Dirt Nasty Album

I did cocaine with David Blaine
He made my blow disappear, mayne
We pulled the train off Ms. Love Hewitt
She knows what I did last summer, stupid
Oh please, Tara Reid
Took her to eat and she was scared of the beef
So i had to fuck Jessica Simpson
In the kitchen, while she was fixing some chicken
And her little sister Ashley
Was waiting in the pantry,
Spreading the asscheeks
Yelling, "Dirt Nasty!"
Tell my sis
Hurry up with the Teriyaki
Then I did Demi in the pooper
With a semi, she thought i was Kutcher (man)
Dude I heard a rumor. (What's that?)
Alyssa Milano is good for a nooner
And I ain't mad
At Jennifer Aniston, took it in the ass at the Hotel Radison
Her Dad thought it was the Pitt's
'Cause when he walked in,
I was pinchin' her tits
Now picture this,
I got a photo, of Fred Durst's dick
It's about an inch
For real, I stole it from his bitch
Some think that I'm phony homie
I play with my penis like Adrien Brody.
Fuck you sue me
I'll be sniffin' ruffies with George Clooney

L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old sh*t never fucking rains
Droppin' Names
What a shame
Never thought I'd Turn out this way
(Repeat)

I bursted the cunt
Drew first blood on Kirsten Dunst.
And what about the Olsens?
At the Golden Globes,
Holdin' my scrotum
Where the fuck Hillary Duff?
I'mma make her smoke dust and choke nuts
No I'm not kiddin'
I'll Moulin Douche Nicole Kidman
Head spinnin' from the Vodka
Courtney Cox sucked my cock in a Mazda.
Near Jamba Juice
In the parking lot, bombin' on Tom Cruise
His dick's like a needle
Mine's Titanic, ask Leo
Or Vin Diesel
We were shootin' Speed in his agent's Regel
I'm harming my rectum (HMM)
Pardon my French, Carmen Electra
And Haley Joel Osment
Is gonna be doin' coke before his balls be droppin.
My nards aren't clean,
I've been partying with Charlie Sheen.
Hey Angelina Jolie
Why don't you put them lips on my Roman Cannoli
Like Monica Bellucci
I heard the coochie, smells like Bleu Cheese.
I'm horny for beaver.
Gimme a call, Sigourney Weaver.

L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old shit never fucking rains
Droppin' Names
What a shame
Never thought I'd Turn out this way
(Repeat)

I smoke weed with Pamela Lee
I gave her a bong hit, she gave me Hep C.
Hit the beach with Val Kilmer
Surf Malibu, then went out for dinner.
And Robert Downey Jr.
Goin' back to county in the immediate future.
Who da biggest mac ever (to) fuck Jennifer Conolley
In her requiem?
And I don't just fuck thespians
I fuck lesbians.
Like Ellen Degeneres.
And Nicole Ritchie
You look so skinny, don't visit the Windy City.
Penny Marshall
Look like a aardvark gave birth to a gargoyle.
I hold my own.
Ram-bone bitches like Sly Stallone.
And what about Bono?
Tryin' to save the world. You should be fuckin' models.
I'm a Party Monster.
Got Macaully Culkin doin' blow in my hottub.
Who got the drugs?
Lindsay Lohan or Courtney Love?
Hey Matthew My-God-I'm-Gay.
Put ya fuckin' shirt on, this ain't the gay parade.
Renee Zellweger. Enough botox. You look like a elf ninja.
You got to be kiddin.
Is that Jeremy Piven or a bald gay midget?

LA is like groundhog's day
same old shit never fuckin' rains.
droppin names, what a shame.
Never thought I'd turn out this way.
LA is like groundhog's day
same old shit never fuckin' rains.
droppin names, what a shame.
Never thought I'd turn out this way.

