Goldie Lookin' Chain Album

[No lyrics]

Hey, lick the tip, why dontcha...

In 1983, a team of crack draw enthusiasts created a masterplan.
A design for a way of livin' so revolutionary, so groundbreaking,
that its very concept posed a threat to the fabric of society.

A threat even greater than that of having a stiffy whilst standing
in the middle of a Glyn Williams' coach full of nuns.

The implications of this radical movements' political manifesto
posed a threat to the UK authorities who in turn drove its founder
members under ground.

Now, for the first time in world 'istory, these shadowy figures of

The first time that I met my mate
Was in the roller rink where I went to skate
It was early in the decade around '83
Back then Maskell's was the place to be

Pay two quid for your entry fee
I glide into the arena, ecstasy
When you were seven you didn't realise
Most of the adults were stoned out of their eyes

Some jacked up on the seats around the edge
Others were so fcuked that they turned into veg
I didn't care cos I made my pledge
Rollskating at Maskell's got respect

I used to listen to Public Enemy
Erik B and Rakim and BVSMP
But before that, in 1983
I'd go breakdancing after my tea

Down the youth club, eating the fruit pastels
Saturday morning I'd go down to Maskell's
It was my favourite place to go
Dancing all day at the Rollerdisco

ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-nineteen eighty three

When Maskells is over it's out on your bike
Doing bunny hops and wheelies if you like
Nicking from the shop and comparing your Nike
Dropping bricks onto trains was a delight

Then I'd find a weak kid and have a fight
Use your pocket money to buy a head band for the night
From Fussels, Newport's health-sports store
This is the stuff I used to do before

Draw... Paul Hardcastle, ne-ne-nineteen
Was always played on the rollerdisco scene
I would listen to music 'til I went deaf
Skating around backwards to Axel F

Even back then I was still wearing gold
They had an ice rink upstairs, so I was told
It was ecstasy going round a pillar
Doing a special dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller

You-You-You-You-You-You-You-You-You fukin' knows it

ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-nineteen eighty three

Eating cola cubes and watching Grange Hill
Riding my chopper to the Chip shop in Pill
I didn't know words like Cunny or Vag
Getting my 200 metres swimming badge

Back then you were seven, I was eight
I only just started to masturbate
When I was in school the days went slow
Cos I was dreaming of a fukin' rollerdisco

I didn't smoke, I didn't drink booze
I collected star wars stickers and bubble gum tattoos
Stuck 'em on my face cos it made me feel hard
Then popped into the shop to buy some football cards

Finished the album, Panini '83
Get back home in time for the A-Team and tea
Then watch Bullseye, and Saint and Greavsie
Then go to bed, 'til tomorrow, see?

I watch the A-Team and Airwolf too
Before I found drugs and started sniffing glue
Riding round the lane on my Grifter or my Chopper
Even back then I was a hip-hopper

Intro - I'm gonna lie on my back and you put your fingers down my mouth right,
no, no do it right, like aaugh uuuugh! I'm gonna do a jimi hendrix, ..eeuuughh....I'm
gonna be sick in my sleep, euuugh...aaauugh ugh!

i tries to do it proper but kept comin' up a cropper
i needs some hype I think i'll ram raid happy shopper
haven't got a car so I use a space hopper
bouncing to the window, cut my head, show stopper
i want a hundred fans, 200 teeny boppers
i want police protection from 87 coppers
i wanna go gold even better platinum
if you wanna be a star you gotta kill yourself, man
it's the truth step back, take a look around
elvis is dead for being fat - 500 pound
kurt cobain's rich as fcuk he's buried in the ground
jimi hendrix and his amp still ain't makin' no sound
michael hutchence, he's one of 'em too
made a hundred million quid dying tossing on the loo

S U I C I D E ...it might be messy but it's money for free

suicide is painless or so it has been said
i could've killed myself but i'd be better off dead
so I took a deep breath, put a gun against my head
pulled the trigger, click, should've been eating lead
but I wasn't, I was naked in john frost square
mothers with pushchairs stopped and stared
for this situation I was quite unprepared
tried suicide to be famous but nobody cared

committing suicide to enhance my career
it worked for mickey and tupac shakir
jesus was nailed up to some wood
2000 years later and book sales are still good
i heard in a song suicide is painless
and it's 80% sure to make you famous
w4nking with a bag on yer head tied to a door
that bloke from INXS he knew the score

