Loudon Wainwright III
"Good Ship Venus"

On the good ship VenusBy Christ you should have seen usThe figurehead was a whore in bedSucking a dead man's penis
The captain's name was LuggerBy Christ he was a buggerHe wasn't fit to shovel shitFrom one ship to another
And the second mate was AndyBy Christ he had a dandyTill they crushed his cock on a jagged rockFor cumming in the brandy
The third mate's name was MorganBy God he was a gorgonFrom half past eight he played till lateUpon the captain's organ
The captain's wife was MabelAnd by God was she ableTo give the crew their daily screwUpon the galley table
The captain's daughter CharlotteWas born and bred a harlotHer thighs at night were lily whiteBy morning they were scarlet

The cabin boy was KipperBy Christ he was a nipperHe stuffed his ass with broken glassAnd circumcised the skipper
The captain's lovely daughterLiked swimming in the waterDelighted squeals came when some eelsFound her sexual quarters
The cook his name was FreemanAnd he was a dirty demonAnd he fed the crew on menstrual stewAnd hymens fried in semen
And the ship's dog was called RoverAnd we turned the poor thing overAnd ground and ground that faithful houndFrom Teneriff to Dover
When we reached our stationThrough skillful navigationThe ship got sunk in a wave of spunkFrom too much fornication
On the good ship VenusBy Christ you should have seen usThe figurehead was a whore in bedSucking a dead man's penis