I'm on a bone'n bonanza.
Accidentally crossed swords with Tony Danza.
Anna Nicole Smith
It wasn't the pills, she OD'd on my Dick.
And I was in Colorado
When Kobe slid his beef in that blonde hoe.
Christina Ricci gave me a reach around
her eyes were creepy.
And I been feedin' Alpo to that bird lookin dog, Gwenyth Paltrow.
You talkin' to me?
Fuck Robert Deneiro, my meat bring the heat.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Shove a rose in your asshole, Scarlett Johannsen.
Toby McGuire.
Homee, you ain't a man or a spider.
And you a jive turkey
For fuckin trannies, Mr. Eddie Murphy.
I heard John Travolta
Blows little boys in his convertible porsche.
Danny Masterson got a curly bush
he full of estrogen.
And Wilder Valderama
Is the luckiest Gutamalan from Tiajuana.
And Will Smith, I'm the man in black
Packin' the white dick.
I'm sick of these chumps.
You're fired, Donald Trump.

LA is like groundhog's day
same old shit never fuckin' rains.
droppin names, what a shame.
Never thought I'd turn out this way.
LA is like groundhog's day
same old shit never fuckin' rains.
droppin names, what a shame.
Never thought I'd turn out this way.

Spoken:
Screw L.A.
Straight up.
This place ain't nothin' but fake breasts and pollution.
The only callback I had in the last 6 months was to the doctor.
About to fire my agent.
Yo, all you Hollywood actors out there who think you're hard: you're not.
OK? Don't play the role and get caught out there baby.
Dirt Nasty.
2006 and forever.
What?

whip out yo tits and sniff some linessss

Jack Nicholson:
*What Happened to your queer party frends?*

Dirt Nasty:

I got a gold chain,
I'm on cocaine,
I'm like ‘yo, man(e)',

What, what, what, what?

I rolled in, straight from Oakland,
Holdin' my dick like a U.S. Open
Trophy.
What up to *hyphy*,
Ya'll don't know me, Dirt Nasty.
Ass cheeks, spread wide,
G-String, to the side.
One drink, Courvoisier,
Two drink, vodka Straight,
Three drink, I'm in the sink,
Throwin' up on my brand new mink
Coat.
And I'm doin' coke,
Y'all can't hold my donkey rope. (nope)
Call the pope, pray for me,
Gold Rolls Royce for your lady. (ding!)

I lived through the 80's,
And shit was crazy.
Everybody wanna know my name,
Bring the pain and pop the champagne,
Every girl wanna hold my chain,
When I fuck their brains out on the Mustang.

I got a gold chain,
(Like it was 1980)
I'm on cocaine,
(Like it was 1980)
I'm like ‘yo, man(e)',
(Like it was 1980)
It sure does seem that way to me,
And tell your girl to stop pagin' me,

(What, what, what, what?)

I rolled in, stoned as hell,
White lines, gold gazelles.
Hotel on sunset,
Young hoes get undressed, (you bet)
Done dick ain't done yet,
Insert the clip, and get the gun wet, (chick, chick)
Nuff' said, I'm radical,
T-shirt say party animal, (Rawr!)
I ain't no amateur,
This ain't no Hands Across America,
I shine like Morrissey on Hennessy on Christmas Eve (Nope)
Naw, more like Morris Day, on hella yay, dressin gay (Ding!)

I lived through the 80's,
And shit was crazy,
Everybody wanna know my name,
Bring the pain and pop the champagne,
Every girl wanna hold my chain,
When I fuck their brains out on the mustang,

I got a gold chain,
(Like it was1980)
I'm on cocaine,
(Like it was 1980)
I'm like ‘yo, man(e)',
(Like it was 1980),
It sure does seem that way to me,
And tell your girl to stop pagin' me,

What, what, what, what?

(What happened to your queer party friends?)

I got a gold chain,
I'm on cocaine,
I'm like yo man(e)',

What, what, what, what, what…
(I got a, I got a, I got a, got a, got a)
Gold chain,
(Like it was 1980)
I'm on cocaine,
(Like it was 1980)
I'm like ‘yo, man(e)',
(Like it was 1980),
It sure does seem that way to me,
And tell your girl to stop pagin' me
What, what, what, what?

Gold chain
(Like it was 1980)
I'm on gold chain
(Like it was 1980)
I'm on gold chain
(Like it was 1980)

(I'm On)
It sure does seem that way to me,
And tell your girl to stop pagin' me.