S U I C I D E ...it might be messy but it's money for free
S U I C I D E ...it might be messy but it's money for free

i gotta kill myself, I gotta do's it quick
john entwistle sly, he was snorting arsenic
i keep taking all this coke to make me die
doin' more drugs than they make in fcukin' ICI
it's the best way to go, don't think me dull
I'm not gonna fall off the roof like the flid rod hull
we want people to sing all our songs
and the nuns at saint joseph's rappin' on smokin' bongs
we wanna be remembered when we're six feet under
for hip-hoppin' not robins fukin' beatings or plunder
at the moment I'm not dead like david kampasey
double platinum means you gotta be pushin' up daisies
dad's army's all dead, every last one
but the c*nts are still going on BBC1
yeah that's right I smoke draw from wales
suicide's a good idea to improve vinyl sales

it's useless, it's crap, i'll never be in the sun
how can I be a pop star when I can't buy a gun?
jimmy morrison overdosed in the bath
i know, i'll hang myself with my scarf
tied to the stairs, dangling by my neck
the cord length I forgot to check
stuck it for a week, unable to shriek
the landlord found me and he called me a freak
he cut me down and started to laugh
'if you're dead next week gimme your autograph'
you know I thanked him, returned to my room
the new plan is to go out with a boom
to the station, with a petrol can
five pound please, I say to the man
all set up and ready to burn
the wheel on my lighter just won't turn

suicide is a suicyclebbbl
suicide is a suicyclebbbl
suicide is a suicyclebbbl............i wanna be famous after I die

proven fact, man, if you're dead you sell more
that drummer from def leppard, his arm has made 30 times more than he has
you know our elvis? well, he's dead famous now and he's dead and he's fa.. he's
more famous now like
he's dead like you know, that's what it's all about like
it's fcukin' simple economics
they reckon bob marley's dead but he's not, man, coz he was on the TV last
night, man
just don't lie to me, man
i thought I was havin' a go at an overdose, but I i I don't think you can
overdose on beechams flu plus
i think one of the blokes off of dads army is still alive, I think he's bumming
martin in eastenders innit?
i'll get the ropes, and we'll tie them to the walls, and we all jump off at the
same time and break our necks and we'll make at least 13 quid and you knows

You see's me up church on a Sunday morning, but oh son, you've had your final
warnin

If you fucks with us or plays dirty tricks
We're smashin your face in with punches an kicks
It's a dark time an it's getting fuckin darker
If you see's us then you better scarper
When the suns gone down if we catch you outside
You're gunna end up… hospitalised
Like blind date or surprise surprise
I look like Cilla black wearin a disguise
I like Anne Robinson getting fucked in the eyes
We can get to you in many ways
The streets are straight but they look like a maze
You know what'll happen if you don't pays

I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin (I knows you done over the Spar)
No fuckin bufflin I'm from Duffryn (So gimme the money)
I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin (An a box a Rizla what you nicked)
No fuckin bufflin I'm from Duffryn (Or I'll fuckin batter you)

If you don't pay me you better be expectin,
I visit from the DVS debt collectin
Feedin me bullshit I'm detectin
I'll cut you up, human dissecting
We know that you've been telling lies
That stolen VCR didn't come from our supplies
I know I thought we'd reached an agreement
Don't mess with us, you'll get good treatment
I saw you sellin six cans of lager
Little kids, in front of their father
Now I don't mind, just slide me my cut
No explanation needed you knows that you're fucked
Been placed in charged to keep the peace
Nobody can touch us not even the police
Duffryn Vigilante Squad it ain't nothing funny
Lookin after you if you gives us the money.

