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Goldie Lookin' Chain
Goldie Lookin' Chain




Music World  →  Lyrics  →  G  →  Goldie Lookin' Chain  →  Albums  →  Greatest Hits

Goldie Lookin' Chain Album


Greatest Hits (2004)
2004
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
Leeroy Fashions Lament
12.
. . .



Hey, lick the tip, why dontcha...

In 1983, a team of crack draw enthusiasts created a masterplan.
A design for a way of livin' so revolutionary, so groundbreaking,
that its very concept posed a threat to the fabric of society.

A threat even greater than that of having a stiffy whilst standing
in the middle of a Glyn Williams' coach full of nuns.

The implications of this radical movements' political manifesto
posed a threat to the UK authorities who in turn drove its founder
members under ground.

Now, for the first time in world 'istory, these shadowy figures of

. . .



Intro - I'm gonna lie on my back and you put your fingers down my mouth right,
no, no do it right, like aaugh uuuugh! I'm gonna do a jimi hendrix, ..eeuuughh....I'm
gonna be sick in my sleep, euuugh...aaauugh ugh!

i tries to do it proper but kept comin' up a cropper
i needs some hype I think i'll ram raid happy shopper
haven't got a car so I use a space hopper
bouncing to the window, cut my head, show stopper
i want a hundred fans, 200 teeny boppers
i want police protection from 87 coppers
i wanna go gold even better platinum
if you wanna be a star you gotta kill yourself, man
it's the truth step back, take a look around
elvis is dead for being fat - 500 pound
kurt cobain's rich as fcuk he's buried in the ground
jimi hendrix and his amp still ain't makin' no sound
michael hutchence, he's one of 'em too
made a hundred million quid dying tossing on the loo

S U I C I D E ...it might be messy but it's money for free

suicide is painless or so it has been said
i could've killed myself but i'd be better off dead
so I took a deep breath, put a gun against my head
pulled the trigger, click, should've been eating lead
but I wasn't, I was naked in john frost square
mothers with pushchairs stopped and stared
for this situation I was quite unprepared
tried suicide to be famous but nobody cared

committing suicide to enhance my career
it worked for mickey and tupac shakir
jesus was nailed up to some wood
2000 years later and book sales are still good
i heard in a song suicide is painless
and it's 80% sure to make you famous
w4nking with a bag on yer head tied to a door
that bloke from INXS he knew the score

S U I C I D E ...it might be messy but it's money for free
S U I C I D E ...it might be messy but it's money for free

i gotta kill myself, I gotta do's it quick
john entwistle sly, he was snorting arsenic
i keep taking all this coke to make me die
doin' more drugs than they make in fcukin' ICI
it's the best way to go, don't think me dull
I'm not gonna fall off the roof like the flid rod hull
we want people to sing all our songs
and the nuns at saint joseph's rappin' on smokin' bongs
we wanna be remembered when we're six feet under
for hip-hoppin' not robins fukin' beatings or plunder
at the moment I'm not dead like david kampasey
double platinum means you gotta be pushin' up daisies
dad's army's all dead, every last one
but the c*nts are still going on BBC1
yeah that's right I smoke draw from wales
suicide's a good idea to improve vinyl sales

it's useless, it's crap, i'll never be in the sun
how can I be a pop star when I can't buy a gun?
jimmy morrison overdosed in the bath
i know, i'll hang myself with my scarf
tied to the stairs, dangling by my neck
the cord length I forgot to check
stuck it for a week, unable to shriek
the landlord found me and he called me a freak
he cut me down and started to laugh
'if you're dead next week gimme your autograph'
you know I thanked him, returned to my room
the new plan is to go out with a boom
to the station, with a petrol can
five pound please, I say to the man
all set up and ready to burn
the wheel on my lighter just won't turn

suicide is a suicyclebbbl
suicide is a suicyclebbbl
suicide is a suicyclebbbl............i wanna be famous after I die

proven fact, man, if you're dead you sell more
that drummer from def leppard, his arm has made 30 times more than he has
you know our elvis? well, he's dead famous now and he's dead and he's fa.. he's
more famous now like
he's dead like you know, that's what it's all about like
it's fcukin' simple economics
they reckon bob marley's dead but he's not, man, coz he was on the TV last
night, man
just don't lie to me, man
i thought I was havin' a go at an overdose, but I i I don't think you can
overdose on beechams flu plus
i think one of the blokes off of dads army is still alive, I think he's bumming
martin in eastenders innit?
i'll get the ropes, and we'll tie them to the walls, and we all jump off at the
same time and break our necks and we'll make at least 13 quid and you knows

. . .



