Blue October Album

If I can't crawl inside of you,
I'm laughing with a broken face
I stumble across my self esteem.
But to picture the pleasure is making me want my space.
Understand...
That God wrapped you like a bow.
But in my head...
There's some shelves that need cleaning,
From basement to ceiling, control.
If what you're seeing is an open book,
Thats great 'cuz I'm an open book.
But I'm real shy.
There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing
To open up.
That's strange 'cuz I'm an open book,
A confused boy.
I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage, is used to give and not
Receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice.
I've got this post dramatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
Around my wedding finger and that's where I want to state this claim.
That I've got to learn to live and dream
Before I go and get myself in love.
In love.
There's Zoloft, Welbutrin, there's Paxil that's proven,
No side effects.
But the rest left unnamed 'cuz they worked like a charm on me.
But when your savings is drying,
You can't stop from crying
You've got to suck it up.
You're not her buttercup,
You're not her favorite book.

A walk like a burned out porn star
With aching feet for a car
My buddy had a baby with a girl named star
Makes me appreciate how the little things are
But crossing a road isn't easily told
To a young has-been centerfold
Labeled a winner's episode
Yeah, I'm really clean if you know what I mean
Except for this recurring dream
Of losing total feeling
While the windmill's squealing
The windmill's squealing
I paint to kill the dead saints
I paint to make it clear
My colors run in blue and gray
But they give hope to someone dear
Yeah, yeah, yeah, 2AM lovesick
With a walking pneumonia drumkick
And this candle doesn't have a wick
But I'm really not that scared
No, I'm not that scared
A walk like a burned out porn star
With aching feet for a car
My buddy had a baby with a girl named star
Makes me appreciate how the little things are

The 21st. comes so soon every month
An anniversary of not being strong enough
You're much too co-dependent
A shrink is recommended

Your father tells you to try to be responsible
Your mother loves you, but not the way she did before
Your brother's torn to pieces
But no one knows the reasons

He loves the winter, but it smells too much like memories
The ornament she gave him still hangs from his Christmas tree
A jingle bell will glisten
That's when she loved to kiss him

So say farewell to all the little things she would say and do
The morning, sleepy eyed girl waves goodbye to you
You're much to co-dependent
A shrink is recommended
Yeah...

But yeah, who are the people you hang around with?
Who are the ones you're gonna call?
When you feel like ending it all?
But yeah, who are the people you hang around with?
Who are the ones you're gonna call?
When you feel like ending it all?

But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down

But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down

White kitchen walls
With a thousand windows
You turn on Winston
In the den
And I'm still asleep
But I can hear the piano
When you make
Breakfast after 10
And I smell the coffee
On your fingers
I still smell
The perfume in the bed
Crushed linen roses
On everything
And your still
Inside my head, oh
You gotta make her
Know how it feels
To miss you
Let her know
You're swapping sides
You're not the one
With all the problems
Oh, know
You're the one
With all the pride
So just
Pick your head up, boys
And walk away
Walk the coolest
Walk that you know
Cause in a month or two
She'll call you
You gotta
Hang up the phone
And I hope she knows
I got this memory, thing
That won't ever
Seem to break or bend
A thick lock
And sheet rock
Is on my windows
In the kitchen
I don't think
I'll ever take em'
Down again
And I've learned a lot
From all these break ups
And make ups and
Fuck ups and fake outs
Things that I wish
You could comprehend
Yeah, comprehend
But for now
I'll lace up
My wing tip shoes, boys, and
I'll go have breakfast
With my good friends
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You gotta make em'
Know how it feels
To miss you
Let em' know
You're swapping sides
You're not the one
With all the problems
You're not the one
With all the problems
You're the one
With all the pride
Oh, here we go
You gotta make her
Know how it feels
To miss you
Let her know
You're swapping spit
You're not the one
With all the problems
You're not the one
With all the problems
She's the one
That's full of shit
So just
Pick your head up, boy
And walk away
Walk the coolest
Walk that you know
I know you know
That in a month or two
She'll call you
You gotta
Hang up the phone

I ended the book I'm writing
The part about you I'm tearing it out
A simple goodnight stop fighting
There's nothing left to even read about
I'm leaving you here my darling
To search for a better and easy way out
Through all of the pain that I'm causing
There's nothing there to even sing about

But it goes ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba
Rapha rapha ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba
Yeah

Record this Italian radio
I changed up the words to make you happy though
If run of the midnight music show
I beat up, I beat up the boy that made you happy though
Don't touch the things that you want me to be
They out-weigh the ones that make me happy
So pull out your hands and meet my my fine new lady
She's rock and roll and she'll save me
It goes
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba
Rapha rapha ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba
Hey

You're simply saying everything if you will
Take a pen and write my name on a friend
Who never cared to let me in
And take a vast revine that for
Three years swimmin' straight upstream
And the wind...the wind won't drag me down the end
You live inside my wall and I
I reach back, hit you harder than God falls
Christ, Amen, Amen, Amen
You're such a line to break and I
I'm so scared to make another mistake in the end
But I just wanna be happy again
Until it all falls down
And where does that leave me?
Well, things, things, I've got so many things to say
And with a broken heart, and a straight face
I'm s
Ayin' Brother, help me
It's just a natural phase that I
I go through and then it's taken away
And then BAM! BAM! I'm fixed
Yeah, and I'm in another place to be where I
I can't sleep without the thought of me being so
So damned sick
Take this song, take this song away
Until it all falls down
And where does that leave me?
Well, things, things, I've got so many things to say
And with a broken heart and a straight face
And he says Reach for the girl
Reach for the girl and hold her close
Believe you can shine when you're silver
And I promise you gold; I promise you gold
And whenever you're dark inside
Don't let go; no, don't let go
Remember there's rain and there's candy and Christmasy winter snow
And remember I love you the same
And I'll strangle your pain
And he tells me to sing
So I sing, so I sing
For my brother who keeps me safe
And tells me everything will be OK.