I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin (I know you're commitin benefit fraud)
No fuckin bufflin I'm from Duffryn (So if you don't give me the cut)
I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin (I'm gunna fuckin knock you out alright?)
No fuckin bufflin I'm from Duffryn

I caught you sellin fags an now your face is a mess
Cause I know you never got ‘em off the DVS
Ruin the streets, we're sharper than scissors
Cleanin the streets and takin no prisoners
We're Duffryn Vigilante Squad Members
Fuckin Up old Faggots and Benders
Makin ‘em think about what they're doin
It's not natural so they'll get a Shoein.
Sandpiper Way an Kingfisher Drive
Don't leave the house without a knife
Watchout Joyriders we got a stinger
You'll get assraped if you fucks a minger
I don't give a fuck if you stealin pensions
Workin on the fiddle doin extensions
I wants my cut I make no exceptions
If it's in Duffryn you better mention…it, to me.. Cause I wanna know

I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin (I knows your mothers got a part time job)
No fuckin bufflin I'm from Duffryn (Down the doctors surgery)
I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin (So fuckin swipe me a pad of prescription
forms)
No fuckin bufflin I'm from Duffryn (You clit)

Chilled in a Portacabin in Tradegar Park
At nightfall, we comes out cause its dark
We gets tooled up with a gun an a crossbow
Make intimidation heavy like in Moscow
Or some other place behind the iron curtain
If you sells drugs you knows your certain
You'll get chained up, tortured with electrodes
Pledge your nipples, an both big toes

I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin
No fuckin bufflin I'm from Duffryn
I'm from Duffryn, fuckin no bufflin

Intro - my name is a-rape, balaclava, don't fuk with me or I fuk with your
father

shit to me, shit to me, shit to me, fuk you alicia keys

justin timberlake it's time to take a fukin' break
you touched britney spears, you had your piece of cake
i'd rather put my tongue across the face of ricki lake
than sample your music by lifting your break
fuk your soul with my goldie lookin' flow
cut off your penis on the david letterman show
take a deep breath, you're goin' below
like ricky martin being raped by a dildo

chorus - j-lo means shit to me
p-diddy means shit to me
ja-rule means shit to me
fuk you alicia keys

rockin' the tempo, increase the aggro
she's got a fat ass and her name's j-lo
i loves to see her dancin' and wobblin' her jelly
but the music's crap just like that cu*t nelly
when we gets hold of you we can wreck the place
clart you'll need more than a plaster on your face
i'll smash up your cd's in HMV
then i'll smash up madonnas and r-kellys

chorus - j-lo means shit to me.......................it's not safe
p-diddy means shit to me..................cl*t fuk
ja-rule means shit to me...................yer mother
fuk you alicia keys

madonna, mariah carey and whitney
give it up, you're almost 50
wycleff jean, what's goin' on?
fukin' with tom jones bra, you got it wrong
and anastacia, you're names on the list
it's next to shakira and will smiths
i've got alicia keys on her hands and her knees
feelin' the power of the GLC

chorus - j-lo means shit to me......................fcuk off
p-diddy means shit to me.................fcukin' nothin
ja-rule means shit to me..................fcukin' shit
fuk you alicia keys

oh, dirty, christina aguilera lookin' sexy, like my ford sierra
it's got a body kit, it's lowered with a spoiler on the back
she's so fukin' dirty but her music's fukin' whack
stop startin' fuk ricky martin
smelling britneys bacon drapes without her legs parting
you won't believe the smell when she does the splits
she's got a gammy eye and two different sized tits...innit

chorus - j-lo means shit to me
p-diddy means shit to me
ja-rule means shit to me
fuk you alicia keys

wile wile west ikky ikky waa waa
to will smith I say fukin' ta ta
it's gettin' hot in here like a sauna
i'll block you out with an ounce of soap bar
i'll take you out with a can and balaclava
next to go would be rapper rule-ja
and aguilera's tried to roll a cigar
and wangle the ass of shakira

chorus - j-lo means shit to me
p-diddy means shit to me
ja-rule means shit to me

From the hip hop to the hippy to the hoppy to the wibbly wobbly woo,
To the ram jam jimmy, to the goldie lookin' chain to the ad-ad-adam hussain

Alright Spa!
Do you want some fucking weed?
I've got fucking loads of weed man, right

Carl from Risca's had a few fucking ounces off me right,
So I've only got 21 ounces on me at the moment, right
but if you want some fucking more, right
I can do that, that's no fucking problem.