Come out with your hands on your head
Turn the rap music off and step away from the stereo
Put the rap album down, leave MC Hammer alone - turn it off
What?

Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Ask any politician and he'll tell you it's true
It's a fact, music makes you violent
Like Michael Jackson telling little Timmy to be silent
You don't believe me, here's my hype
Offer me the record and I'll show you the type
Of criminal this rap shit is breeding
It's a fact that MC Hammer left me bleeding
Vanilla Ice made my mother say, "fuck it"
If i stuck with 'UB40' then i woulda been in love
But I didn't, I got involved
Cypress fucking Hill taught me to make a fucking bong
But I stacked it, I bought another tape
The Power by Snap, my cock and balls ache
So remember kids till the head double-tap
Guns don't kill people, it's just rap

Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo woo woo
Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo woo woo

Guns don't kill people, wrappers do
I seen it in a documentary on BBC 2
Shot to death outside Hyper Value
Guns blazing like Michael Caine in Zulu
Government statistics are sometimes misleading
The type of criminal rap is breeding
Shot in the chest no one here stopped the bleeding
2-4 to base over, are you receiving?
Remember rap tracks in '87
Scott la Rock up in hip-hop heaven
Biggie and Tupac R.I.P.
Even Jam Master Jay's in the cemetery

Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo Woo Woo
Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo Woo Woo

Guns don't kill people, rappers do
I'm a fucking rapper and I might kill you
As a rapper I'm teachin' you a lesson
AK-47 to Smith and Weston
Just say no, just like Sammo
Bulletproof vest, two guns and ammo
Hip-Hop gangsta tripping
Even Eminem's into pistol whipping
Solid Crew told we're the ones
P. Diddy, J. Lo in a nightclub with a gun
Heard Snoop Dogg now wants to bust a cap
Guns don't kill people, it's just rap

One, two, yo, face my shoe
My name's Mike Balls and I'm coming through
Guns crimes, stabbin' and burgalarization
Is on the rise all across the nation
The safety's off and the pistol's aimed
The Yardies and the Mafia always get blamed
Politician's ashamed, and they haven't got a clue
Rap is more deadly than fucking kung-fu

Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo woo woo
Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo woo woo

Guns don't kill people, wrappers do
From Bristol Zoo to B&Q
I wanna rap, I wanna rhyme
Heard it in a song, now I'm into gun crime
It's a sign of the times like Prince changing his name
You gotta have a shooter to be in the rap game
Like Michael Ryan about to snap
Guns don't kill people, it's just rap

Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo woo woo
Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Sound of the police
Woo woo woo

Guns
Wrappers
Guns
Wrappers
Guns
Wrappers
Guns
I, I love you mum

. . .



eggsy: Adam, do you read me over? i am going down the shop to buy ten fags. do
you need a drink? or some crisps?
adam: f***in hell man you can't go down the shop lookin like that you've got tin
foil wrapped round your legs
eggsy: it is not tin foil. it is my new skin. i am a robot. i am interfaced with
my spectrum. behold.
adam: stop talkin like man.
eggsy: what do you mean? this is my normal speaking voice. my computer
integrated circuit is making me speak like this.
adam: stop talking like that you bellen, come on
*shuffling*
eggsy: I AM A ROBOT I AM A ROBOT A HAAAAAAAA!!
adam: fuckin... inject him man he's losing it

Binatone Spectrum, Pacman, Commodore
ZX-81, donkey kong, fucking high score
Push it to the limit, couldn't push it any more
Wanna be a fucking robot after smoking loads of draw