I fell in love with a gangsta bitch
A chola chick that'll shank yo dick
Bitch from the other sida town
I live in the hills, she's from South Central
And she got a tattoo on her neck, of lady Guadalupe holdin her tits

I met her up at the Del Taco
I said'you hella fine'
She said ‘You el Guapo'
She was like ‘I don't date crackers or actors'
Matter of fact: I'm a rapper
I thought she'd never get with me
But she saw me on cribs rappin with Mickey

I put a hickey on her titties
Now her cousin Smokey wants to kill me
At the barbeque I stood out
I was the only woodpecker in the mother fuckin crowd

Cracker ass fantastic, That's me
Cracker ass fantastic, Dirt Nasty
Cracker ass fantastic, that's me
Cracker ass fantastic
Word hit the street

So I slap boxed her cousin
At the Jack in the Box by the Inglewood Forum
Straight got my ass beat
But I still hit them ass cheeks, uh

She taught me how to load the glock
And she taught me how to fold my socks
So I taught her how to hold my cock
And I told her, you could quit your job at Ross, baby

Kuz now you with the #1 gringo
No more Doritos or frozen burritos
Have you ever been to Fred Segel's?
$30 salad with a bottle of vino
You could play with my dick under the table
I got the tip covered… Thank you

Dirt Nasty's El Fuego
That means I'm on fire baby
Like Waco

Cracker ass fantastic, That's me
Cracker ass fantastic, Dirt Nasty
Cracker ass fantastic, that's me
Cracker ass fantastic
Word hit the street

I think I hear wedding bells,
And I don't give a fuck that a fish taco smells
She stole a Chavelle
That's what she told me when she wrote me from jail

She Oakland as hell
Raiders hat to the back
Gold Gazelles
Centerfold, Lowrider mag
Other crackers jack it to picture of her ass

She thinks I'm a asshole

Kuz I can't eat her out without using Tabasco
Mommy looked saucy in a poncho
When she dumped my ass at the Pomona car show

Cracker ass fantastic, That's me
Cracker ass fantastic, Dirt Nasty
Cracker ass fantastic, that's me
Cracker ass fantastic
Word hit the street

hey yo mickey, im gorgeous, come around the corner in the bright orange porsche
born to mack, thank the lord for abortion clinics and smack.
ax ya mom who fucked her best, and if she dont say me ill cut off my dick
hey dirt, how many bitches you fucked
a hundred and one, dalmations
ever get down with a transvestite?
ya, reach around in da middle of the night
high top sneakers and a white fur coat, i fuck more little boys than jacko and the pope.
cold as ice, boned you twice, to give you a number that wasnt even mine
i shine like diamonds in da mine, yo dirt, is my hair on right?

im too sexy for my self
im too sexy for my own health
im too sexy for the boys in blue
im too sexy for the girls at school
im too sexy for the vip
im too sexy for you to get with me
im too sexy for the movie screen
im so sexy just shoot me please

im so hot my cock need a fan, so i dont get third degree burns on my ass
homie, i should win a gold trophy, for all the hoes that i boned in the OC
fortunately for me, dirt nasty got a team of pre teen dick fiends
it seems, like a wet dream, pinch me. am im really fuckin three freaks?
what the deal wit ya bitch, she squeal like a pig, then after she cum happy meal for the kid.
bitch, what you know about me?
GIRL : i heard you were a player!
blah blah blah, eat my meat.
mickey got more freak tales than ty cha, and if ya dont believe me ask ya ma ma
dont bother me while i talk to ya feet, cause ya givin me that look like fuck me please.

im too sexy for my self
im too sexy for my own health
im too sexy for the boys in blue
im too sexy for the girls at school
im too sexy for the vip
im too sexy for you to get with me
im too sexy for the movie screen
im so sexy just shoot me please

ya dirt nasty motherfuckers check this shit out its like this

yo first of all my dick is small
three inches hard two little balls
when the lights are out i stick it in
her mouth she says i dont smoke virginia slims
i wear a rubber if it fits shit
but they dont make condoms for baby dicks
maybe its time to buy the pump
but everytime i stick my dick in i cum
and my last girlfriend was a stripper
bitch had beef curtians
like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
if you want it all day dont call me
but you can call me itty bitty sizzle stick
even mini me started laughing at my little dick
please lord tell me if you listening
im tired of having stage fright in the mens urinal

baby dick
itty bitty baby dick
baby dick
baby baby baby dick
baby dick
itty bitty baby dick
he got a baby dick (2x)