I need to shift this draw quick as fuck,
flip the cash and take my cut.
It's really powerful, it's so strong,
but I'm selling it fast and it's nearly all gone

I'll sell you a nine-bar or just the ounce
I'll sell you little bits or large amounts
Adam Hussein, remember me?
Selling draw from my capri

Want some draw? With me you'll score
Cos I grows this shit out o' my nan's back door
Bongs, bingers, blow buckets,
I sell ounces to schoolkids but I don't care, fuck it

Get it on tick, but make it quick
I just got a load of wicked Thai stick
Party's going down, I'll bring the brown
Tonight it's going off in Newport town

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

People watch me like Match of the Day,
I've got a stack of weed like a bale of hay
I drive my capri like Colin Mcrae
and I've got to drop some weed off in Alway

I've got really good scales and my deals are proper,
The price is wicked too, just like happy shopper

I sells the best skunk,
you can tell by the smell,
I'll also sell you fags and rizlas as well

Oi clarts!
Don't fucking start
Or I'll whip you with my chain, and it'll fucking smart

Weeds green like a frog,
my brown'll make you shake like a shitting dog

10 or twenty, I got plenty
I'm still selling draw down Pilgweny
Getting laid, not getting played
Don't give a fuck as long as I get paid

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

I'm driving, feeling sane
'cos the boots rammed with mary jane
That's right!
It's Benny Blanco,
selling the speed and the blow out of my car,
'cos that's how it's done,
Pigs bust me twice so they got me on the run

Adam Hussein, I'm fucking glc
'cos if you want a thc, come see me
There's a new dance, going on,
in Newport, it's called the funky bong

You wiggle your hips and start to show off
Breathe in and out and then you cough
You can only do it when your smoking a cone,
You can do it with your mates or all alone
Right to the left, left to the right
GLC are the fucking bomb, alright?

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

I've got speed, whatever you need,
'cos I've always got a big bag of weed
My shit ain't bunk,
I sell skunk out of my low ride capri's trunk

Wanna gurn? You better learn,
Your missus'll get free pills burping my worm
She's on all fours,
Wouldn't touch her with yours
'cos she looks like the wookie out of fucking Star Wars

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

i took loads of them fukin' fukin' mushrooms and fukin' that....them
halucinagenics, innit
and I fukin' lost it, dinni, this is the way it fukin' goes......

safe as fuk, i've took an acid and loads of times, it's made my arms stretch
three times longer than they normally are, I feel like I can fly up in the air,
and my mother's really funny when she walks in the room all worried, like....innit.........

i've had flashbacks, i've had all the shit, I thought I was at Woodstock in, er,
'69, I fukin' didn't know what was goin' on, but really I was just down Pil, it
was a fukin' terrible time, don't take the LSD if you've got a weak mind, you
knows it, stay safe, look after yourself,
GLC, you knows it........

soon as you see the colours, you're there, son......innit

i was at a party in Pil the other night
a clart gave me a trip, he said they were alright
i looked him up and down and gave him the Hussain frown
he was pretty fukin' safe, not you're average razz clown

he had something sweating in his greasy fukin' paw
but it was made of paper, it didn't smell of fukin' draw
he got them from a bloke called Lloyd Ganja 99
i heard he took five and said that he was fine

now it's my turn to take the micro-dot
how was I supposed to know i'd lose the fukin' plot?
the room started spinning so I put them in my belly
i suppose it happens after eight fukin' jellys

i chucked a massive whitey as I saw the melting walls
i took a step back and fell over Ben-Wa-Balls
my eyes started to dilate and I felt fukin' great
after the ninth fukin' trip, I started to hallucinate

in the corner was my mate they call Boy-Balls
i stared at him hard and didn't recognize him at all
i made my way outta the room, I didn't fukin' stall
i began to freak out and walked into a brick wall

gotta take some more, gotta push it to the edge
Blanc was on his ass boffin' in the fukin' hedge
wrecked up on trips, his mind's in bits
his bowels are loose and I think he's got the shits

Adam went over to Eggsie to see what he thinks
fukin' go to the toilet, a couple of drinks
you start feeling fine if your minds are on the blinks
if you feel fukin' funny then you better not think
otherwise you'll panic and you're ring-piece'll stink
it's obvious enough to see that you're out of your head on LSD

....G.....L.....C.....

block the rock, leaving you shell shocked
getting bigger and harder and that's just my cock
he buys loads of draw by the ounce and the block
but he prefers taking acid cos it makes his mind rock