Bought a speak and spell, stuck it to my chest
And wraps some tin foil onto my head and to my vest
Walking down the stret, my next door neighbours not impressed
I'm a robot and buying ten fags is my quest

Eggsie's gone too far, he thinks he's robocop
He's covered in tinfoil and he's got matching metal socks
We tried to sedate him but he fucking escaped
The man robot myth starts to escalate

He tries to sell himself standing in curries
But if the police turn up, he runs in a fucking hurry
He tries to plug himself in the mains with his nob
And when he's fully recharged he goes out on the rob

Half man, half machine
What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Half man, half machine
What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Being a robot in my digital domain
Enter my world, feel my pain
I'm not like other people you might see or you might know
I made love to a BBC micro
Touching on the disk drive, the monitor got hot
I knew from then, I was a motherfucking robot
Bill Gates from Microsoft, Stephen Hawking's voice
And fucking Lara Croft

I built a lab, secret in my loft
And built a special costume that would help me to jack off
I sat there in front of the screen
For many years, this had been my wet dream
Now I've reached it, I'm finally there
Like terminator being filmed in Aberdare
So alone, when people stop and stare
Like C3PO but with pubes and hair

Robot Love
Robot
Robotic Breakdancing
Robot

the doctor's down the nuthouse said he was an headcase
cos he sticks sprayed silver egg cartons on his face
Sucking off antennas and trying to fuck the fridge
And burnt his pubic wig, with the high voltage

I am a robot
My prime directive is to's go to's the shops
And buy's ten fags
Do's you's compute?

He wants to buy ten fags, his destination is the shops
A tinfoil suit and a hat like Robocop
If your ask him then he'll do a bodypop
Like terminator, yeah he just won't stop

Put electical cable down through the eye of his cock
Plugged it in the wall and gave himself a big shock
The reason that he did it wasn't to give himself pain
Watching Terminator over again and again

Fuck man, get him, fucking restrain him man
get him fucking, fucking get him down man
inject him man, get him down
He's fucking nuts spa and he's losing it
Help me man, just get him fucking....

Half man, half machine
What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Half man, half machine
What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Half man, half machine
What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Xain?: Alright clart are you still a robot?
Eggsy: no, not any more
Xain: You sure about that man?
Eggsy: I can assure you that i am not a robot anymore thank you
Xain: *Laughing* what are you then clart

. . .



The first time that I met my mate
Was in the roller rink where I went to skate
It was early in the decade around '83
Back then Maskell's was the place to be

Pay two quid for your entry fee
I glide into the arena, ecstasy
When you were seven you didn't realise
Most of the adults were stoned out of their eyes

Some jacked up on the seats around the edge
Others were so fcuked that they turned into veg
I didn't care cos I made my pledge
Rollskating at Maskell's got respect

I used to listen to Public Enemy
Erik B and Rakim and BVSMP
But before that, in 1983
I'd go breakdancing after my tea

Down the youth club, eating the fruit pastels
Saturday morning I'd go down to Maskell's
It was my favourite place to go
Dancing all day at the Rollerdisco

ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-nineteen eighty three

When Maskells is over it's out on your bike
Doing bunny hops and wheelies if you like
Nicking from the shop and comparing your Nike
Dropping bricks onto trains was a delight

Then I'd find a weak kid and have a fight
Use your pocket money to buy a head band for the night
From Fussels, Newport's health-sports store
This is the stuff I used to do before

Draw... Paul Hardcastle, ne-ne-nineteen
Was always played on the rollerdisco scene
I would listen to music 'til I went deaf
Skating around backwards to Axel F

Even back then I was still wearing gold
They had an ice rink upstairs, so I was told
It was ecstasy going round a pillar
Doing a special dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller

You-You-You-You-You-You-You-You-You fukin' knows it

ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-nineteen eighty three

Eating cola cubes and watching Grange Hill
Riding my chopper to the Chip shop in Pill
I didn't know words like Cunny or Vag
Getting my 200 metres swimming badge

Back then you were seven, I was eight
I only just started to masturbate
When I was in school the days went slow
Cos I was dreaming of a fukin' rollerdisco

I didn't smoke, I didn't drink booze
I collected star wars stickers and bubble gum tattoos
Stuck 'em on my face cos it made me feel hard
Then popped into the shop to buy some football cards

Finished the album, Panini '83
Get back home in time for the A-Team and tea
Then watch Bullseye, and Saint and Greavsie
Then go to bed, 'til tomorrow, see?