whats worse my pops got a purse
he a fag tranny work at circus circus
and my mom is boning tom
that dude from myspace.com
and my little sis got a bigger dick
than me, dad, and uncle rick
fucking bitch i wanna beat her down
but shes 6'3" 200 lbs
damn granny lost it
when grandpa came out of the closet
my balls itch from the crabs i got
i was sleeping with a crackhead hooker at watts
my aunts doing 20 to life
for raping a nerd who works at good guys
so i think ill fuck my cousin in the mouth
even though it smells like orange roughy

baby dick
itty bitty baby dick
baby dick
baby baby baby dick
baby dick
itty bitty baby dick
he got a baby dick (2x)

Yo! Let me introduce my man Dirt Nasty
Dirtiest rapper alive

I woke up in the hospital
Cathader in my dick, suckin on a popsicle
They say you ran over officers, in a 5.0 bumpin papa roach
I said "Where's my clothes?" half swoll with a tahoe nose
My brain stright froze, so cold i'm ice skating on hoes

Got to leave this town, dirt nasty
and change my name yeah, dirt nasty
My future's looking dim, dir dirt nas ty
Like it'll never never be the same

I woke up in the back of the cop car, with my dick lookin redder than a lobster
Smellin like tuna tar tar, all you can eat shrimp dick and pasta
I dont bother my father, i dont know where he lives, I think Reno Nevada
He addicted to vodka and he the same reason I aint talked to my daughter

Got to leave this town, dirt nasty
and change my name yeah, dirt nasty
My future's looking dim, dirt dirtiest rapper ali live
Like it'll never never be the same

This Dirt Nasty trying to leave this, this ghetto streets and the poverty
and the livelyhood stricken form the white community, call it now

I woke up in Attica, gettin my back rubbed by a black panther from africa
He looked like Shaft identical and he thought I looked like Lars from Metallica
Shit was magical, afterwards we shared a Malrboro romantically
then i got released, dick picked me up in a black caprice

Got to leave this town
and change my name yeah
My future's looking dim
Like it'll never never be the same

Got to leave this town
and change my name yeah
My future's looking dim
Like it'll never never be the same

I'm an animal lover
my dog knows
every single night i fuck her asshole
while the cat just stares (what the fuck you looking at)
and video tapes it underneath the chair
and my bird is fucked
cause hes locked in the cage and he peaks at my nuts
snakes got weird pussys its like putting your dick in a bigger dick thats juicy
i gave a roofie to a monkey she gots bananas in the cuzzi
have you ever fucked a falcon after you cum they fly to a mountain

ill be good to you
im an animal lover an animal lover
ill be good to you
im an animal lover and i never use rubbers
ill be good to you
im an animal lover an animal lover
ill be good to you
im an animal lover and i never use rubbers
ill be good

i cant hang at the zoo
cause they caught me banging a kangaroo
i got an ostrich with awkward tits
that sucks my cock in the office bitch (come here)
hey yo who that dude over there
butt nude with his tube in a polar bear
thats me dirt nasty
sheep in the mirror dick in the buttcheeks
gorillas in the mist no
when i come to the congo grap your dildos
the great outdoors
mother nature what a fucking whore

ill be good to you
im an animal lover an animal lover
ill be good to you
im an animal lover and i never use rubbers
ill be good to you
im an animal lover an animal lover
ill be good to you
im an animal lover and i never use rubbers
ill be good

the best part about fucking a horse
is after he rides you to the forest
penguin pussy cold as fuck
and i hold the bill while i bone the duck
meet me at kincos by the copy machine
with my dick in a pink flamingo
candle light dinner with a goose
whisper in her ear "is your butthole loose"
she said "quack quack quack quack quack"
i smacked her im an oakland cracker
i fell in love with a fatass cow
now were getting married down south

ill be good to you
im an animal lover an animal lover
ill be good to you
im an animal lover and i never use rubbers
ill be good to you
im an animal lover an animal lover
ill be good to you
im an animal lover and i never use rubbers
ill be good

this song is dedicated to you scruffy i love you

say ho
say
say ho
say
suck my cock ya poo poo man
lick my little testies like a girl would
but maybe ill get a prosty

Spoken:
Hollywood, Calfornia
City of smoke and mirrors... and bullshit
City will chew you up man.

