scabies, but it was gout
Shout, shout let it all out,
The draw and the fags, I can't do without

We got, transformers, robots in disguise
Huge big up to Newport cabin supplies

Climbin up walls and lookin through windows,
With my new plastic pairs,
I can spray spunk on bimbos

Where'd he come from? He sounds like Michael Caine
He's an honorary member of the Goldie lookin chain
He's got funny glasses and a big wavy maine
And if you ask his name, he'll say it's BBJ

Transformers, robots in disguise
Huge big up to Newport cabin supplies

Do ray me la so la tee doe
Don't you know, I smokes the blow
I goes down the strip club to watch the show,
I got my own seat in the fcukin front row
All the girls love me, especially Joe
And afterwards she lets me have a go

Were like, Transformers, robots in disguise
Huge big up to Newport cabin supplies

Transformers, robots in disguise

Well, I'm fucked, it's half-two... I gotta get 'ome... How're we gonna get outta
here man, what you gonna do?

Let's call a taxi....

You know I've had some of the best times in a taxi cab, I've had some good times
in Star, I had some good times in Town Taxis.. but most of all, I had to the
best times in Dragon cars. Short and tall, you knows it...

I remember it well, first time it was swell
A lift in a taxi that didn't fukin' smell
The driver was safe, he had a mobile phone
And he did a side wheelie when he dropped me off home

Handbrake turns over the grass
Made my next door neighbour feel shit from her arse
They're too fukin' wicked, they always get me home
D R A to the G O N, you're in the fukin' zone

Some had cushions, others had ashtrays
All in all, those rides were the best days
Stopping at the Spar or the 24-hour Safeway
I have to say... it was a good day

I got in this taxi and I felt the vibe
So I asked, "Was it busy tonight, drive?"
He looked at me and saw the bloodshot eyes
So he passed me the spliff and said "Enjoy the ride"

Some cars is red, some cars is blue
My first Dragon Taxi ride was back in '82
It was fukin' great, I had four quid
And he took me back home and gave me 50p

For the lid, off the glue
That I'd be sniffing
In the back off the park
With my mate who was tripping

GLC crew it's the only way to travel
We do it in style just like Jimmy Saville
Sometimes at night when I'm all alone
I crawl out of bed and pick up the phone

Just to hear the Dragon switchboard
Asking what I want
Cos it makes me feel safe
Asking for a drop-off in Pont

One phone call's only the start of it
One phone call and now you're a part of it
Now you done it, Dragon's fixed it for you, and you and you

Stuck in traffic, travelling through Pil
I look at people they make me fukin' ill
Safe inside my lovely Dragon taxi
On my way home to watch a good sexy

My taxi driver now he's in the know
He said he'd pick me up if I gave him some blow
First of all he said he knew my brother
But then I found out he was undercover

The police they took me down Maindee
But they had to let me go cos I'm in the GLC
Joe le Taxi, c'est ca vie
That's the way we dos it in the GLC

Some drivers have a laugh, some drivers don't talk much
Some of them are Asian, And some of them are Dutch
To get me safely home don't cost that much
And the heated leather seats are a luxury touch

There were five us but I couldn't see the fuss
Cos Dragon's got the seven-seater-scum bus
With banging tunes and leather seats
I pass the driver a CD with GLC beats

That'll be a fiver, cos I'm your taxi provider
Feelin' like Deniro in fukin' taxi driver
With Jodie Foster and Harvey Keitel
I just done a drop-off in fukin' Bainswell

When the taxi stops and we started to run
The taxi driver pulled out a fukin' big gun
So I hits the floor 'til he's emptied his clip
Then we had to have a whip round to, er, get him a tip

One phone call's only the start of it
One phone call and now you're a part of it
Now you done it, Dragon's fixed it for you, and you and you

Joe le Taxi, c'est ca vie
That's the way we dos it in the GLC
Joe le Taxi, c'est ca vie