I watch the A-Team and Airwolf too
Before I found drugs and started sniffing glue
Riding round the lane on my Grifter or my Chopper
Even back then I was a hip-hopper


. . .



Burnt a new hole in my tracksuit today,
smoking soapbar without an ashtray,
Red hot nylon dripping on my skin,
I ripped the fucker off and threw it in the bin.
Soapbars cheap and so's my clothes,
they've gotta be because of all the fucking holes.
It tastes like shit and it makes you cough,
and it's the fucking rubber in it that gets you off.

Yeah I smoke soapbar with lots of bits of plastic,
I leaves mine in it 'cos it tastes fantastic.
Skunk costs too much, I cant see the appeal
I'm smoking Port rockie, soap bar or gold seal
Smoke rockie in a bong, a bucket or a hot knives,
bake in in a cake for your mam as a surprise,
I smokes green and it's gone in an instant
but soap bar lasts 'cos it's fucking consistant

Smoke it all up, soapbar in the sky,
I'll smoke soap bar 'til I fucking die
before I die and they lay me to rest
I want to smoke soapbar that's the best.

Last night I went out driving in my car,
I sparked up a fat spliff of fucking soap bar.
A blim burn burnt right down to my dick,
and while I was distracted,
I fucking crashed in,
to a brick wall,
the car was fucking battered,
the bonnet flipped up and the windscreen shattered
you're better off smoking the green instead
'cos it don't blim burn and it's better for your head

Soap bar, sitting in a deep sweat,
thinking I've got to get some rocky for the weekend,
the sight of draw excites me,
stick it in a bong,
light it up and chuck a fucking whitey,
burning holes in my trackie,
the shit always happens when I'm smoking fucking rockie
you heard it on the news, you've seen it on the telly,
Add up for moving soapbar down fucking Lliswerry

You've got to do it like ain't you, cos like it's the fucking thing to do

I used to smoke skunk but it was far too smelly man

Smoke it all up, soapbar in the sky,
I'll smoke soap bar 'til I fucking die
before I die and they lay me to rest
I want to smoke soapbar that's the best.

Most Soap Bar comes from fucking Holland,
They make it out of oil and tires and pollen
diesel, mirabar, flat press too
These are the types of soap bar available to you

These little bits of plastic you find inside
You can use those as a quality guide
Of the standard of soap bar that you are smoking,
the more bits of plastic means the better the toking

Eat a hash cake, bake it a while,
It'll take about an hour,
Ain't draw versatile
You can burn it eat it or smoke it in a spliff
Space shakes, draw gateauxs,
You knows you're Delia Smith

Lying in your bed, dropping blims on your pubes,
Selling draw to your mates, but it's really oxo cubes
When your coking up draw, be quick, don't lick it
'cos it's really fucking hot and it'll burn your fingers

This bloke said to me, you haven't got a clue,
'bout the damage that soap bar can do to you
I tried to see things from his point of view
but I couldn't fit my head up his arsehole too
The bloke was wrong, I knows my stuff
I knows if I smoke it, I'm gonna feel rough
My lungs are fucked and my throat is raw
'cos the thing about soap bar is it's fucking hardcore

Smoke it all up, soapbar in the sky,
I'll smoke soap bar 'til I fucking die

. . .



Eggsy: Alright tonight we got top entertainer Tim West Country a.k.a Billy Webb!
Bill son, what's been going on in town centre tonight?
Billy: Well loadsa you been havin' loadsa booze, but mainly, You havn't been
fuckin' having loadsa booze might you wanna *slur* have
Eggsy: WHat other things have you been up to tonight? Have you been disco
dancing in the rave scene of Zaaaanzibars?
Billy: No. Dink. Right? Fucking fuck off. Drink. Drink. Fucking Drink. Right?
Drink? That's what I'm about like!
Yeah I've had loads!
Eggsy: Is it mainly drink?
Billy: Yeah fuc' (?) yeava listen, fuckin' drink you'll piss your 'art into the
ground (?) Drink, as fuck

"Billy, your mother's here!"