Sweet and somber pigeon wings
Can't we all recall when mama and papa
Were the sweet-toothed Christmas ball
A picturesque holiday family
Yeah of course I was small and I, all I knew was my grandpa
But i really didn't know him at all
I said,
My blood, my cousins, my calvalry
Yeah a piece of them gone but still I feel them strong
When i reach for David cause my Grandpa is gone
I shout out, I got love for the family
Yeah my mother is a doll and my brother can stop any brawl
But um, I pucker up "I'd like to kiss you all"
I said

But open your eyes, a new song cause the family is wrong
So don't lecture me, don't lecture me
But as far as i can see
A stepmom yeah the widow's palm is what's crushing me
And this family

It's beyond my time, yeah it's beyond my time

My weaknesses,
Rear their ugly faces on a day to day basis.
Stay calm and try to see this,
I'm always sensitive relaxing,
Always delicately asking.

But I can't seem to fly away,
I'm feeling small, tall and sick of it all,
And all I want to do is crawl.
You...fly away,
I'm feeling small, tall and sick of it all,
And all I want to do is say...

How to cook up pride?
If you lemon your behavior
It will side a different flavor.
How to change my mind?
If you break apart the candy,
Gently slip it in my brandy.

But I can't seem to fly away.
I'm feeling tall small and sick of it all,
And Esti says that it's my calling.
Fly away.
I'm feeling tall small and sick of it all,
And I want to do is say...

Hold your candle high.
If they jeopardize your meaning,
You must strike upon their ceiling.
If I'm right then who am I?
Well I am simply just the candy,
That you slipped within my brandy.

I see your heart beat through the bedsheet
I feel your pulse against the floor
I sleep the sadness that no one else sleeps
Feel me cunningly adore.

As the tic tock clock lies Goldilocks
What a sick enchanted view
Of the white blot sin that we all began
Not the girl that I once knew.

Blue Sunshine
Ive got no vacancies
At the top of the clock was Jesus spying on me
I spoke of friends
Point me which direction
I tried a bribe of when I die but swore he never
Mentioned.

I kicked and screamed,
"Its simple, you must sing
The day I take you, youll be sleeping
You wont feel a thing."

Writing on a cup of coffee
As she waits my table
And she smiles when able
From the inside
And who would've thought a cup of coffee
Would make my legs unstable
Shaking
Under the table
Must be stagefright
And would it really phase me
If I had all the toys of
All the clumsy boys for you
And would it really kill you
If you would try to have a good time
Instead of screwing up mine
But you do
I'm in Love
Brings a cup of coffee as she sits down slowly
Now the chair is holy
From the inside
And who would've thought that a cup of coffee
Would make my legs unstable
Shaking
Under the table
Must be stagefright
I'm in Love

He's scared
Her ship arrived and came in yesterday
The darkest side of Houston's finest day
You fell asleep, my love
And i fantasize
That the wind blew harder than it ever did
This song we started, will it ever end
You fell asleep again

Well goodbye
With shaking hands I dropped it instantly
Then kicked the phone and stood invincibly
Oh, then started to cry
But i'm twenty now
And I wanna see my nineteenth year again
Hold on to me, you are the closest thing i've ever had
To a real friend
To a real friend, friend, friend

Tomorrow
I'm gonna find a way to die
I'm living only for a lover
And the death of you and I
But if you find a way to break my back
With needles, thread, and guilt
Will you cover me in kerosene
And burn my strychnine quilt
Yeah, will you spit upon the path I took
Will you cry from all the drugs I took
Will be my little come down hook
And I'll never ask again
Will I wake up feeling half of you
Has been striped or torn in two
To kill a young man's point of view
Is to kill his only friend
Oh, oh
Tomorrow
We're gonna find a place to live
I'm packing only means for red wood dreams
It's a place that you'll be excepted
Oh fuck the world
Just a boy and a girl
But it's that leach you'll have to shake
Through the love we'll need to make
Call me sure
Yeah I'm sure I said
I said I'm open wide
But you really have to understand
We'll build a water slide
If you're brave enough to hold my hand
Oh, oh

Have you ever been so lonely,
No one there to hold?
Pull me in or disown me,
And then climb inside.
My arms are open wide.
Have a look inside.

It is not that I am scared to learn,
Why I'm empty inside.
Hold my hand or show some concern,
If I live or die.
My eyes are open wide.
Help me look inside.

I hear the water drip from the faucet.
It's sweetly falling in tune.
I'm gently closing the closet.
I fall to the floor,
And crawl to my room.
The thought of ending it soon...
Just let me sleep in my room.

Hear me cry! cry! cry!
I hear a knock at the front door.
Don't come in!
I try to look at you
But I can't stop shaking.
Leave me alone. Just go away.
Mother I'm so scared.

Empty bed and all of the sheets are gone,
They're wrapped around me and you.
All is quiet but the drop of a gun.
I want to belong...to someone...
But maybe life's not for everyone.