Been chillin er with fcukin 2 Hats this week fcukin knows it
I likes to chill take it easy watchin and listenin to Peter Alliss he's fcukin
great
GLC

Relaxation is important my community welfare officer suggested I relax more
because of the violent outbursts. I'm a lot better now you know so much serious

Serious man I loves to fcukin just sit there have a spliff and relax
most of all I likes watchin the fcukin Antiques Roadshow just in case they
values any of them old cock mags I bought down fcukin town centre

I works hard all day selling the draw
Drinking the beer and being chased by the law
I gets in from town and I kicks back large
With a Radox bubble bath and a body massage

I wears a ball bearing all day in my shoe
So I got a bad boy limp when I hangs with my crew
You knows this much and this much is true
I watches Weakest Link on BBC2

I chills with the birds from the council estates
I goes down there joyriding with my mates
I picks one up with greasy hair scraped back
And starts to get it on to Roberta Flack

Take it easy in my council pad
Smokin the draw I don't get mad
I likes to watch darts on BBC 2
Takin it easy slurpin a brew

When I gets home from work I gotta relax
I get paid cash in hand and I don't pay no tax
I slips on the pavement without stepping on cracks
I combs my hair with some gel or some wax

I'm into leisure clothing got sandals and slacks
And I got a big spliff that's like a Tampax
When I'm chillin at home I drinks Pepsi max
But if you fcuk with me I'll cut you up with an Axe

Going on a day trip up to Big Pit
Some of my mates says the Gift shop is shit
But I'd really like to know how they survive
No draw fags and rizla or GLC vibe

I loves to chill up Pontypool
With the sixth form girls from the local School
I gotta scam going on where they pay me the money
They dress up and then they show me the cunny

Gotta skinhead and I likes the minge
[ ] and a tidy fringe
I wears tracksuits that would make you cringe
When I goes out on a mad drinks binge

Couple of punters on a Tuesday night
Sniffing some poppers I think I might
Bit of speed and I'm high as a kite
Followed by spliffs and I'm out like a light

I puts on the news its got Osama Bin Laden
So I flicks the channel to see a show set in a garden
After seven minutes I puts on ITV
And sees three minutes of romantic comedy

Shot in a studio before an audience that's live
I think fcukin hell there's sex on Channel 5
A good erotic thriller that makes me undo my flies
In under 20 seconds my cock starts to rise

Just been er working hard cleaning out the furniture of a dead person's house
fcukin you've gotta relax man you've gotta take it way easy man
Goes home I sits in my lazy boy reading special instructional pamphlets
On fcukin relaxing I has a spliff

If your circle stays unbroken then you're a lucky man
Cos it never, never, never, has for me
In the palace of the virgin lies the chalice of the soul
And it's likely that you might find the answer there innit

Knows it for real fcukin 200 + 2
It's the GLC crew

fcukin can't stop the fcukin beatings
fcukin Mr Love Eggs
Fire of death
Ray Balaclava
fcukin Power of Ten
One Step Down
fcukin Billy Webb
The fcukin Walsh

Right I've got to tell you a story. There's a story about a bunch
of people who maintain and keep it real. For anyone who's ever
smoked draw around the back of their gran's house or somewhere
where they shouldn't have done it 'cos they migth get in trouble
with the authorities. It's the Goldie Lookin Chain.

Yeah big respect to anyone who got alloy wheels or a nice fcukin
silver BMX, wears fcukin chain, knows the fcukin score, smokes draw,
this ones out to you man. fcukin safe - respect.

That's right man I fcukin met him a couple of years ago, right I
was down at Avana bakery(1). I was working there for quite some
time and erm I hooked up with em like and pretty fcukin safe like,
fcukin GLC crew, safe.

(Rapped)
We're back and we're in demand
Im fcukin dangerous and Im armed
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger out of fcukin Commando
You know we're gonna show you the fcukin way
The GLC way.
You know can't fcukin go 'cos you wanna stay.
And listen more to the GLC so you knows the score.