Billy: YEAAAH?! (My mother's always here!) Yeah. Drink. fukin' drink

. . .



That's right, you knows what I'm saying
Your mother's offered me the goods, I'm not paying.
It started as a laugh, as a bit of a joke
Something funny to say when I was having a smoke.
I first heard off this bloke, this fucking rumour going round
Your mother's reputation it's not sound
She's saving up the pennies hoping they'd turn into pounds
To have an operation to swap her gender around.

It's a shock to me and it's a shock to you
Your mother's got an adams apple, and a penis too
It don't look right see, when she's walking down the street
To see her ball bag jiggin' to the beat of her feet

I said
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
That's right
Your mother's got a penis

In internet rooms and computer mainframes
There's loads of e-mails bout your mother's blue veins.
Not the ones in her legs or the backs of her arms
But the ones in her member head and in her garms.
She walks around town, with a short dress on
Which sometimes exposes the tip of her dong.
Often it's dripping, sometimes it's dry
No matter when I see her there's a tear in my eye.
I thought I had to tell you, had to put it in a letter
But I thought fuck that I'd write a song in much better.
The only way to do it, to really let you know
I could prove it because I gave it a blow.
It was purely accidently because she got me really drunk
And she made me kiss her elephant trunk.
You know why? That's right
Your mother got a penis.

Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis, c'mon*
That's right
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*

Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis *Let's Rock !*
That's right
Your mother's got a penis

When she walks down the street, then she walks like John Wayne
I just seen her pissing standing up again.
Don't make no sense when you see her here and there
She got a cock and balls and real pubic hair.
And a single eye that sometimes weaps
If she lying on the bed then she rubs it on the sheets
Or up against the door or the back of your neck
If your mother's around then you make a double check.
I hate to tell you with all due respect
Take your mother to the doctors because her front bum's wrecked.

You know why?
Your mother's got a penis *C'mon Wembley*

Your mother's got a penis *Your mother's got a penis*
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis *Put your hands in the air, Wembley*
That's right
Your mother's got a penis *Yes*

Your mother's got a penis *Wembley Arena, I can feel the electricity, C'mon !*
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
That's right
Your mother's got a penis

For the 18th week running, UK rap group the GLC hold the number one
position of the US billboard chart with another smash hit, Your Mother's Got A
Penis.

Come 'ere boys, you ever seen a woman with a cock before?
Come yer, c'mon look at it. Bounce it up and down n I'll stick it in you
Come yer, a woman with a cock. Tidy !


. . .



oh, maggot, he's a modern day fagan
turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan
dripping with charm, style and panache
he'll leave you sore like a venereal rash

they tried to catch him, he says, 'time to dash'
he always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash
he's a bastard, but he's always looking flash
with his shoes like Dick Turpin, across his waist he wears a sash

sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too
the tallest member of the goldie lookin' crew
watch out if he's there when you're pissed
he learnt his science from the man, Oliver Twist

of his crimes, we tried to compile a list
selling sexy DVD's of a willy being kissed
stealing pensions on the old and infirm
made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm

like Charles Dickens, there's a lesson to be learned
beware the maggot cos the worm has turned
whoop......whoop......whoop
All of de yout' shall witness de day that Babylon shall faaaalll

just like Jack The Ripper, he'll do you up a kipper
and he's like a highway man holding up a Newport nipper
he's smarter than Sherlock Holmes or ITV's Taggart
II'm dapper, refined and they call me the maggot

turn your back and your pocket, he will pick
his eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped
like a chameleon, I'm the master thief
using a disguise, dressed like Penelope Keith

you gotta smoke a reefer or two
you gotta smoke a reefer or two
you gotta smoke a reefer or two
you gotta smoke a reefer or two

