Enter The Haggis Album

Hava Nagila, Hava Nagila, Hava Nagila

La, la la la la
la la la la la la la
La la la, la la la la
La la la la la

In the town of Athy one Jeremy Lanigan
Battered away 'til he hadn't a pound.
His father he died and made him a man again
Left him a farm and ten acres of ground.
He threw a grand party to friends and relations
Who didn't desert him when it comes to the will,
And if you'll but listen I'll make your eyes glisten
And spin you a tale of Lanigan's Ball

Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Six whole months doing nothing at all
Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Learning to dance for Lanigan's ball
I stepped out and he stepped in again
He stepped out and I stepped in again
I stepped out and he stepped in again
Learning to dance to Lanigan's ball

Myself to be sure got free invitation,
For all the nice girls and boys I might ask,
And just in a minute both friends and relations
Were dancing as merry as bees 'round a cask.
There were lashings of punch and wine for the ladies,
Potatoes and cakes; there was bacon and tea,
There were the Nolans, Dolans, O'Gradys
Courting the girls and dancing away

Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Six whole months doing nothing at all
Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Learning to dance for Lanigan's ball
I stepped out and he stepped in again
He stepped out and I stepped in again
I stepped out and he stepped in again
Learning to dance to Lanigan's ball

They were doing all kinds of nonsensical polkas
Around the room in a whirligig
But Julia and I, we banished their nonsense
And gave them a taste of a real Irish jig.
Oh, how the girls got all mad at me
Danced 'til we thought that the ceiling would fall.
For I spent three weeks at Brooks' Academy
Learning new steps for Lanigan's Ball.


Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Six whole months doing nothing at all
Six whole months I spent in Dublin,
Learning to dance for Lanigan's ball
I stepped out and he stepped in again
He stepped out and I stepped in again
I stepped out and he stepped in again
LEARNING TO DANCE TO LANIGAN'S BALL!

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Me and me cousin, one Arthur McBride, he and I took a stroll, down by the seaside
A seek for good fortune and what might be tide, bein' just as the day was a dawnin'
And then after restin' we both took a tramp, and met Sgt. Harper and Cpl. Cram, besides the wee drummer, who beat up the camp, with his row-de-dow-dow in the mornin'

Chorus:
Count me out of your fortune and fame, I would rather be here than be slain, This is where I'll die, Lost in the moss of the isle.

He says 'My young fellows, if you will enlist, a Guinea you quickly will have in your fist
Besides a Crown for to kick up the dust and drink the King's health in the morning'
Had we been such fools as to take the advance the wee bitter morning we had run to chance
For you'd think it no scruple to send us to France where we would be killed in the morning

Chorus

As for the wee drummer we rifled his pouch and we made a football of his rowdy-dow-dow
And into the ocean to rock and to row and bade him a tedious returning
As for the old rapier that hung by his side we flung it as far as we could in the tide
To the devil I bid you says Arthur McBride to temper your steel in the morning

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Across the loch
On the mountain side
there lives a lovely lassie I would see tonight
But I haven't got an automobile...
And my bicycle has got a broken wheel...

So... I'll.. be..
Floating 'cross the loch on my monster again
My monster's always with me
He's my very special friend
I'm going to see my lassie Sue Magoo
And if she wants to, Sue Magoo can ride my monster too

When I was wee
At the age of three
That's when I noticed that there was a monster
Very close to me

Though at that time
he was only small
We grew together and now
He has grown quite tall

So... I'll.. be..
Floating 'cross the loch on my monster again
My monster's always with me
He's my very special friend
I'm going to see my lassie Sue Magoo
And if she wants to, Sue Magoo can ride my monster too

And now I am
A big strappin' man
And Sue Magoo and I go riding every chance we can
And together we three road the swails
And one day we had wedding bells

But ten years later
Well, things did change
'Cause Sue got angry and she had my monster rearranged
And although once we were unseperable
The damage was irrepreble
And now he's floating in a mason jar
And I swear I see him dancing when I'm playing my guitar...


So... I'll.. be..
Floating 'cross the loch on my monster again
My monster's always with me
He's my very special friend
I'm going to see my lassie Sue Magoo
And if she wants to, Sue Magoo can ride my monster too

Across the loch
With my monster Jock

Oh the Summer time is coming
And the flowers are sweetly blooming
And the wild mountain thyme
Grows around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go...

I will build my love a bower
By yon clear and crystal fountain
And on it I will place
All the flowers of the mountain
Will ye go lassie go...
And we'll all go together
To pull wild mountain thyme
All around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go

If my true love she will not go
I will surely find no other
Where the wild mountain thyme
Grows around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go...
And we'll all go together
To pull wild mountain thyme
All around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go

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Near Bantridge town in the County Down
One morning last July
From the wild boreen came a sweet colleen
And she smiled as she passed me by
She looked so sweet from her two bare feet to
The sheen of her nut-brown hair
Sure the coaxin' elf I'd to shake myself
To be sure I was standing there

And as she onward sped
Sure'n I shook my head and
I gazed with a feelin' queer
And said I, says I, to a passer-by
Who's the maid with the nut-brown hair
He smiled at me and with pride said he
She's the gem of Ireland's crown
Miss Rosie McCann from the banks of the Ban
She's the star of the County Down

From Bantry Bay to the Derry Quay
From Glaway to Dublin Town
There's no maid I've seen like the sweet colleen
That I met at the County Down

She's a soft brown eye and
A look so sly
And a smile like a rose in June
And you'd crave each note from
her lily-white throat as she'd
Lilt through an Irish tune
At the pattern dance yo'd be held in trance
As she'd kick through a jig or a reel
When her eyes she'd roll she would lift your soul
And your heart she would quickly steal

I read about a man who'd been
Around the world and back again
Built a space ship in his back yard
And went to mars one afternoon

When he got home late that night
He said the people, they were kind
Bought him drinks and entertained him
And that's where he'd been all this time

But do they play the bagpipes on mars?
Do they have a shrine to Elvis?
Easy payments on their cars?
And what do they know about us?
Do they fly in flying saucers?
Do they have to take the bus?

Well, I got pretty curious and I built a space craft of my own
Blew a gasket and lost my oil a half a million miles from home
Fortunately, a family of martians came a drivin' by
Picked me up, and their daughter liked me
Now we're married and the kids look fine

But do they play the bagpipes on mars?
Do they have a shrine to Elvis?
Easy payments on their cars?
And what do they know about you and me?
Do they recycle plastic
And steal cable TV?

Now I got pretty homesick
So I started up a little band
We got famous - three gold records!
Bought the Partridge family's van!
Got bombed out on Uranus
Rave revues on Venus
Things got hot on Mercury
That's where I burned my piano

And now they're playing bagpipes on mars
They've got a drive-thru shrine to Elvis
Photo radar on their cars
They've learned everything from you and me
They're hanging out at singles bars
And watching MTV
... (yes they are)

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