I once knew sicko's, pedo's, dirty perv's
now all that stuff just gets on my nerves.
Now I've read the word and seeks redemption
But for this album I'll make a fcuking exception

(Chorus)
To all the homeboys workin in Argos
To all the razz kids in B&Q
To all the bad boys working in Aldi
This goes out to you.

Some of you people have never seen it before
Some of you people have never even smoked draw
Some of you people just dont understand
Two Hat's is back and he's on remand.

Now Im back and Im on the streets
Im that mad fcuker that beat up your Nan
I hide behind cars and lorries and jeeps,
hiding from the law when they clean the streets.

He hates society and he's on remand
He's back on the streets, he's got a cosh in his hand

He went to the big house for stealin from the shop
and going home and rubbing sandpaper on his Dad's cock

He took one trip and lost his mind,
Now he endded up doing serious time.

Got raped by Mr Big in the showers,
a man who wears pajamas that are covered in flowers.

Chorus x2

Some of you people have never felt the need,
some of you people have never smoked weed.
Spreading the word and sowing the seed
I'll come to your house with cider and speed.

(?) Got a week in T-pow and greeted with silence (?)
But that's because I was in for domestic violence,
Had to do a bit of community workshop,
So I laid down some beats and done some Newport Hip-hop.

I loves beatings, I loves to fight.
Sometimes I get locked up for the night.
The Five-0 said like the GLC tune,
when they let me out, I went for a greasy spoon.

Two hats when down for a plastic bag,
that was full of sex mags that P-Xain had.
Made him self with a Polaroid camera,
and illegal access to a 6 foot black mamba.

I swiped out in court for doing an assault
I blamed on the devil and the occult
The voices in my head to me to do a beating
I got community service fixing central heating.

He got a letter from the DSS the other day,
he opened and read it and said "fcukin no way"
The busted him for being far to clever,
Pictured him going to court, he said "never".

I got done for trying to rob a Spar
instead of selling drugs down Newport Fish Bar(2)
I got locked in the cell with a bloke called Dell
He tried to touch my cock and my gold chain as well

Going down town with my mate Bone Thugs
Got a move fast and score some drugs
Got fifty quid to spend on the draw
But I might get pissed and spend 20 on a whore.

Designed to hurt you, I've got a new invention
like Roger Taylors hair my legs create some tention
Some of you know me, some don't have a clue,
I got eight shellsuits and my fravorit is blue.

Chorus x2 with voice over
(you knows it)
(GLC style)
(Goldie lookin chain)
(Safe as fcuk)
(You Knows it)

fcukin razzle dazzle for the year 2000 plus 2.
SAFE
If the chain be gold looks wicked in the mirror man
fcuking safe as fcuk man

You dress like Buck Rogers, you got a bell-end for a face
If you fu'k with me, the shit you will taste
Across your lips, you're a disgrace
So the GLC will destroy the place

I drinks all the time, I love Martini
Lambrusco, Lambrini and fukin' ????
Nobody's gonna fukin' mess with me
We're the fukin' masters, the GLC

The fukin' posse, in the fukin, in effect
You better fukin' give us respect
That's right, I'm like a parasite
I come round to your house and keep you up all night

The ... house kids skanking us on the draw
After trying to get us in trouble with the law
We fu'ked him up and left him for dead
Then we went to Oasis and had chips and pitta bread

Fu'k with me and I'll flex my muscles
I'll beat the fu'k out of you oustside Fussels
I'll fu'k you up like Jack the Ripper
And make my escape on the Newport Nipper

If you live in a house or you live in a mansion
I'll fcuk up your ringpiece like fukin' Charlie Manson
He's really fu'kin sick and he's in the Goldie Lookin' Chain
And his name's Love Eggs and he adminsters the pain

The only way to get rid of the parasitic worm is cider

I rubs dogshit into my eyes
I went fukin' blind and no surprise
I said to the doctor, "Help it burns"
He said, "No surprise, it's parasitic worms!"