Chorus:
True Hollywood Story.
Paparazzi all up in this bitch.
True Hollywood Story.
TMZ on the fuckin' scene.
True Hollywood Story.
Man, everyone out here is full of shit.
True Hollywood Story.
Never got his star on the boulevard.

Verse 1:
Everybody love Raymond but no one love me.
I'm a washed up VJ roamin the streets.
I'm holdin' my meat
cause ain't no hoes ever recognizin' me. I'm finished.

Popeye without the spinach
Career over, it's rediculous
I wish I had a fine lady
but I can't afford a Merce-a-dees.

I ain't got a job
Been dressed for less
Shop at *?????*
My agent don't call me back, ever
Since I been smokin' crack.

Dag nab it.
I reinvented myself as Dirt Nasty
Cause I'm the worst at actin'.
Try rappin', let's see what happens baby.

Chorus:
True Hollywood Story.
Another washed up kid on the Sunset Strip.
True Hollywood Story.
Never got his star on the boulevard.
True Hollywood Story.
Another washed up kid on the Sunset Strip.
True Hollywood Story.
Never got his star on the boulevard.

Verse 2:
I get dissed at the club.
I'm so D-List. No more fuckin' love.
My future used to look bright.
Now it look like shit with speed in the pipe.

I sold my Viper
for weed money and a fuckin' lighter.
I used to wake up with hotties
Nowadays, I wake up with zombies.

Anthony Michael Hall,
Kirk Cameron, I need to talk to y'all.
I walk to the mall
in a Scary Movie shirt. My cock, my balls.

Borrow money from my mother
cause my career is in the fuckin' gutter.
I'm just another
True Hollywood Story, motherfucker.

Chorus:
True Hollywood Story.
Another washed up kid on the Sunset Strip.
True Hollywood Story.
Never got his star on the boulevard.
True Hollywood Story.
Another washed up kid on the Sunset Strip.
True Hollywood Story.
Never got his star on the boulevard.

Verse:
Put a bullet in my head
But this ain't no bullshit movie set.
My life's a mess.
can't afford good sh- gotta smoke the stress.

I hit rock bottom
Tabasco sauce in my Top Ramen.
Game over, partner.
My life's over, like La Bamba.

Chorus:
True Hollywood Story.
Another washed up kid on the Sunset Strip.
True Hollywood Story.
Never got his star on the boulevard.
True Hollywood Story.
Another washed up kid on the Sunset Strip.
True Hollywood Story.
Never got his star on the boulevard.

pas down the can of beans,...AND THE KC MASTERPIECE!

My dick costs a late night fee
Your dick got the HIV
My dick plays on the double feature screen
Your dick went straight to DVD

My dick bigger than a bridge
Your dick look like a little kids
My dick large like the chargers, the whole team
Your shit look like you fourteen

My dick locked in a cage right
Your dick suffer from stage fright
My dick so hot it's stolen
Your dick look like Gary Coleman

My dick pink and big
Your dick stinks like shit
My dick got a scene to do
Your dick needs a tweezer dude

My dick is like supersized
Your dick look like two fries
My dick more mass than the earth
Your dick have staph it needs work

My dick been there done that
Your dick sits there with dunce cap
My dick VIP
Your shit needs ID

(Chorus)
It's time that we let the world know
Dude you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

My dick need no introduction
Your dick don't even function
My dick served a whole luncheon
Your dick it look like a munchkin

My dick size of a pumpkin
Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin
My dick good good lovin'
Your dick good for nothing

My dick bench press 350
Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty
My dick pretty damn skimpy
Your dick hungry as a hippy

My dick don't fit down the chimney
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines
My dick is like a M-16
Your dick broken vending machine

My dick parts the seas
Your dick farts and queefs
My dick rumble in the jungle
Your dick got touched by your uncle

My dick goes to yoga
Your dick fruit roll-up
My dick grade A beef
Your dick mayday geek

My dick sick and dangerous
Your dick quick and painless
My dick 'nuff said
Your dick loves Fred

(Chorus)
It's time that we let the world know
Dude you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

Like Jesus
We got dicks like Jesus
Dicks like Jesus