i steal money and hide it in my rectal hole
taking belongings in my ultimate goal
i'll take your china, your silver and your soul
by darkness and night, I shimmy up the drain-pipe

the maggot, the maggot, that's who I am
don't ever trust me, always doing a scam
i punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram
i even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham

gold chains and watches, maggot's got plenty
he pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry
like Sherlock Holmes bumming Watson, it's elementary
he's the modern day menace of the nineteenth century

a gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue
doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue
he's got the strength of ten, like a maniac
and I'm also identified as Spring-heeled Jack

whoa, here he comes, watch out, son, he'll rip you off
whoa, here he comes, he's a money grabbing bastard from Newport

I'm maggot with the GLC
big shout to all the Valleys
free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger
Big up to Dipper Nan
Merthyr Connection
Postman Port, big shout out to Postman Port

And Mark, running the bar
Always sorts it
Big up Hafodrynys hotel
big up to pontllanfraith crew
Also the west end crew iun Abercarn

I did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing
Big wheel up, big wheel up
All the bus routes
X15, 53, big respect
Red and white at cross keys
and their rivals glynn williams

Respect to you all
All those that know fake Elvis
On their transister radio......

Maggot, signing out, 2000 plus 3.


. . .


I'm gonna make you sweat
The way a pig sweats on a hot day
'Cos I'm feeling real sexy baby
Real Sexy, oohh yeah!
That's right, I'm gonna put me a
sexy video on
I'm gonna massage some oil into my
body baby
'Cos I'm gonna get tight with you
Yeah.


I wanna take you to Mcdonalds with
a candle
Girl, it's my love you can't handle
I see you walking on the way home
from work
Your Tesco tunic really drives me
berserk
I'm for real - it ain't no quirk
My love is lurking the way a rapist
would lurk
In a bush, or a car park in town
I bought you this necklace
It cost me 12 pounds
From Argos, Elizabeth Duke
Maybe you're the skywalker to my
luke
The Darth to the Vader
Flip Over the Crossfader
I'll serenade you with a bag of space
raiders
Or walkers or smiths or maybe even
quavers
'Cos my love for you is like drugs for
ravers
With glowsticks and funny hats on
I loves you more than I loves my
bong

(Fantasy!)

You and me baby
....baby

Oh you fucking knows I love you
right
But the thing is it's like this
You see, I can feel it inside
I can't explain how it feels
My sexual love is for real
Girl you knows it's true, like Milli Vanilli
I'll buy you ten fags on a daytrip to
Caerphilly
I'm after your heart, Oh don't you
see
And your three kids doesn't bother
me
You Know....

I'll give you a rose, pull out your
chair when we eat
Fuck I can't, 'cos In McDonalds it's a
bolted seat
Don't matter 'cos I'm here with you
With a medium value meal and a
chocolate sundae too
Later on I'll come and help you sign
on
I'll stare into your eyes, the housing
benefits gone wrong
Don't worry baby it won't take too
long
I'm just sitting, I'm just waiting, I'm
just writing this song
You know that, time passes and I'm
loving every second
Buying chips for you is as lovely as I
reckoned
You're Victoria Spice, I'm David
Beckham
If you were Dellboy, I'd be the
streets of Peckham
Why don't you come to me, why
can't you see
My love for you is like Matt Bolan to
a tree

(Dance with me!)

You and me baby
....baby
tonight

I'll take you for a ride, we won't go
far
You've been running through my
mind like a shining star
We've got plenty of time to make
sweet love
'cos tonight's the night we take off
the glove
You know what I mean, you're taking
the pill
Don't worry - I'll sort out the bill
Supported by the DHSS
With family allowance, We'll sort out
the mess
What's it gonna take, to get your
attention
A tracksuit and gold chain and semi-
erection
Say no more, I can feel a tear
You can smokes my fags and drinks
my beer

I'll never want another like I want
you
To prove my love, I gotta tattoo - on
my bollocks
I was gonna have your name
but I only got initials
'cos I couldn't stand the pain

(My physical love!)