I'm losing my head, I'm losing my mind, man
my last fukin' trip got swallowed by my gran
i lost my grip when I took the trips
so I (?) window and I beat him with a stick

everyone started laughing at the clart they call Hussain
but they soon fukin' stopped cos they knows that I'm insane
it's time to go home, it's time to go to bed
it's only half past nine but my brain's outta my head

i've been taking ecstasy since I turned fifteen
but I had to give it up cos it made me fukin' mean
i took the LSD and I thought it was great
but I didn't realize it would make me hallucinate

i was persuaded to say, I didn't even go
by a bloke who owed me loads of fukin' blow
'fuk this shit,' I said, as I hit him with a brick
the last trip started to make me fukin' sick

i boffed on the floor and went out the door
Eggsie said, 'come back and take some more'
i think I needs help, get me a fukin' medic
the sky outside was looking proper fukin' psycadellic

the monkey's on my brain and I'm goin' insane
cos I took too much acid with my goldie lookin' chain
the monkey's in my brain and I'm goin' insane
cos I took too much acid with my goldie lookin' chain

I'm outta my mind, Adam, I can see the colours, I can fukin' seeeeee.....G.....L.....C......

get me to St. Caddicks, I need to see the quack
now I'm seeing flashbacks of Bert Backarack
oh, alright, I'm outta my head on E
i much prefer takin' my favourite drug, LSD

it gets me really wrecked and makes me feel really crazy
my eyes start swirling and my body feels lazy
i looks at the floor, I looks at the wall
i think to myself, 'i feel like someone called Paul'
because that's not who I am, but that's what it does to you
it makes you feel like you're something else, like a rabbit or a tree

big shout to all the fukin' GLC crew, you knows it, safe as fuk

shouts out to all the people with swirly eyes and crazy arms all wriggling round
all over the place, they're all dribbling, man, it's craizeeeeeeeeeee

fukin' massive shout out to J-Mez, he's a fukin' safe clart in the 'Port, you
fukin' knows it

yeah, P Xain, fukin' respects to Bow-Ma-Balls, Mr Love-Eggs that is, aka,
Raphael-De-La-Ghetto, and other stuff, you knows it, Walshy, fukin' all the
'Port

if you takes enough acid, you can actually fly through time and space
er, this is the closest a lot of people'll get to it but, er, safe as fuk...GLC

Yo... where's my draw... I can't find my draw.... No, that's Paul's draw... I
don't want Paul's draw, I want my draw

Yes, Mystikal, back in position
Known thru time as the metaphysician
You hear my words but the message is hidden
Like Jeffrey Archer being fcuked by the wardens in the prison

Travelling thru time on a golden BMX
Cruising dimensions on a never ending vortex
I went to the future and this what I saw
Charlie Ferris was Prime Minister and he'd legalised draw

Whoa... I'm the alchemist, I'm the illegal alchemist
I'm the alchemist in Newport

I said, "One, two, three..."
This shit is called Alchemy
Turning stuff into gold you see
Then sell it on for the GLC

Em Why Ess Tee Eye Kay Ay to the Ell
Like Paul McKenna I'll put you under my spell
Gold chain around my neck and a Celtic Tattoo
Sweet herbs and spices and Medieval glue

I taught Einstein how to bust the rhyme
I had four bongs but he had nine
Alchemy and draw, the magic equation
Chalked on stone floors, with a brief explanation

2000 years of traveling thru time
Melting down gold and busting the rhymes
My gold shines and I sold Shakespeare speed
And showed Dylan Thomas how to smoke the weed

Whoa... I'm the alchemist, I'm the illegal alchemist
I'm the alchemist in Newport

You knows it, Spa.

Like King Midas, spraying his fluid
Dressed like Cadfael, and known as the druid
I saw Queen Victoria being fcuked by a stallion
I'll melt down your sovereigns and make a medallion