I got sent to the doctors, I got off the rails
I'd been eating the shit from underneath my fingernails
I had to talk to the priest because my parents found my scales
But they don't know that I'm the biggest pot smoker in Wales

Parasitic worms are like the Goldie Lookin' Chain
Inside your intestines, infecting your brain
Making shit drip but it's drink and strain(?)
Like the infection the worms gave P Xain

I got worms, after my girlfriend fcuked my dog
I noticed one on the shit in the bog
It was white and squidgy, and it crawled away
It made my ringpiece itch for the the rest of the day

I felt bad but I couldn't tell my mum
I had puss on the paper every time I wiped my bum
If you're feeling the symptoms your arsehole is wider
The only thing to do is to drink loads of cider

If you fcuk with us we'll pass on the infection
Up Zanzibar's with an injection
If you're bum starts itching, you've probably got worms
From swimming in Newport Centre in the piss, shit and germs

We did that ... , John Frost square that's the venue
Don't take us on cos we're after a tent, when you spend the night, down at Gwent
Getting higher and higher just like a glider, or David Hasslehoff off of fukin'
Knight Rider
You're fukin' shit if you take on me cos I'll beat you up and lose your nasal
virginity

I got wrecked out of my brain and beat up some people who didn't understand the
Chain
I fu'ked 'em up, really bad, and then realised one of them was my dad

The only way to get rid of the parasitic worm is cider

Cider enema is the order of the day, pumped loads of Strongbow up my arse today
Inches, Stonehouse, Addlestones, Special K, Diamond White and Diamond Brush,
they're the ones that're gonna give you the flush (knows it)

Watch for parasitic worms, they're fukin' everywhere

Ringworms, shredworms, tapeworms too, an itchy ringpiece proves you're part of
the crew
The only way to kill 'em is by drinking a brew, twelve pints of cider stops the
itchy residue
My cousin got 'em first and passed 'em to my gran, she spat on the food and got
a home help van
She infected the 'Port by about 70% and gave an itchy ringpiece to the whole of
Gwent

Yeah, man, fukin' itchin' man, I can't fukin' stand it no more... gotta get a

good evening folks, welcome to draw club. draw club is our society
through this cd you will learn the ways to enhance your draw using skills
if you've never used draw before, possibly by the end of this you'll be...using
draw
but in order to use draw you'll have to listen to this cd first
so..er...to use draw, i've got ..er...a couple of members of the goldie lookin'
chain draw using society. er....with me is er....2000 ad, aka Mr. two hats, are
you a draw user, son?

"yeah fukin' 'ell man, i've been uh....smokin' draw for a couple years now,
uh.... fukin safe,
uh...bit blocked up at the moment, uh.....bit out of my head, innit, you fukin'
knows it, uh, fukin razzle dazzle"

very good, er....opinion on draw there. er..also we've er..p xain, a fellow draw
user, will also show you the way to use draw, p xain...have you used draw
recent?

"i 'ave er...been using draw recently, over the few...... last couple of months
because i've er 'ad a bit of the arthritis in the hand and apparently it eases
the pain which it has been doing. er, i'd like to talk to you later where I will
be demonstrating how to er, erect er and perform the building and craftsmanship
of a spliff with your 5 basic things that you need.....

that's fags, rizla, draw, summit to light it with, prefferably a clipper
lighter, remember that, very good, clip...clipper elite, they're the best, very
good...ok and you need something nice and solid to skin up on, that's number 5,
remember that one, ok, back to you egg, how you doin'?"

so there you have it, your 5 things you need to start the process, if you'd like
to stop the cd now and go and get the 5 things from around the house, you may
borrow something off of a neighbour, prepare yourself in a comfortable chair,
listen to the following song and we'll come back with step 2 later...introducing
you to the draw...