 I saw it advertised one day,
That the Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way.
"Come along 'n' take a trip,
We'll bring you up there on a ship.
Bring the wife and family
Bring the whole kids."
Yippee
Well, I run right down 'n' bought a ticket,
To this called the Bear Mountain Picnic.
But little did I realize
I was in for a pleasant, funny surprise.
Had nothin' to do with a picnic.
Didn't come close to a mountain.
And I hate bears.
Took the wife 'n' kids down to the pier,
There were six thousand people there.
Everybody had ticket for the trip.
"Oh well." I said, "it's a pretty big ship.
Besides, anyhow, the more the merrier."
Well, we all got on 'n' what d'ya think,
That big old boat started t' sink
More people kept a-pilin' on,
That old ship was a-goin' down.
Funny way t' start a picnic.
Well, I soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife,
So many people I never saw in m' life.
That old ship sinkin' down in the water,
There were six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other,
Dogs a-barkin', cats a-screamin',
Women a-yellin', men a-flyin', fists a-flyin', paper flyin'(?),
Cops a-comin', me runnin'.
Maybe we just better call off the picnic.
I got shoved down, got pushed around,
All I remember was a moanin' sound.
Don't remember one thing more,
All I remember's wakin' up on the shore,
M' arms n' legs are broken, my feet were splintered, my head was cracked, couldn't walk, couldn't talk, smell, feel, Couldn't see,
Didn't know where I was
I was bald,
Quite lucky to be alive, though
Well, feelin' like I just climbed outa m' casket,
I grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket.
Took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home,
Wishin' I'd never got up that mornin'.
Now, I don't care just a-what you do,
If you wanta have a picnic, that's up t' you.
But don't tell me about it, I don't wanta hear it,
'Cause, see, I just lost all m' picnic spirit.
Stay in m' kitchen, have a picnic in the bathroom.
Now, it don't seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do f'r money.
There's a bran' new gimmick every day
Just t' take somebody's money away.
I think we oughta take some o' these people,
And put 'em on a boat,
Send 'em up to Bear Mountain for a picnic.
from the Bootleg Series
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