24-carat gold bad young brother
Word, to your Daddy, your sister and your Mother
Step closer unto the etheric plane

oh, maggot, he's a modern day fagan
turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan
dripping with charm, style and panache
he'll leave you sore like a venereal rash

they tried to catch him, he says, 'time to dash'
he always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash
he's a bastard, but he's always looking flash
with his shoes like Dick Turpin, across his waist he wears a sash

sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too
the tallest member of the goldie lookin' crew
watch out if he's there when you're pissed
he learnt his science from the man, Oliver Twist

of his crimes, we tried to compile a list
selling sexy DVD's of a willy being kissed
stealing pensions on the old and infirm
made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm

like Charles Dickens, there's a lesson to be learned
beware the maggot cos the worm has turned
whoop......whoop......whoop
All of de yout' shall witness de day that Babylon shall faaaalll

just like Jack The Ripper, he'll do you up a kipper
and he's like a highway man holding up a Newport nipper
he's smarter than Sherlock Holmes or ITV's Taggart
II'm dapper, refined and they call me the maggot

turn your back and your pocket, he will pick
his eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped
like a chameleon, I'm the master thief
using a disguise, dressed like Penelope Keith

you gotta smoke a reefer or two
you gotta smoke a reefer or two
you gotta smoke a reefer or two
you gotta smoke a reefer or two

i steal money and hide it in my rectal hole
taking belongings in my ultimate goal
i'll take your china, your silver and your soul
by darkness and night, I shimmy up the drain-pipe

the maggot, the maggot, that's who I am
don't ever trust me, always doing a scam
i punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram
i even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham

gold chains and watches, maggot's got plenty
he pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry
like Sherlock Holmes bumming Watson, it's elementary
he's the modern day menace of the nineteenth century

a gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue
doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue
he's got the strength of ten, like a maniac
and I'm also identified as Spring-heeled Jack

whoa, here he comes, watch out, son, he'll rip you off
whoa, here he comes, he's a money grabbing bastard from Newport

I'm maggot with the GLC
big shout to all the Valleys
free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger
Big up to Dipper Nan
Merthyr Connection
Postman Port, big shout out to Postman Port

And Mark, running the bar
Always sorts it
Big up Hafodrynys hotel
big up to pontllanfraith crew
Also the west end crew iun Abercarn

I did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing
Big wheel up, big wheel up
All the bus routes
X15, 53, big respect
Red and white at cross keys
and their rivals glynn williams

Respect to you all
All those that know fake Elvis
On their transister radio......

Maggot, signing out, 2000 plus 3.

[No lyrics]

I'm gonna make you sweat
The way a pig sweats on a hot day
'Cos I'm feeling real sexy baby
Real Sexy, oohh yeah!
That's right, I'm gonna put me a
sexy video on
I'm gonna massage some oil into my
body baby
'Cos I'm gonna get tight with you
Yeah.


I wanna take you to Mcdonalds with
a candle
Girl, it's my love you can't handle
I see you walking on the way home
from work
Your Tesco tunic really drives me
berserk
I'm for real - it ain't no quirk
My love is lurking the way a rapist
would lurk
In a bush, or a car park in town
I bought you this necklace
It cost me 12 pounds
From Argos, Elizabeth Duke
Maybe you're the skywalker to my
luke
The Darth to the Vader
Flip Over the Crossfader
I'll serenade you with a bag of space
raiders
Or walkers or smiths or maybe even
quavers
'Cos my love for you is like drugs for
ravers
With glowsticks and funny hats on
I loves you more than I loves my
bong

(Fantasy!)

You and me baby
....baby

Oh you fucking knows I love you
right
But the thing is it's like this
You see, I can feel it inside
I can't explain how it feels
My sexual love is for real
Girl you knows it's true, like Milli Vanilli
I'll buy you ten fags on a daytrip to
Caerphilly
I'm after your heart, Oh don't you
see
And your three kids doesn't bother
me
You Know....

I'll give you a rose, pull out your
chair when we eat
Fuck I can't, 'cos In McDonalds it's a
bolted seat
Don't matter 'cos I'm here with you
With a medium value meal and a
chocolate sundae too
Later on I'll come and help you sign
on
I'll stare into your eyes, the housing
benefits gone wrong
Don't worry baby it won't take too
long
I'm just sitting, I'm just waiting, I'm
just writing this song
You know that, time passes and I'm
loving every second
Buying chips for you is as lovely as I
reckoned
You're Victoria Spice, I'm David
Beckham
If you were Dellboy, I'd be the
streets of Peckham
Why don't you come to me, why
can't you see
My love for you is like Matt Bolan to
a tree

(Dance with me!)