You and me baby
....baby
tonight

(The emotional reality!)

You're the nicest looking woman
outside of my sexmags
Especially with your makeup, when
your wearing your gladrags
I gotta tell you, I gotta let you know
I wanna buy you trips down the
mecca bingo
We'll sit together, get four in a row
And win a china dog and with it too a
family show
This is romance, how it should be
done
When it's you and me together, it
can only spell fun
We'll walk together, buy some meat
in the market
I'll piss on the car, you'll smile and
park it
I've got to tell you about something I
think
Without you and my chain I'm the
weakest link
So get down baby and feel my love
I'll get you drunk in Weatherspoons,
Into a bush I shove
I'll have a grope and get the last bus
A romantic date, just the two of us

Yeah, one time

You and me baby
....baby
tonight

(Electrical Love!)

You and me baby
....baby
tonight


I'm feeling kind of
Kind of sexy baby
What say you put on that exercise
video
And I'll watch you sweat
Oh yeah!
That damn video with Felicity Kendal
Damn you can....
And your making me feel kinda
Itchy!
I'm gonna go put the mask and
gloves on
Oh yeah
Take em off baby
Just take them
Fuck the music baby
Take them Off
Just, take them off
Just, oh freak this shit man
Turn the fucking tape off man


. . .

Leeroy Fashions Lament

[No lyrics]

. . .



From the hip hop to the hippy to the hoppy to the wibbly wobbly woo,
To the ram jam jimmy, to the goldie lookin' chain to the ad-ad-adam hussain

Alright Spa!
Do you want some fucking weed?
I've got fucking loads of weed man, right

Carl from Risca's had a few fucking ounces off me right,
So I've only got 21 ounces on me at the moment, right
but if you want some fucking more, right
I can do that, that's no fucking problem.

I need to shift this draw quick as fuck,
flip the cash and take my cut.
It's really powerful, it's so strong,
but I'm selling it fast and it's nearly all gone

I'll sell you a nine-bar or just the ounce
I'll sell you little bits or large amounts
Adam Hussein, remember me?
Selling draw from my capri

Want some draw? With me you'll score
Cos I grows this shit out o' my nan's back door
Bongs, bingers, blow buckets,
I sell ounces to schoolkids but I don't care, fuck it

Get it on tick, but make it quick
I just got a load of wicked Thai stick
Party's going down, I'll bring the brown
Tonight it's going off in Newport town

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

People watch me like Match of the Day,
I've got a stack of weed like a bale of hay
I drive my capri like Colin Mcrae
and I've got to drop some weed off in Alway

I've got really good scales and my deals are proper,
The price is wicked too, just like happy shopper

I sells the best skunk,
you can tell by the smell,
I'll also sell you fags and rizlas as well

Oi clarts!
Don't fucking start
Or I'll whip you with my chain, and it'll fucking smart

Weeds green like a frog,
my brown'll make you shake like a shitting dog

10 or twenty, I got plenty
I'm still selling draw down Pilgweny
Getting laid, not getting played
Don't give a fuck as long as I get paid

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

I'm driving, feeling sane
'cos the boots rammed with mary jane
That's right!
It's Benny Blanco,
selling the speed and the blow out of my car,
'cos that's how it's done,
Pigs bust me twice so they got me on the run

Adam Hussein, I'm fucking glc
'cos if you want a thc, come see me
There's a new dance, going on,
in Newport, it's called the funky bong

You wiggle your hips and start to show off
Breathe in and out and then you cough
You can only do it when your smoking a cone,
You can do it with your mates or all alone
Right to the left, left to the right
GLC are the fucking bomb, alright?

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

I've got speed, whatever you need,
'cos I've always got a big bag of weed
My shit ain't bunk,
I sell skunk out of my low ride capri's trunk

Wanna gurn? You better learn,
Your missus'll get free pills burping my worm
She's on all fours,
Wouldn't touch her with yours
'cos she looks like the wookie out of fucking Star Wars

I've got 21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

21 ounces of blow
I've got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know
'cos I've really gotta go
I've got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow


. . .


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