You and me baby
....baby
tonight

I'll take you for a ride, we won't go
far
You've been running through my
mind like a shining star
We've got plenty of time to make
sweet love
'cos tonight's the night we take off
the glove
You know what I mean, you're taking
the pill
Don't worry - I'll sort out the bill
Supported by the DHSS
With family allowance, We'll sort out
the mess
What's it gonna take, to get your
attention
A tracksuit and gold chain and semi-
erection
Say no more, I can feel a tear
You can smokes my fags and drinks
my beer

I'll never want another like I want
you
To prove my love, I gotta tattoo - on
my bollocks
I was gonna have your name
but I only got initials
'cos I couldn't stand the pain

(My physical love!)


You and me baby
....baby
tonight

(The emotional reality!)

You're the nicest looking woman
outside of my sexmags
Especially with your makeup, when
your wearing your gladrags
I gotta tell you, I gotta let you know
I wanna buy you trips down the
mecca bingo
We'll sit together, get four in a row
And win a china dog and with it too a
family show
This is romance, how it should be
done
When it's you and me together, it
can only spell fun
We'll walk together, buy some meat
in the market
I'll piss on the car, you'll smile and
park it
I've got to tell you about something I
think
Without you and my chain I'm the
weakest link
So get down baby and feel my love
I'll get you drunk in Weatherspoons,
Into a bush I shove
I'll have a grope and get the last bus
A romantic date, just the two of us

Yeah, one time

You and me baby
....baby
tonight

(Electrical Love!)

You and me baby
....baby
tonight


I'm feeling kind of
Kind of sexy baby
What say you put on that exercise
video
And I'll watch you sweat
Oh yeah!
That damn video with Felicity Kendal
Damn you can....
And your making me feel kinda
Itchy!
I'm gonna go put the mask and
gloves on
Oh yeah
Take em off baby
Just take them
Fuck the music baby
Take them Off
Just, take them off
Just, oh freak this shit man
Turn the fucking tape off man

That's right, you knows what I'm saying
Your mother's offered me the goods, I'm not paying.
It started as a laugh, as a bit of a joke
Something funny to say when I was having a smoke.
I first heard off this bloke, this fucking rumour going round
Your mother's reputation it's not sound
She's saving up the pennies hoping they'd turn into pounds
To have an operation to swap her gender around.

It's a shock to me and it's a shock to you
Your mother's got an adams apple, and a penis too
It don't look right see, when she's walking down the street
To see her ball bag jiggin' to the beat of her feet

I said
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
That's right
Your mother's got a penis

In internet rooms and computer mainframes
There's loads of e-mails bout your mother's blue veins.
Not the ones in her legs or the backs of her arms
But the ones in her member head and in her garms.
She walks around town, with a short dress on
Which sometimes exposes the tip of her dong.
Often it's dripping, sometimes it's dry
No matter when I see her there's a tear in my eye.
I thought I had to tell you, had to put it in a letter
But I thought fuck that I'd write a song in much better.
The only way to do it, to really let you know
I could prove it because I gave it a blow.
It was purely accidently because she got me really drunk
And she made me kiss her elephant trunk.
You know why? That's right
Your mother got a penis.

Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis, c'mon*
That's right
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*

Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Let's Rock !*
That's right
Your mother's got a penis

When she walks down the street, then she walks like John Wayne
I just seen her pissing standing up again.
Don't make no sense when you see her here and there
She got a cock and balls and real pubic hair.
And a single eye that sometimes weaps
If she lying on the bed then she rubs it on the sheets
Or up against the door or the back of your neck
If your mother's around then you make a double check.
I hate to tell you with all due respect
Take your mother to the doctors because her front bum's wrecked.

You know why?
Your mother's got a penis *C'mon Wembley*

Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis *Put your hands in the air, Wembley*
That's right
Your mother's got a penis *Yes*

Your mother's got a penis *Wembley Arena, I can feel the electricity, C'mon !*
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
That's right
Your mother's got a penis

For the 18th week running, UK rap group the GLC hold the number one
position of the US billboard chart with another smash hit, Your Mother's Got A
Penis.

Come 'ere boys, you ever seen a woman with a cock before?
Come yer, c'mon look at it. Bounce it up and down n I'll stick it in you
Come yer, a woman with a cock. Tidy !